why would some people say life is messed up because children, but then say they never regret having children?

Question

why can't people just admit their decision to have children was BAD ?

Answer 1

Once you admit it was bad, then what do you do? I enjoyed being a parent and thoought I wanted more. My nephews and my sons friends would come over and I thought how about having another.....well I did and I had twins( something I didn't think of when I was thinking about having another). So do I regret having kids, I guess no cause with the one son Life was grand. I guess I never should have gotten pregnant again, but then that sounds sad, because they didn't ask to be here, and do I get an abortion just becasue I got an extra child- ( All these emotions played out daily while I was pregnant.n I feel the twins have made my life harded in the finiacial circle( more money for daycare ) and social circle( who's going to watch three kids ) so I don't know I guess I never should have gotten pregnant in the first place. Now what must I do, I ask myself will things get better , will I feel different in the next 2-3 yrs. They are only 5months old. I know people would love to be in my shoes, so you do feel ungrateful and foolish for feeling this way. Again, if you feel your life is messed up cause of the kids how do you keep these feelings in check so your life or theirs won't be ruined. I'm still trying to figure that out. I hope that I all works out.

Answer 2

Just because they say there life was messed up due to children doesnt mean they dont enjoy the children. In my case I had a child at 15 and was unable to pursue an education, this caused me to not have that high paying job and drive a fancy car. But had I waited I wouldnt have the child I do, so a part of me regrets the fact that I dont have an education, but none of me regrets my child. I wouldnt trade her for any amount of money. Rather than afancy car and alot of cash, I get to hear her laugh and see her accel. My decision to have children wasnt a bad one it just changed the route my life was on. I cant say that I would have liked the other route better though cause this one is pretty great.

Answer 3

Well sure having a child will change everything. Sometimes for the better others for the worse. Everything that you think was important before a baby will disappear and you will relize the real important things in life. Unfortunatly if you are not ready for that baby that comes along, both financial and emotionally, then your life will get very tuff. It may be increadably hard for some people to go back to school or work after a baby because financialy they are straped.
Alot of times people are in a no win situation, they work just to pay daycare or dont work and its a repeating cycle. And although the long road is very bumpey and sometimes they may feel like they are going to drive off the cliff, most parents once they have their child, love them more then life itself.

My son was born when I was 19, I was in school and working at the time towards an awsome career. I did not plan on becoming pregnate, and the actions leading up to it were not by my choice. When I found out I was pregnate sure I was scared but at the very same time I knew the tiny life insde me was probably scared too. When he was born and I held him for the first time, I was completly in love and there would have been nothing I wouldn't have done for him.

He was diagnosed with cancer, and the battle we fought was a very hard road. I stoped school worked just too suport us and spent weeks and months from hospital to hospital. He passed away and my whole world cumbled. It may not have seemed like a good life to others and it sure was messy but I never regreted having him, other then seeing him in pain. What I went though was besides the point because just looking into thier eyes will bring more joy then anything else in this whole entire world.
So I guess although some parents are not ready to have a child, most wouldn't trade it for the world.

Answer 4

It would be really embarassing to admit that having children is a bad idea. It also is a very difficult thing to do.
Some people would say that because having children is a HUGE deal that should not be taken lightly. Many people do not think through having children and what it entails. Many peolple do not step up to the plate and deal with their responsibillities and make the best of it. having children is a life altering experience with out a doubt. but it can be rewarding. parenthood is bittersweet. and there are many lessons to be learned, good and bad. it is also important to remember that children do not ask to be born and parents should try very hard not to take their frustrations out on them. they are innocent.
however if this question is pertaining to something your parent might have said to you, well, your parent is projecting his or her bad decisions in life on to you. their failures are a result of their own bad choices and have absolutely nothing to do with what you did as a child. and by saying they never regret having children, well, they are trying to save face and not look like an ***. the truth is that they really should NEVER regret it, because a child enriches a life always. and they should be lucky that they had that experience.

Answer 5

I would never say i regret having my children. Im not saying all people are fit to be parents i struggle daily being a mother of 4 but couldnt imagine life without them. And maybe people wont admit they made a bad decision because then the child would feel unwanted or like they were a mistake. Its hard but i love them and i dont regret them life can be a struggle with or without kids but im happy i have mine.

Answer 6

From a mom of 5, kids are an up and down rollercoaster of excitement and sheer terror. So maybe...(me being positive) some people do not know how to say things correstly. My children have made my life extreamly hard but that does not mean for one minute that I wish I did not have them. You can get any addition to your life that can change it and make it harder that is all part of the cycle of life. A house that needs repair, a job you hate, the wrong career, bad inlaws....etc.. these are just choices you can change but your children are a part of you and some people do not know how to vent their frustrations and keep their wording seperate from those other things., Children are a unique part of life that you really can not put into words sometimes.

Answer 7

Think of it this way, in some cases people may feel this way.
Example: lets say you go ski diving- you fall and break six bones in your body and you are in a small coma- none the less you still had a blast and although you could have went without the cuts and broken bones you would do it all over again! Thats how some feel about kids.

Answer 8

When you have children, they become your whole world and a good parent would do absolutely anything to protect them.

The decision to have/adopt children is not a bad one. It's the timing of when you choose to have children that is.

Answer 9

I agree with you. My mom has pretty much ruined her life because she can barely support her family (herself and her children, there's no dad in the picture). She complains about the kids, but she flips out when I say something about her not having them. I think it's partially because parents grow attached to their children, and because its really hard for people to admit they made a mistake (especially such a large one). I really wish we had population control. Maybe something like two children tops, only to those who have the money to support them!

Answer 10

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