Okay my hubby and I have only been married for a year and a half. He is in the army an is currently overseas. My sister in law is going on 19 and was seeing a guy who is old enough to be her father. Anyway, she called me today telling me that she needed to talk to me about something important. I call her back and we talked and then she has the nerve to say to me that she is going to move in with me. She didnt even ask me if it was okay. She just assumes that she is going to move in. and then after that she has the nerve to ask me if she could borrow $20.
I am sorry, but she is 19. I think it is about time she got herself a job. She graduates from highschool supposedly in 2-3 weeks.
I dont want her moving in w/me because I am trying to take care of my own life. I have enough stress dealing with my husband being gone and having to care for my animals and such. And my sister in law is one of those type who live off of other people to get by in life. Help me! Am I a bad person?
2007-04-26 13:29:48 · 9 answers · asked by Katherine S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She is living with her cousin at the moment. And She doesnt plan on ever living on her own or ever getting a job. She keeps on having excuses like she cant do it or blah blah blah. Yet she expects to come here and live with me and will expect for me to buy her, her cigs, and take her places and for her to sit on her *** while I am out working and trying to support me and my husband. I am too young to deal with this crap! I am only 22 1/2. I really want to call her back and tell her she cant move in here especially after her not asking me about it first. But how do I tell her with out hurting her feelings?
2007-04-26 13:47:30 · update #1
The reason why she is not with this father aged boyfriend of hers is because he is now in jail for reasons I dont even know.
Plus I talked to a neighbor/friend of mine about her and she told me that since I live on a military base she is not allowed to live with me. Because she is not a dependent and I cant add her to the lease because she is not considered immediate family to the government. Plus she has to have a military ID to even get on the base or some sort of government ID and she doesnt even have that I dont think.
Thank you all for your advice on this. I am just going to tell her straight out that she is not moving in with me and that is how it is going to be and if she doesnt like it, then tough. She wants to be treated like an independent adult then she can get off of her lazy a... and get a job.
2007-04-26 15:17:37 · update #2
Seriously, I would not even think twice, I would tell her "No way are you moving in with me" then I would tell her "and no way am I giving you 20 dollars" Then stick to it and keep as much distance from the little moocher as you can!!
2007-04-26 13:39:22 · answer #1 · answered by clbinmo 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a bad news situation and you have the perfect excuse to refuse her. What your friend told you about military leases is true. You can only have guests stay for so long before you have to report them to the housing office and then they have to be out by a certain time too. The time periods can vary from base to base and some bases are lax in enforcing the rules but they are there and give you a perfect reason to refuse your SIL's request.
2007-04-26 16:09:40 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where are her parents and why isn't she with them? Why can't this man who is old enough to be her father take her in? Could he be married? I be telling her straight up I can't afford you to live with me. I have enough of a hard time supporting myself. I will not be giving you money and I will not allow you to move in here with me sorry about your luck go home to your parents or get a job! Don't worry about hurting her feelings because you need to look out for yourself.
2007-04-26 14:27:28 · answer #3 · answered by Kathleen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No your not a bad person! She has NO right just barging in and takin over your life! I think you should get in contact with your husband and decide how best to deal with this! Mayb just lending her some money for rent on an apartment and then making sure she gets a job and persues it and make sure she pays you back! This girl or "woman" has to learn responsibility!
2007-04-26 13:40:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
She's 19 and still in High School? Isn't that old to be in High School? Anyway, You're not a bad person, confront her and flat out tell her that she is not moving in with you and as far as mooching the $20 tell her to get a job.
2007-04-26 13:49:50 · answer #5 · answered by Gold Digger 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her you're going to do the best thing anyone's ever done for her -- make her stand on her own two feet. Tell her to get a job, find a roommate and pay rent. You are not her parent and you are not responsible for her. Sometimes saying "NO" is the kindest thing you can do for a family member (or anyone).
2007-04-26 14:07:42 · answer #6 · answered by frustratedmama 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Did she worry about hurting your feelings?
No, she didn't.
Just tell her you can't have her live with you. It won't work out. You can't do it. Don't give her any reasons, just keep repeating that you can't. If you give her a reason, she'll argue about it. Don't get mad or argue, just tell her. That is the polite way to do it. You can even apologize: you're sorry, but you just can't.
Don't give her the key.
2007-04-26 14:45:37 · answer #7 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to go in to detail since it's your prvacy see needs to disrupt!
Simply tell her its not going to work. If she pushes you tell her NO!
2007-04-26 13:54:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no - you are not bad - tell her she cannot move in with you - list your reasons - all else fails call the police
2007-04-26 13:44:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋