whats the rudest joke you know ?

Answer 1

Well this isn't that "rude but anyways

One day a boy was late for class, he comes in with no shirt on. The teacher asks"where have you been?" He says"i was on top of cherry Hill"
A second boy comes in with no pants on. the teacher asks"where have you been?" he answers "on top of cherry hill"
A third boy comes in just wearing socks. The teacher ask "where have you been? "on top of cherry hill" he replies
Now that everyone is present the teacher decides to introduce a new student. A girl walks in and says "Hi, my name is Cherry Hill"

Answer 2

I can't post the rudest one I know because it's just tooo rude and I don't want to offend anyone. So instead I'll post one of my favourites...

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a kid?
Yeah
Oh, because he was here the other day looking for you!

Answer 3

The most renowned rudest joke in the world is called "The Aristocrats". Take my word for it, bad taste doesn't cover it and its not for the faint hearted; check out the below link. Warning, I mean its BAD TASTE!

Answer 4

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".

Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fall off.
one more .....
A nun gets into a cab and the driver keeps staring at her through the rear view mirror. "You know, Sister," the cab driver says, "I hope you aren't too offended, but I've always had this fantasy of getting a ******* from a nun."

The nun thinks for a moment and says, "I'm not too offended. I just have two requirements. One, that you be single, and two, that you be Catholic."

"Oh yes, Sister, I am single and Catholic," the cab drive replies, so they pull into an alley and the nun proceeds to satisfy the cab driver orally. After they're done, the cab driver begins laughing.

"What's so funny?" the nun asks. "Ha ha!" the cab driver annnounces, "I fooled you sister. The truth is I'm really married and I'm Jewish!"

"That's okay," the nun replies, "My name is Bob and I'm on my way to a fancy dress party."

rude..or ..bad !!!!

Answer 5

Here are my favorites:

...please don't be offended:

(1)Here's one that's a bit vulger and long:

There's a trucker driving along the highway in Nevada, and he starts to get really horny. He then sees a sign for a Brothel (whore house) 10 miles away. He begins to get very excited when he spots a note at the bottom of the sign which says: "Beware of Sandpaper Sally." He thinks this is a bit wierd but keeps driving and gets hornier and hornier. He finally gets to the Brothel, throws money down on the table, and says: "I want a whore." to which a woman repeats: "Okay, but the only girl we have left is Sally." He decides to take the offer and runs up to the room he's told Sally is in. He opens the door and sees the prettiest blond he's ever seen in his life, throws her down on the bed and procedes to have his way with her when he notices that she is a bit rough and dry down there. He asks what's wrong with her and she gets up and goes to the bathroom. She comes back and they start again. He says that it feels great and asks what she did. To which she replies:"I picked the scabs."

(2)Here's another:

Two guys are sitting at the bar, guy 1 turns to guy 2 and says, "I f*cked your mom!"
The bar goes silent, and everyone turns and looks at the two guys.
Once again guy 1 says, "I f*cked your mom!"
To which guy 2 replies, "Shut up dad, you're drunk."

(3)...and another:

There's a man walking through the desert with only his camel, when suddenly he gets the urge to have sex. Seeing that there's no one around, he tries to screw the camel, but it runs off. He runs and catches up to it and the man and his camel keep treking through the desert, when all of a sudden he gets the urge again. The man tries to have his way with the camel again, and once again it runs off. He catches up again and they keep walking until they get to a road where he sees a car broken down. The man goes up to the car and sees three of the most breath taking young women he's ever seen in his life, and asks if he can help. The women say that if the man can fix their car that they'll do ANYTHING for him, so he takes a look at their car and gets it running. Stunned, the young women ask what he would like them to do. To which the man replies, "Can you hold my camel?"

(4)One more:

Three men get snowed in at a ski resort and have to get a room. When they get to the room, they notice that there is only one bed. They figure that this isn't a problem and that they'll share the bed. They wake up the next morning and the man sleeping on the right side of the bed said, "I had the best dream that this beautiful woman was jerking me off all night!"
The man who slept on the left side of the bed said, "That's wierd, I had the same dream!"
To which the man who slept in the middle replied, "Uh oh... I had a dream that I was skiing!"

Answer 6

Here are four rude jokes. I have a lot more, but I don't want anyone to know how rude I really can be.


Where did you get your haircut, PetSmart?


Who lit the fuse on your Tampon?


You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.


If I had been Abraham Lincoln, I wouldn't have freed you bastards!

Answer 7

ill condense this one...
3 men are off to war however they are worried that their wives will cheat.
The wealthier of the three puts a chastity belt on his wife
The middle class guy puts his wife in a cage
The poor guy puts a band aid on his wifes vagina

so after three years the men return home, all ready for a night of passion.
The wealthy man unlocks the chastiy belt on his wife, shes all good.
The middleclass guy releases his wife outta her cage, she seems fine too.
The poor guy takes the band aid off his wifes vagina and looks in horror.
His wife apologetcally says" Im sorry hon but it's healed over"

Answer 8

It's ethnic and vulgar, insert whatever race you desire,
Q: How does a ________ Mother know when her daughters on the rag?
A: Her son's Prick tastes like sh_t.

Answer 9

Did you hear about the Pollock and the 10 pound booger?






His head caved in before he could eat it all.

EWWWWWWWWWWW!

Answer 10

Q.What's the difference between a nine volt battery and a women's asshole?

A. You know it's wrong but sooner or later you're gonna put your tongue on it...