We are both 20 years old and have been dating for 3 years. We didn't start having sex until a month into the relationship, we both liked this idea. Once we started, we'd have sex about 4 times a week, we did this for a few months, then it became slightly less. Now you ask? I'm lucky to make love with my girlfriend once every two weeks, I will also add there are no days we do "other sexual stuff" in between, because she never wants to. May I ask what the heck is going? We're both in love and very dedicated to each other. I can trust her and she can trust me. We both do not party or drink so we never put ourselves in harm's way. I know I'm not bad at what I'm doing because I've read many books on the subject and am excellent at the important stuff in the bedroom. The problem is, she has let it known that she wants to be married to me. I would like to marry her, but if this is happening already than I feel that I am doomed. I'm not shallow because I enjoy making love to my girlfriend.
2007-04-26 12:26:09 · 8 answers · asked by Calvin H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sex is an important part of any relationship married or not. Some want to put a lesser value on sex but unfortunately sex is one of the biggest things that breaks up a relationship. Women who think cutting out sex thinking it will make there boyfriend marry them are in for a surprise. The downside for a relationship like yours is the girlfriend thinks you should be happy with whatever sex you get but it just doesn't work that way. Sex or love making is what brings closeness in a relationship and without it couple will eventually drift apart.
Best thing to do is talk to her and let her know your not happy with the way things are in your sex life. Her reaction will tell you everything. Does she want to talk about it and find way's together to improve your sex life or does she have that "oh well" attitude. If its the latter then you have issues that might not improve and you will have to make serious decisions about your relationship and where its going. Would you be satisfied will little or no sex in a married situation from the way you wrote your question I seriously doubt it......
2007-04-26 12:56:36 · answer #1 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No no honey, that is not being shallow. The fact is, over time relationships get "comfortable" and sex is not as high on the priority list as it used to be. Honestly she sounds like a really good girl. She just doesn't want to base your relationship on sex.
2007-04-26 12:31:46 · answer #2 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked her?
Have you tried spicing things up, or is it just the same routine, same positions, same same same?
There is no real answer to this, it could be a multitude of possibilities. The simplest is just that she's lost interest for the most part, or she's just holding it out there on a stick leading you to the altar.
You really need to talk to her about this.
2007-04-26 12:32:00 · answer #3 · answered by Ch4plain 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to confront her about it.
Maybe she doesn't even notice...? Sex generally isn't as much a "need" to females as it is to males.
Have you done anything to effect her mood lately? As in, have you pissed her off or done something to upset her? Because when a woman is upset about something, the last thing she feels like is sex, usually. Especially if you are the cause of her feelings.
Ultimately, I would talk to her about it directly. Relationships are all about communication. :) Good luck!
2007-04-26 12:36:30 · answer #4 · answered by SuperVictoria64 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmmm. Maybe she doesn't feel validated by you any more. Flowers, a card, a note, a restaurant meal, expressing how you feel about her, a weekend away, and compliments all help a woman feel good about herself and her man. Being taken for granted is a death knell to a woman. Go somewhere different together.
2007-04-26 12:33:04 · answer #5 · answered by beez 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wise to hesitate to marry due to this issue. Chances are the sex would eventually dwindle down to nothing.
Get couples counseling and see if you two can determine where the passion went, and if it can be re-ignited. If it cannot, then you'll have to decide if that's a deal breaker or not.
2007-04-26 12:29:56 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she's forgotten how attractive sexually she is to you, best get started reminding her. Give her a week vacation somewhere that you two can get the sizzle again. Where would she go to do this? Ask.
2007-04-26 12:36:39 · answer #7 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should ask her if she's noticed that you two are doing it a lot less, and see what she says. maybe ask her why that might be happening. maybe she's stressed about something going on in her life...
2007-04-26 12:30:57 · answer #8 · answered by bunniek420 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋