Will I ever find myself?

Question

I feel like everyone in my life expects something different of me, which I feel leads me to not being able to do the things I want. But then...I don't even know what the things I want are. I also feel like I won't ever get a guy that will like me for me. I'm not trying to sound conceited, but I'm not unattractive. I almost sometimes wish that I was so that I could find someone I felt really liked me for me. I feel like both of these issues have led me to not knowing who I am. What can I do?

Answer 1

It's totally natural - we all go through times in our life, like that. Everyone moves at their own pace and finds themselves at different periods of their life. It's all about trying new things and experimenting to see what you like and don't like, and what your true passions in life are.

And don't worry! Guys will come. :D Just try to be patient.

Answer 2

People's expectations are something we have to get used to fast, for they always will be lots of expectations regarding a person's life. You sound pretty enough and that my dear friend is an asset you should be able to take to the bank over and over. By that I mean, that whatever is beatiful in you should never be compromised by people's expectations of your person. A great teacher once told me: "When in doubt alwyays be of service" Which means that while you put two and two together as to who you really are and what you want to accomplish in your life you could volunteer to help others in your community. Service always provide benefits, like for example, the moment you stop thinking about your problems or personal expectations about your own self and give yourself to a worthy and caring cause, the answers that at first appeared to be evading you can become readily available to you. You do not sound conceited, if anything you sound very real and I can assure that by doing what is right your path will cross with someone that will love you and treasure you as much as you ever wanted. Like Frank Zappa said in a song, "You are what you is and that's all it is" The sooner you start to reach out for the good of others the sooner your world will shine like the bright sun. Being attractive is wonderful and you should feel no less for being so but the real secret is this: Being attractive in the inside beats phisical beauty anytime of the day. But when you are both, attractive on the outside and in the inside you are a welcome sight to these modern times in which we live. Hang in there, keep your spirit refreshed by helping others to feel better and you'll be surprised how many nice things will happen to you at once. You sound like a very nice person so please enough with the self defeating questions and commence the good work. If you play music play for some sick children at your local children's hospital, if you cook offer your talents to an organization that feeds the needy, if you are funny go to a senior center and make everyone laugh, there are endless ways you can enrich the life of others and in the process and most definitely make yours as bright as a shinning star. Do remember the nicest person you still have not met is right around the corner, all it takes is an open heart and and positive steps. Hope it helped a little, wish you my very best.

Answer 3

Loved wakawaka's answer and pyro's answer.....

Don't worry....don't force the answers....it takes time to know what we really want sometimes.....somethings only happen with time. For now....make a list of things you want to do, you want to learn....or how u wanna be. If you are not sure, try different things....and see how you feel. I agree, expectations from others are sometimes part of our lives....for example....our families expectations....but keep a balance and dont let it overpower you. If something is important to you, you shd talk it out with the people who expect different, and tell them how you feel. Life is not all smooth for anybody. We all have a many challenges we face everyday.....even the most beautiful people face challenges. It all depends on how you handle things. What's most important is that you like yourself. That you have faith that you can reach out more and more to be who you are, and are worthy of love. If there are certain things you feel you can improve on, work on them. We will always be a 'work in progress'.....so dont be too hard on yourself.

And remember, life's about the journey....not the destination. So make the most of each day...
Try to appreciate each moment...and what it is offering.
Ur life is like a canvas....your own personal canvas....and you can color it any way you want.

Be your own best friend no matter what.

People can come and go, but you will always have you.

Answer 4

I think that u will find the person of ur drams someday, because u are a valuable person that deserves to find someone that loves her.The thing that u shuld never forget to do is to not feel lke u are less than someone, because if u feel that way and u act that way people will step on u and will make u feel less,so stand up for urself and tell urself u are a valuable person and that u are have the sme value as other people. Don't let ur self esteem let u down, and also don't live by doing what everybody in this world want u to be or yo do, just be urself, don't try to be perfect, because perfection doesn't exist. Live ur life to its fullesg, because u only have one, enjoy it, be happy, but just try to be a good person (not a perfect one).

GOOD LUCK,because growing up is not easy, so ljust take things soft, don't thik sooooo much about ur life or else u are going to end up not enjoying it.

Answer 5

First there are certain things in live that we MUST do even if we don't want to. So do a check of yourself and see if any of those things that "people expect" fall into that category.
Next You will Never know "who you are". Because that changes as you get older. But to know who you are at this time in your life, you have to try different things to know if you will like them or not. As you discover what you do and don't like that will help define "who you are". If you like dogs but not cats, or you are not hot on animals, Do not be afraid to say so. But don't say "I don't Like that" if you have never tried it. You need to decide how you feel about things in order for someone else to know "who you are"
As for finding a guy, once you have figured out who you are and what you are interested in then you will find a guy with similar interests.
Always be happy with your self, make wise choices of friends and who you surround yourself with and you will end up happy.
As the old saying goes: How can anyone else love me when I don't love myself?

Answer 6

You need to try anything and everything. If you don't know what things you want, you need to try things to see if you want them or not.

Take up horseback riding. You may like it and you may not. At least you can say you tried.

Jump out of a plane. (Personally I would never do it.) I've heard it's a great experience.

Once you find yourself, you'll be able to find a guy that will like you for you. But you also need to try a few of them because your taste might change over time.

Answer 7

For starters how can a guy get to know the real you when you dont know it yourself (typical female reasoning :P). As for finding yourself you probally have been changing yourself to fit in.

Perhaps you should concider going back to basics starting with the things you like and dislike. Rome wasnt built in a day and your way too young to worry about things like this.

Im not quite sure what the original problem is, but this seems to be a symptom of it :/

Answer 8

You will find yourself in time. The problem is that you need to stop living up to other's expectations, and live up to your own. You don't have to decide what you want to do, or what you want to be, or who you want to be immediately. Some people take all their life before realizing who they are. But you have to try to be honest with yourself. That's the one thing that everything else will be supported by.

Honesty, and Faithfulness to yourself. If you cannot do that, you will not be able to find yourself or do what truly makes yourself happy. You and everyone deserves to be happy; with themselves, and with their life, with their future.

Start off at the beginning and work your way up from there. Start with simple things, simple ideas, simple plans, simple decisions, and grow as a person and become who you want to be.

Answer 9

Don't worry, I felt the same way. I am a twenty-seven year old woman, that has just realized what it is that I want to do with my life. You should think of what it is that makes you happy and go with it. If it when you go on vaction, being around children, or helping others, go with it and the rest will fall in place. You may become a pychologist, travel agent, or child care provider, and meet your dream man there, who knows. Take a small step, and trust me, you will float the rest of the way.

Answer 10

As MUCH AS I HATE TO SAY THIS:

Looks do matter. It's what gets people to talk to you. If you really hate the way you look like, if your too fat for example, exercise. Exercise because you want change and hate the way you look. Do it for a cause.

Then is the biggest part. Heart. Have a good compassionate/understanding/Caring/Loving heart at all times. Good and Bad times.

Finally. Find someone that shares views of life the same as you (Basically likes doing the same things as you do)

Answer 11

well, i felt the same way, i grew up doing what ppl expected of me so i never really felt challenged and was confused as to what I wanted
Whenever you do anything, ask yourself why ur doing it and when u know why, is it the right reason? b/c YOU want?
as for the guy thing, dont worry about it. love will come when u dont expect it. chatting online w/o pics is a good way for someone to like you for you but then again i think we ALL know how those things turn out..."no thanks" to that lol