I laugh when I read the question, but I am serious. I have never had any problems making friends when I was a sinner, but now that i am born again I have had the hardest time meeting new people (I am NOT talking about meeting someone to date). People who know me describe me as being friendly, and I am not a shy person.
Your initial response to this question may be "meet them at church", and believe me, that was the first place I went. My church has around 5,000 members and several different fellowship groups. I have joined one (directed to my age group 20-30 year olds) and after several months I still have not made any new friends. I thank all of you for your great answers in advance.
2007-04-26 11:46:02 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
To the person that asked... no, I have not stopped being friends with the friends I had before I was saved, unfortunately some of them stopped dealing with me. I do still have some of my original gang... it would just be nice to have some Christian friends as well.
2007-04-26 11:54:59 · update #1
It's tough to make close Christian friends when you are saved as an adult because of several factors. First of all, usually adults that move to a new place make friends with other adults because they break the ice with some liquor or something like that. Since most Christians are not into the "bar scene" you have to find other areas of common interest.
I was saved about 5 years ago and I know hundreds of Christian by first name and have a lot of their phone numbers and they are always happy to see me and talk with me for a little bit when we run into each other at church or some place else. But most of them already have a spouse, and friends that they made years ago when they were younger, and so it's not like they feel the need or have a lot of time to devote to developing a close friendship with an additional person.
Maybe if you volunteer to serve in an outreach ministry or something like that you will find some friends. Why don't you pray about it and ask the Lord to hook you up with just one friend because one good friend is a great blessing and usually once you make a friend you get introduced to their circle of friends and make more.
2007-04-27 01:44:01 · answer #1 · answered by Martin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Melanie,
You sound serious enough, and friendly enough to me. It's a very good question.
The first thing I wanted to tell you was to "Pray". Of course that's always a good step as the first step, but then, something else came to my mind.
How did you get saved? Somebody talked to you right? If you do the same thing, talk to others, and tell them about Jesus, and what He's done for you, and what He can do for them, no matter HOW incapable or UN-prepared you feel, those you lead to Him will be immeasureable greatful to you! They will also be your friends Eternally! (Think about it!) And those people from the Church who would be willing to join you in such an endeavor -the Bible calls it "witnessing" (Acts 1:8) -are probably also worthwhile to have as friends. If they WON'T come, go anyway! That's where I've met some of my most precious friends. Have fun making friends!!
(later)
Probably NO-one who's not willing to do this themselves will encourage you to do it, but the Lord said you will be greeted with "Well done thou good and FAITHFUL servant!"
Also the proverbs say "A man (or woman, Ha!) who will have friends must show himself friendly."
That you are!
2007-04-26 12:18:29 · answer #2 · answered by Sionarra 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Melanie. I have been going to a Pentecostal church ( not oneness ) for about 9 months now. I think we have around 600 or 700 members, not as big as yours. The people there are just wonderful. Loving, friendly, and caring. I have not exactly made friends there, as I always considered people to be friends before.
When I used to drink, smoke weed, and party a lot, it seems like there were always 'friends' around. As soon as I started living my life differently, and striving to please God, and became dedicated to Christ, that all stopped. My 'friends' quit coming around. I might still have enough of them to count on one hand, but even they do not come around anymore.
In studying God's word, I have found out that this is a good thing. Separation from unrighteousness is a necessary part of your salvation.
I am quite a bit older than you, I am 46.
I never really made friends easily, because I was deep enough into the world beneath the cotton-candy world that most people would like to believe that we live in to know that there are those out there that need only the opportunity to present itself to take whatever they can from you. People are evil, for the most part. Many cloak themselves as good people, but are not.
I do have one or two close friends, though.
I will try to make friends at church eventually. I still just enjoy the difference in life, and the love shown to me by these people that hardly know me.
My point is that God will work it out for you and for me. I am pretty busy, as I have a business to run, so I have so little time to devote to a friend, anyway. I suppose that for now, I will busy myself trying to nurture my relationship with Jesus and with God the Father. They are my best friends, anyway.
Smile, Jesus loves you. Love in Christ. D.
2007-04-26 12:11:54 · answer #3 · answered by Darryl L 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are a variety of ways you can meet and interact with other women such as conferences, ladies fellowships, church activities like being in the choir or teaching a women's class, and etc.
I believe in life that we make a lot of acquaintances, but if a person can find one really true friend who will accept us with all our faults and idocyncrasies it is a great thing.
If you have any of your old friends that still want to be friends with you it is a good idea to keep in touch. You may have the opportunity to share Christ with them.
The first thing you can do is ask God to help you in this area.
He is more interested in our relationships than we are since they can either hinder us in our walk with Him or help us.
God bless you in your search. You will succeed! God won't fail you in anything you trust Him with.
2007-04-26 11:53:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hello, Melanie, and welcome to the family of God.
Yes, when you became a Christian, old things passed away and all things become new.
Jesus is now precious to you, and all of a sudden, the Holy Spirit will convict you of the emptiness of your previous life. With spiritual discernment God will elevate you above the cheap and vile, and instill a heavenly lifestyle in you.
Because your old friends are still in the world, you will have little in common with them. You will want to share what is so precious with them, but they will tire and avoid you--that is fine, because if you follow their ways, you will be back where you were before.
In your church family, the way to make friends is to be one. Invest time in others, offer to help them, listen to their conversations and needs. Volunteer to do errands and help them where needed. And, of course, participate in fellowshoip activities by your church, whether it be a "scavenger hunt", or valleyball.
When you marry, marry a Christian friend. I'm certain you have heard the "don't be unequally yoked" quotation, but it goes deeper than that, You must date and marry someone who shares your ideas and goals. If you are a conservative christian, then associate with that kind of person. And if you can't find what you approve of, Please don't evangelist date--that mean marry an unbeliever with the thoguht you'll convert him. King Solomon did that, and he fell to their religions. So, it is better NEVER TO MARRY THAN TO MARRY AN INFIDEL.
My wife and I visited an elderly family after church--they invited us home. While there I realized he had alzheimers disease. I told my wife: "They need us for friends." She agreed, so we started makiing dinner dates with them. He got worse and we were there during his sickness and death--a real comfort for a heartbroken widow. We still visit her and take her to dinner. She grieves and we comfort--at 88 she won't have long to live, and we will be there so she doesn't have to die alone.
Above all, Melony, Jesus is your new friend and companion. He will never tire of hearing your problems and needs. Be faithful to Him even though family and friends leave--Jesus will never forsake you.
By the way, you will want to search deeper things of His Word, and there is a secret Bible code, sealed until the end of the days. You can read a book about it free Online at www.revelado.org/revealed.htm
And if you need a friend, send us a Yahoo mail, just click on my info icon.
Blessings, your FRIEND in Christian love, One-Way and Ticlesh
2007-04-26 12:08:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your on the right track keep meeting young Christians go to places you know that Christian people gather for bible studies. the Junior college in your area probably has Christian get together that the college put on for groups. Look for people where you work that is how I met several Christian believers they were reading their bibles and I started talking about the Lord to them. Also try praying about it the Lord will direct you to believers if you are sincere in your heart about it.
2007-04-26 11:55:19 · answer #6 · answered by setfree 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The internet is not the best place for it. Here all real connections are stifled by unknown distance. Keep talking to the people in your church. Don't feel discouraged just because you haven't made any friends yet. Give the Spirit time to work in you and in your group. If you call on Him, He will not refuse--but only give Him time. I will pray for you to settle in better.
God's peace.
2007-04-26 11:52:58 · answer #7 · answered by Heloise 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
From my experience Christians have cliques like everybody else. Find your interest, whether it be choir/worship team, kitchen help, prayer group, outreach etc. and join that group and friendships will naturally flow.
2007-04-26 12:08:46 · answer #8 · answered by me 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
samething happened to me. God met me in a supernatrual way and church people and pastor put religion on me.
ask God to lead you to the right church with the real believers. He saved you and He will lead you too if you pray and ask.
I will pray that God lead you and place you in HIs body.
2007-04-26 13:21:11 · answer #9 · answered by Hamzeh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To have a friend is to be a friend ...My friends of old stopped calling me when I became saved an quit drugs . Nice friends huh ?
2007-04-26 12:28:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋