What would happen to my child if I was to die?

Question

I was up all night last night thinking about what would happen if i was to die. I am a single mom and have a daughter who is 6. I split from her Father when she was 18 months and since then he hasn't bothered to visit her or pay anything to her upkeep. He still knows where i live as i have regular contact with his other children from his previous marriage with whom he speaks to on the phone. My concern is that if anything were to happen to me, my daughter would have to go and live with her father, a total stranger who has shown no intrest in her in the past 5 years. I have no issues with him having contact with her, god knows i've tried to make this happen, but i cant imagine what it would be like for my daughter to have to live with somone she does not know. We have both been living with my parents since the seperation and she adores them and visa versa, is there anything i could put in place to make them her gaurdians if i were to die, i believe it would be in her best intrests.

my daughter knows who her real father is and i have never stopped him from seeing her. infact it upsets me to know that he is still in contact with his other children but cannot take the time to see my daughter.

Answer 1

In all honesty you cant change the way her father thinks, or the way that he acts towards your daughter.One day though he will deeply regret his actions and wish he had been different towards her(believe me!) (But that is his problem and he will have to deal with it) Your problem is that you worry about your daughters future should you not be around to take care of her......... (i had similar thing going on with my children a long time ago,when i got all morbid about the future) What i did, and maybe you could also do is to go to a solicitor and make a will stating who you would like your child's legal guardian to be should anything happen to you,then you will at least have peace of mind knowing that she will be with someone of you're choice who loves her and will take good care of her,should you not be around! Hope this helps a little bit! Good luck!

Answer 2

I'm a single mum and only last year had a bit of a health scare and the very same question was on my mind, at present im assuming that you have sole custody so you need to make a will expressing your wishes, and like you didn't want my son going to live with his dad and his **** of a girlfriend taking my place and what i learned was when your dead there is f***all you can do from the grave, if you could talk to the father and actually ask what he would do - you know would he want custody, i know its hard but it may make things clearer and with respect to your daughter she would adapt to the change children are so much tougher than us adults and talk to her about life and death not in too much detail, but to see how she sees it what her understanding of it is. Hope i haven't depressed you too much

Answer 3

Did you have your child christened , if you did then she has gardians to take care of her , my sister is in the same position as with her daughters dad , and what she did was she went to a solicitor and made a will out but one just based on her children , and if anything was to happen to my sister and her kids were still under 18 , then thay come to me not there father ,the solicitor did saythat the dad could fight this but if he hasnt had contact with the kids in a long time then basicaly he wouldnt have a chance , could just be worth going to ask a solicitor your self. good luck.
bear in mind thought wills dont really get read out till after about 3 maybe 4 months after death , maybe get something wrote up small so you can carry it round with you in your purse .

Answer 4

Do you have divorce decree naming you as having sole custody of your daughter? If not, then you need to do a little bit of legal work first. You can get an uncontested divorce in most states simply by filling out the right forms and filing them with the District Court where you live. It will vary from state to state, but it is not all that complicated. Then you can simply file a will with the County Clerk specifying your parents as Guardians in the event of your death, and then a sister, cousin, aunt or whatever in the event that you should die and your parents should also be deceased.

Answer 5

GO to your solicitor/attorney, and GET A WILL with a designation of FINANCIAL (separate) and LEGAL (call out separately) Guardian for YOUR child at this time ... DO IT NOW for your Child's Protection, as well as for your parents' protection as well.

YOU need to call out the FINANCIAL Guardianship separately from the LEGAL Guardianship (even though YOU may want the same people to be both) ... because ...

depending on this ex ... IF something happens to you, things can get REAL UGLY real FAST ... and he could LITERALLY RIP your child from the Loving Arms of your parents (who have provided for her needs all this time), just because he wants to be NASTY about it.

AND ... with FINANCIAL Guardian -- your ex will NOT get his hands on whatever you will leave for the benefit of the child -- even if you don't think you have much -- still, your furniture, your car, your things that you own ... all that can add up to a bit of money -- and he MAY COVET even this ... (especially since I've had personal experience with a Deadbeat Ex who has ALWAYS desired every bit of property I had and what I've worked for since the Divorce -- and that was finalized approximately a decade and half AGO!)

Then ... with LEGAL Guardianship .. that means you have the custodial arrangements, and the LEGAL right to register the child for school, to take her to the Doctor (to get treatment for illness/accident), etc ... that needs to be done separately.

Now ... (I hope not), IF something happens .. he MAY or MAY NOT contest parts of this will ... and yes, that is why it needs to be made now and the guardianship separated the way I stated. The Probate/Estate proceedings will have a very good idea of how you want the custody and care of your child IF you write it out NOW and do it with all the LEGAL WITNESSES in place!

GO NOW! DO IT IMMEDIATELY! If only for the protection of your child at this time.

Answer 6

You do have a little reason to be concerned, however, and I must stress this point, it's not very likely that anything is going to happen to you. If he's showed no interest in your daughter, then it's improbable that he'll demand her after your unlikely demise. See the Citizen's advice bureau or a solicitor. The CAB would be cheaper, and they're just as good. I know, I once worked for them.

Answer 7

You need to see a Solicitor and make a will in that will name who you want to be your childs guardian if anything happens to you. We did that when our son was a small child and nominated with their agreement some close family friends. It doesnt apply now as he is well past the age of needing a guardian. Its vitally important that you do this otherwise you may find she ended up with her father.

Answer 8

you need to talk to a lawyer and have his parental rights severed especially since he has had no contact with her. He may do this willingly if you ask if he has no interest in her. Then write up a will having your parents named as guardians in case of your death. He may be willing to just let your parents have her if you died i know a few men that have done this because is easier than trying to do it on their own and the child was really attached to the grandparents, then they have visitation.

Answer 9

This is going to sound really sick, but have you anything else apart from your daughter?

Let me explain - put all your wealth into a trust and make your parents trustees. Then it makes sure she is looked after monetarially (spelling!) and that he will not waste her money.

You need to speak to a solicitor about this - I think that your parents have a very good case for caring for your daughter as she lives with them, and she has no/limited contact with her father. Your parents must, of course, allow her to know her father and must understand if she decides at a later date that she wants to move in with him (but he must also understand that she may decide she wants to move back!!!)

One thing I have done is written letters to my children (I have 2) for them to open in case anything happens to me. They cover things like my first date, my first love and love in general, contraception, jobs, family health history and so on. I know from my precis that it sounds really serious but I have left them with a friend of mine, who thinks they have the right level of levity and seriousness (especially my description of my first kiss!!!)

Just remember - plan for the worst and it will never happen. but if it does, everyone is prepared!

Answer 10

You could apoint someone in a living will but he is still the father and regardless theyed be a fight if he wanted to persue it call a lawyer most will give you a free consiltation and thery could answer all the questions you have and help with a living will.