how can I stop hating what my sister did?

Question

... see my twin sister and I used to be really close, but one day I found out that she slept with my boyfriend... I felt like I wanted to die... I asked her to stop seeing him and she didn't and the idiot of my ex boy friend at the same time kept crying for me to forgive him.... It's been awhile since that happend, but I haven't been able to forgive her and I guess it's because she doesn't care about me... or at least thats what I feel... I had a relationship after that happen, but when she found out that I was watching her... she said that "it was to bad I was still in love of the idiot, because I still thought about it"... she doesn't get that it was the fact that she hurt me... I don't know what to do, because as my twin we had a cool realtionship and that bond that we used to have is not the same... I don't want to hate my sister, but I don't know how to leave this in the past... what should I do?

Answer 1

i'am a twin too and if my sister ever did that to me ,it would be hard to forgive but you have to. that's your sister. your going to need eachother someday and if you let this go to long it could go on forever. you need to have a heart to heart talk with her and get everything out in the open no matter how much it hurts. it will all work out in the long run. especially don't let some simple idiot break you guys up.

Answer 2

Wow, I am so sorry that happened to you! I can only imagine how you feel. My boyfriend cheated on me, too, but I didn't know the girl, thank God. It's much more difficult to get passed this when it's someone so close to you that hurt you so bad. It is going to be very hard, but you have to try and forgive her. No matter what you think right now, she is your sister and you need her in your life. If she regrets it and wants your forgiveness, then try your hardest to let it all go. If she doesn't care and thinks you're wrong for still being upset, then forget about her. It's her loss. She should understand why you are so upset. Either way, I wish you all the luck in the world. Just be strong and you can get through this....

Answer 3

Can I be totally honest?
I think she wanted to hurt you. I think she still wants to hurt you. I don't know why, maybe she doesn't even know why. But that's what I think. Maybe your relationship wasn't as cool as you thought? She's probably jealous of you in some way. It's perfectly natural to be very very angry with her, and to be hurt by what she did. And she's not helping if she doesn't think it was any big deal. Speaking as someone with a brother that acts this way (not sleeping with my boyfriend, but just sort of malicious), you're not going to get any closure or satisfaction from her. The best thing you can do for yourself is just TRY to forgive her, while NOT FORGETTING what she did. If she says something like "it's too bad you still think about it" just say something like "I don't think about it, and I'm not in love with him. I just remember much you don't care what I want or what I think, and how I can't trust you. If you were trustworthy, then I wouldn't have to watch you."
Of course, if it was me, I wouldn't say it quite so nicely. The words "backstabber", "traitor", "not my sister", and a few names I can't type here come to mind.

Answer 4

Sisters are forever---This guy, well she did you a favor believe it or not, he is not the one--be glad you found out early. The real guy of yours would not consider her--believe this. Your sister done you wrong-make her pay, just understand she is immature, eventually forgive the ditz cause shes blood ( remember she is cheap and stupid) and don't ever think of her different and you'll love her as she is. Growing up is realizing people don't always live up to your expectations, hell life is alot of rolling with the punches, unless you don't have a conscious like many you describe.

Answer 5

Is there someone in your lives who can monitor a discussion between your sister and you? A mature adult might be able to explain to your sister the significance of placing value on your relationship with one another.
Find a mature adult in your family to discuss this with, maybe your sister is not listening to you but a party that cares about both of you might be able to penetrate her thinking.
The mature adult doesn't need to know that the relationship was sexual, they need to know that your sister was not very sisterly when it came to a guy that you were dating.For some reason or another, your sister seems to be competing with you
You guys need to clear the air because one day your children will be cousins and the tow of you will want to be friends for their sake. I wish you well, twins ought to be one another's best friend.

Answer 6

I know it must be hard... but you need to think what is best in your life... a relationship with your sister or maybe lose it for ever, and then like they say..." it might be to late". You might never forget that she hurt you that way... but it's your blood and one day, when she grows up and somebody does it to her, maybe a close friend... then she will be sorry for the rest of her life... everything in this life comes back to ya... so try to take it of your heart, may be give her a 2 chance, give yourself a 2 chance to trust her...

Answer 7

Um, she sounds like a sociopath, no offense. She did something that she knew was going to hurt you, but obviously didn't care. It doesn't matter if your ex bf apologizes because he is disposable. However, your twin literally screwed up your life and has yet to apologize for it! I say snub her until she apologizes! It's horrible and cruel, but you can't let her walk all over you jsut because she is family!

Answer 8

i'm assuming your older than her. What my brother and that i did replaced into attempt and discover some ordinary floor, and not plenty make finished peace, yet a peace of types, which you would be able to tolerate her. My brother used to make cracks at me in front of hos acquaintances yet i'd purely make some remark lower back or blow it off. We additionally took up bokken (wood swords) practice, the place the unhappiness is vented and permit verbal replace get by way of. (additionally extremely a sturdy workout consultation)

Answer 9

Try to forgive her for YOURSELF. Don't let this eat at you. Keep willing yourself to feel forgiveness. Maybe she does not deserve it, but the resentment you feel will hurt you more than it does her. Just keep willing yourself to let it go. If you believe in God, pray for Him to help you forgive.

Answer 10

You have to try and forgive her. Your obviously the better half. Just be the bigger person and try to forgive.