i don't believe in abortion. killing an inocent baby doesn't do it for me. i still live with my parents, the father isn't ready to be a dad, and my parents don't know. when my parents find out they will want me to put the baby up for adoption and i want to keep it.
2007-04-26 09:42:28 · 13 answers · asked by Black dragon 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i've been in two foster homes in my life, both were hard for me. i was adopted by the last one but the problems were still there. i don't want my baby to think i abandoned it.
2007-04-26 10:16:23 · update #1
Most adoptees will tell you they don't feel abandoned. If adoption is an option for you there are some very good private agencies. You could have an open adoption, that way you'd know where your child is and your child would know that you wanted more for him/her than you could give.
I am a birthmother, placed my son over 20 years ago. If you want to talk please, feel free to email me.
I won't try to influence you one way or the other, so don't worry about that. I just want you to know there's an ear available if you need one.
KP, She asked for ADVICE, not condescension or snottiness.
2007-04-26 10:44:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
It will be a tough road even more if your parents aren’t supportive of you. First you need to go to your parents and tell them. Make sure they know that you don’t expect them to be the “parents”.
If you don’t already have a job you need to find one ASAP. If you have a job but feel you could find something that pays a bit better, you could send out resumes/ job applications and then if something better comes up you take it. Your going to have a lot of costs even more if your parents want you to find your own place now. Will the father being paying child support obviously you can get a court order to force him, if he refused. Unless he signs his rights away. Might not be a bad option if he truly doesent want to be a Daddy.
You might also consider talking to a counselor at planned parent hood or some similar organization. They might even be able to get you in some program for unwed single mothers, teen mothers etc.
Having a baby truly chances your life forever, no more doing what you want to do. Your child comes first and should. Are you prepared to be a mommy 24/7 for the next 18 years (when your 36) and even then being a parent obviously doesn’t stop at 18 your one for the rest of your live, unless godforbid your child predeceases you. Will you be able to afford Child care? You probably should start looking into child care places, its never too soon.
Now a days they have what is called an Open adoption this could be a option for you. You’d be able to still be a part of your child’s life. You could even pick the adoptive parents .
Best of Luck
2007-04-26 10:36:20 · answer #2 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While it's true that it is YOUR baby- what no one seems to say to you is that it is a person. Not an animal or doll. Have you thought of what might be best for the child?
How can you raise him/her? Can you really be ready to be a parent when you are still so scared of mom and dads reaction that you are in essence lying to them? How can you raise a kid when you still are one? If you think you know how hard it will be to raise a child, ou are sadly mistaken. No one knows how hard it is until they are in the middle of it.
Put your baby's happiness ahead of yours. That is the only rule in parenting and it seems to me adoption is the way to do that.
2007-04-26 10:05:41 · answer #3 · answered by hmmmm 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The people that say its your choice and your baby are funny. Its your choice and your baby, but the man has no choice. Thats not fair. You all say that it takes two to make a baby, yet it takes one, the mother to unmake the child. What if the father wants to keep the baby and the mother doesn't?
I would say that you should have a serious talk with the father. Get his input on the situation and see if he is man enough to take on the responsibility of being a father. Next time you open your legs, make sure your on birth control or using condoms. I guess you have learned the hard way.
2007-04-26 09:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by danzahn 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Whenever my husband and I had our first baby I was only 18.
The baby had the tiniest little fingers and toes. I would hold the baby and marvel at the beauty of his little body. I dealt with it by hugging him and kissing him and I also did without things that I needed because my husband did not make much money. I don't regret doing with out because my tiny little bundle of joy is now a grown man and his son gives me much pleasure.
Good luck on whatever you decide to do.
2007-04-26 09:53:56 · answer #5 · answered by candle 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why are still living at home?
If you don’t want to have an abortion, then don’t. If you don’t want to give the baby up for adoption, then don’t.
But realize that it is YOUR responsibility (along with bio-dad….rather he wants to or not) to financially provide for the child, care for the child, raise the child, etc. Are you going to be able to do that?
IF not, then you need to consider an alternative (ie adoption). When you become a parent, it’s not about what YOU want anymore. It’s about what’s best for your child. And if you don’t realize that, then you are not mature enough to be a parent.
2007-04-26 09:51:10 · answer #6 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Talk to your parents and tell them the situation. Be brutally honest with them, don't pull any punches. Really and truelly, you are rather young to be accepting the tremendous responsibility of a newborn child. How are you going to maintain your schooling and raise and child to have honest values and have true values of an upstanding morally respectable person?
2007-04-26 09:53:16 · answer #7 · answered by mssheria2u 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your old enough to make your own decisions. You knew what could happen when you started having sex, right? If you want to keep your baby, then you should. Your parents can't make you give it up. Surely they want to know they're grandchild.
2007-04-26 09:52:08 · answer #8 · answered by SHELLBELL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you made a VERY poor choice just keep the baby. I just don't know why people can't just wait until they are married!!!!! I mean you would be married in another two or three years! JEASH!!!!!!
2007-04-26 10:17:30 · answer #9 · answered by Caitlin 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
its YOUR baby. your parents arent the one who are pregant. make sure you get a good job and have the dad pay child support. tell you parents it is yours and you want to keep it. if they tell you that you cant, tell them in a stern voice that you are going to keep the baby and walk out of the room.
i hope your baby is very healthy at birth!
2007-04-26 09:54:27 · answer #10 · answered by Hey Love...♥ 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋