My father and I haven't been on the best terms for years now, and now that I'm in college, it's getting worse. My father makes a big deal out of every "small" thing I do and can't get over the fact that I'm not perfect or living up to his high standards. For instance, I left a bowl in my room and he went ballistic because I didn't take it out (right now he's still upset about that [happened a week ago]). One of the biggest things that I don't like about him is his self-centered personality. I have a speech defiency ( I stutter okay...) and he says that he and my mother have it harder than I do. Come on, does that make any sense whatsoever?
I can't wait for the day I move out and become someone successful (not trying to brag) by my standards. I won't him to apologize for all the nasty things that he's done and regret the awful things he said about me.
My question is, how do I better myself so I can prove to him that I'm worth something now and in the future?
2007-04-26 09:28:21 · 8 answers · asked by Silent Jay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Check out The Stuttering Foundation for help with your stuttering. Their book "Self Therapy for the Stutterer" help several of my uncles and cousins.
Read Stormie Omartian's "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On" as she had a similar experience with a parent.
Don't try to live up to anyone's expectations but your own, and live by Eleanor Roosevelt's saying "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
2007-04-26 11:27:28 · answer #1 · answered by Bud B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look your father will always be the way he is, you will never be good enough, see he wants soooooooo much for you he doesn't realize that he's smothering you and you don't know how to tell him cause the both of you are the same . How you ask ? you both want to prove something to the other but what both of you don't realize is that time & life is passing you by and before you know it he's 6 ft. under and you have nothing but regret on your shoulder over some silly little thing like proving to him that you can be better than what he thought you would be, now please !
get over this hump and hug your father tell him "I love you for all the aggravation he's given you due to the fact that he loves YOU and is trying to make you better than what he's got. " and I mean tell him exactly what I just said and if he doesn't change after that then just leave that alone, finish school, and go on with loving your mom at least youandher (I hope) are close right? well either way just take care of the family that you can communicate with. and if it works out with your dad congratulations on breaking that barrier.
2007-04-26 09:46:46 · answer #2 · answered by sirij34 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he has anger issues and may be mentally unstable! he's miserable and has nothing better to do besides nit pick at you! stick it out as long as you can and keep your head up! just know that he's just being a jerk to be a jerk and you shouldn't take it personally. he's just releasing his own personal anger on your because you're around. not letting him get to you is the best thing you could do for yourself! i know its hard but just try ignoring him and work on you being a good person. don't let him make you feel you're worthless only you determine your own worth
2007-04-26 09:37:29 · answer #3 · answered by JM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may never get that apology or acknowlegment that you crave. my mother blamed me for her marital problems with her husband my junior year, and for saying i behaved like a ***** and some other stuff. i lived with her for one year and was always locked up in my room away from her and her husband. i've talked to her over the years about it but she doesn't feel apologetic about it. she still doesn't understand how i was emotionally distressed about things.
some parents just aren't inclined to how they treat their children and may never see it later on. you should just prove to yourself that you are better than him as a person. try to learn from your experiences. for example if you decide to have kids down the road you will know how you want them to be raised and what type of mental environment you want for them.
2007-04-26 10:54:34 · answer #4 · answered by LaRae L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay in college and get a good job. marry a man that loves you and treats you well. show him that you are better than the life he brought you up in. be better to your own children than he was to you. if you are in college, can you not go to the dorms?
2007-04-26 09:41:44 · answer #5 · answered by spacey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a dad like that too and he makes me his slave lol ! i just try to stay out of his way and not dwell on the things that he says (even though its hard) so ur not alone!
2007-04-26 10:17:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to school and set goals. follow through to acomplish those goals. mainly graduate and go find a job. I bet thats all he'll need.
He'll never apologize.
2007-04-26 09:42:46 · answer #7 · answered by Mercury 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just love him and remember that you really never know what they are going through
2007-04-26 09:42:52 · answer #8 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋