Should potty training take this long?

Question

The first time my daughter went on the potty was at 17 months. Now she's 24 months and she still doesn't always go on the potty. She started going most of the time at 20 months when I bought those Easy-Ups with Dora the Explorer on them. I told her that Dora doesn't like to be wet, so try your best to go on the potty. That seemed to work for a while, but all of a sudden, she didn't seem to care if Dora was wet. Then, I tried the sticker charts, but she never cared about rewards other than clapping and telling her she's a big girl. Then, I decided to try just using panties, but that seemed to backfire on me. I swear she deliberately went in her pants constantly just to spite me. I've been making sure I don't push her. I take her to the potty when she says she has to go and when she goes in her pants, I just simply tell her to try and make it to the potty next time. She's in pull-ups right now and I refuse to go back to diapers. Should it be taking this long? What should I try next?

I would like to add that I have

Sorry...lol...let's try this again....I have NOT been pushing her and I didn't start to potty train her until SHE told me she wanted to do it. It's not as if at 17 months I just TOLD her she has to do it or else. I mean, come on now. And I still don't push her. She does it on her time, whenever she wants, not when mom wants her to. So, please do not tell me I'm pushing too hard because that's a load of crap. (sorry for being harsh, but it's frustrating when some people think they know, but they don't).

Answer 1

Oh I feel your pain. I tried everything, bribing w candy, telling her the princesses didnt want to get dirty, going shopping for big girl panties, the different types of pullups that are supposed to feel wet, had her clean up her own #2 mess, bought books, looked on the internet - nothing worked!
I started training her at 19mo's and it took til she was almost 3. I talked to my doctor, daycare people & what ended up finally working was telling her it was gross and that she was gross for doing that. Yes this is horrible, I know it is - but its the one thing that my girly girl couldnt stand was being "gross". Now i wasnt completly heartless about this - accidents do happen. but my advice is find the one thing that she likes and take it away cause she's not a big girl yet and once she's a big girl (going on the potty) she can have it back. Don't be cold, but stern...
Its horrible, frustrating, and I agree that sometimes they do it just to spite you. I was cleaning that bathroom & she was standing right by me & went on the rug... AHHHH
I would also ask your doctor the next time your in to make sure theres no medical reasons or any suggestions they might have.

Answer 2

Take your time, don't be concerned. You began training at a rather early age, and the fact that she was only 17mos when she first went on the potty is quite impressive. She's 2 years old now, and doesn't always go on the potty -- completely normal, given she is only TWO. :)

Don't push too much. The time will come, I promise. Definitely don't resort back to diapers. The Pull-Ups are okay... but try to go back to regular underwear during the day, or even better... have her go without any panties/pants at home. Some of my friends have had luck with that.

Answer 3

Sorry to tell you but the problem was/is in using pullups - they are nothing more than a glorified diaper, and the child knows it! Better to use those padded underpants you can get.
However, if I were you I would put her right back in regular diapers for a few weeks and - in the nicest possible way - do a bit of shaming (don't get mad at me for suggesting this) about her being a baby, but that she should want to be a big girl and not use diapers, but be able to go choose pretty big girl panties. Don't be mean about it, but at that age, she understands embarassment.
It also matters for some kids what you are using for "potty". Kids just vary - some do great on the little potty, as long as there is water in it. Some do great on the real toilet, with the seat insert, and some are totally ready just to use the regular seat.

Answer 4

She is still young, but that doesn't mean you can't attempt to train her. If she has already shown you that she CAN use the potty, then you don't have to keep on with acting surprised or impressed when she does. I am a firm believer in using the reverse training method, and it worked amazingly for our son. We call it the "Clean & Dry" method. Instead of rewarding for using the potty, reward her for staying clean & dry in her diaper or panties. Start slow.

First, get some special treats that she would be excited about. Try to stay away from candy, b/c you'll find she gets a lot of rewards at first. We used yogurt covered raisins, smooshed fruit, carob-covered raisins, small dollar store toys, stickers, etc.

Then, start when you know you will be home all day and begin at 10 minute intervals. Every 10 minutes, ask her if she is clean & dry in her diaper. If she says yes, calmly check to make sure, and then make a BIG FUSS and tell her how great that is. Give her a small treat (one or two small pieces TOPS). Don't worry about the potty at all.

After about an hour of this, announce that it is time to use the potty. Don't make it an option and don't ask her. Just calmly walk in and see if she will sit on the potty. If she does, great. Make sure you do this right after rewarding for being clean & dry.

Slowly, extend the amount of time between when you ask her if she is clean & dry by 5 or 10 minute increments. You want to be careful that she doesn't start getting annoyed by you asking, so if you sense she is, extend the amount of time to keep her from being irritated.

The point is to get them to realize that they can control whether they stay clean & dry. You will hopefully find that she gets up to go potty on her own to impress you for being clean & dry. This is what happened with our son. He was 99% potty trained within 3 days and within a month of doing this he was 100% - even at night.

I wish you lots of luck and send you patience dust ~~~~****~~~~

Answer 5

Well, the truth is, the potty coaching age is 1 to 3. There is a muscle that lets the human physique recognize that it has to potty. That muscle develops between the age of 1 and 3. Some, earlier, some later. Trying to potty coach a child that hasn't developed this muscle is like speaking to a brick wall. They are not able to inform you after they have to go because THEY themselves do not even understand! But, via 3, in 99% of children, the muscle is developed. After that, it is unacceptable for children to not be potty informed.

Answer 6

I agree with what everyone has shared. She is only two. My daughter went in the potty once around 18 months old, and did not do it again until almost three. I think it is most important not to push a little one on the whole potty issue. When they are ready, you will be shown signs. And when they are NOT ready, you will be shown signs of that also. Patience is hard to practice in this area, I know from experience. But it will happen. My daughter seemed to decide all by herself when she was ready. without much effort on my part, really.

Answer 7

Put her in panties. Take her potty every hour and clap clap clap! If she makes a mistake don't make a big deal out of it either way. She's gonna make a mess. They sell plastic underwear at walmart in the baby section...put these on over her panties. She won't like it. Tell her it's to make sure she doesn't get wet. Once the choice is hers like it or not, she may come around. I don't think that's pushing...just pointing her in the right direction. She'll want to get the plastic ones off. When she's trained, she won't need them.

Answer 8

Oh the horror! That sounds exactly like my little boy. I started working with him when he was 18 months and he would do soooo good and then just all at once it's like he did not know what the potty was for. He stays at a home daycare and the lady that keeps him kept telling me to quit pushing him he would go on his own when he got ready to and that all I could do was to be there and be supportive of him. I took her advice and I would just ask him every now and then if he had to go potty sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't. But he finally decided that he was ready. Since that day he has not had one single accident, not even at night and he sleeps in underwear.

I guess that they just have to be ready.

Good Luck to you and your little girl! ;)

Answer 9

She is not ready.

And I doubt she is trying to spite you as 24 month olds thrive on attention.

My dd is now 22 months and she too asked to go at 17 months. She only goes about once a day, and refuses to do # 2. Ah well.

Everything I have read states that we moms push too hard, too fast for potty training. It sounds like maybe you should just back off, revert to the dreaded diapers and wait a month or so.

Good luck to us both.

Answer 10

I have 3 yr old twins i tried and tried to potty train them. probably to early. we tried everything and hen some family issues came up so we stopped trying because we were out of town. then at about 2 and a half they just started doing it all by them selves one day. they did not go all night until they were about 3. shortly after they got totally potty trained they went through a phase of having accidents. that's when we got the sticker chart and it worked great.