My fiance's parents want to send us on our honeymoon. They don't care were we go and we had only planned on going on a cruise, spending about 5000.00. Our thinking is that we have dreamed of owning a boat ever since we moved to florida, one of the main reasons we left CT. Nothing fancy, a used one would do but big enough to pull a skier with. Now we know we would get much more enjoyment and use out of a boat than a honeymoon. Our deliema is of course how do you ask for one with out offending, old school, old world sicilian parents?
2007-04-26 08:28:15 · 17 answers · asked by cc 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
we don't want both just the boat. why ask them to spend money on something we don't really want?
2007-04-26 08:35:06 · update #1
I think people are getting far too uptight about this question. If they're offering to send you on your honeymoon, that's their prerogative. Obviously they've considered this and have the money to spend, so that's not an issue.
I don't see anything wrong with your and your fiance asking them if they would give you the money towards a boat instead. Now maybe they have a special reason why they want to send you on a honeymoon (maybe they never had one or whatever), so they won't be amenable to the idea of buying a boat instead. That's fine, you can save up and buy one on your own and go on the honeymoon instead.
On the other hand, maybe they just want to do something nice for you and thought the honeymoon was a good suggestion, but are open to other ideas. I know when I give a gift, I want the recepient to be happy with it and get a lot of pleasure / use out of it. Personally, if I were in the position your soon to be in-laws were in, I'd be upset if I found out you went on a honeymoon we paid for because you thought you had to or were too afraid to suggest something you really wanted.
2007-04-26 09:05:37 · answer #1 · answered by Silver_Stars 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋
tell them you couldnt really decide on a honeymoon location and that you think you would much rather spend the time low key at home with one another, then they'll ask what else you would like. tell them about how much you've been wanting a boat, then they'll feel great about knowing that you're happy at home in FL during your honeymoon on the boat that they just got you!!!
2007-04-26 16:39:55 · answer #2 · answered by juls_marie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Sorry. It would be very insulting to them. Particularly since you say they are "old world". A gift, by definition is something someone gives you because THEY WANT to , not because you tell them what you want and then they buy it.
Take the honeymoon. You will enjoy it.
Part of the fun of marriage is working together towards your dreams. Take a jar and label it BOAT FUND and put it in your living room. Then you can save your pennies together and be able to have the satisfaction of done it on your own...together.
(if your in-laws see the jar, they might take the hint...but for heaven's sake, don't point it out)
2007-04-26 08:43:50 · answer #3 · answered by teacherintheroom 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I think it is completely okay for you to ask for the boat, as long as it is not more expensive than the honeymoon would be.
What difference does it make to them? None! And they are the parents for crying out loud, if you can't be honest with them, who can you be honest with?
These other folks who are saying it is not okay are way conservative.
Listen, nicely talk to the parents and explain it has been a dream of yours for a while and the boat will stay with you for a long time and will always remind you of the parents' generosity.
Good luck!
2007-04-26 10:27:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You dont. The gift of a honeymoon is what was offered, you cant say "Instead of..." its rude. Its either the honeymoon or nothing. Personally I'd take the honeymoon, those memories will last you alot longer than any boat, new or used, would.
2007-04-26 08:34:16 · answer #5 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
in a word, yes.
to basically say that their generous offer isn't good enough is very rude. it's the honeymoon or nothing. just go on the honeymoon and make those memories and then save up for a boat.
plus, the last thing you want to do at this point is truly offend your old school future inlaws.
best of luck on your marriage!
2007-04-26 09:11:32 · answer #6 · answered by Samantha B 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Well, first you say they are wanting to send you on a honeymoon - then later you say you are asking them to spend money on something you don't want -- these two conflict.
So let's just go with they have offered to send you on a honeymoon. What an absolutely generous offer, graciously made, with a LOT of love behind it.
It would be a total slap in their faces if you declined, or if you ASKED for something else. How in the world could you even THINK of being so SELFISH? Honestly!
2007-04-26 08:47:51 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
You know, you should be GRATEFUL for whatever they want to give on the occasion of the wedding ... and ...
To outright ask for something like that is (in the opinion of this Empty-Nesting Single Retiree who has been to LOTS of weddings) way out of LINE, greedy, and just plain RUDE (among other things).
This will DEFINITELY OFFEND the family for sure. How about if you both just work and save up for the boat on your own AFTER the wedding?
2007-04-26 08:36:43 · answer #8 · answered by sglmom 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Be grateful for eachother. You can save up for a boat later. Yes, I think that would be very forward and rude to ask for a boat.
2007-04-26 08:32:20 · answer #9 · answered by suthurnbabe 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
A simple solution would be to Register for a boat. You can do that you know.
2007-04-26 11:28:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋