When you have teenagers who rebel against your rules and wishes and act like it's their life and they can do what they want to, how do you handle it? How can you control the situation and remain a good parent when you're loosing a battle? My son is 16 yrs old and I had grounded him for a day for disregarding my rules and for his lack of respect, but the day he was supposed to be grounded, he took off as if nothing. When he got home, I reminded him that he had been grounded and wasnt suppoed to have been out, and told him to stay home for the next 2 days to make up for punishment and the next day he still did it again. Now he's telling me that he is going to do it again. Am I being too harsh? Too unfair? I try to be the best mother that I can and often remind him that I love him and I try to keep my parenting skills in check without going too far so that he won't start to hate me, but I am a firm parent, yet it seems I'm getting nowhere with this. Any advice?
2007-04-26 08:09:51 · 3 answers · asked by Faith . 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I was furtunate with my children. Ever since they were born, we spent a lot of time with them and included them into everything we did. We helped them with their homework every night until they finally surpassed us and we couldn't do it any more, but by that time they didn't need us to help because they had the work ethic to do it on their own.
We were firm, but fair. If I told them something, and they didn't do or they did do something I told them not to, they knew the results. If I told them, I would take something away, then I did. We tried to be consistant. It made things simple in the long run. There was no debate, It was like a "if/then" statement in programming. IF you do this, THEN this will happen. They had to judge, if they wanted to bear the results of their actions.
Once kids hit 16, the die has been cast for the most part. If your boy is driving, take the keys away, if he wants to get his license, and messes up, then delay the license.
One last thing, if your boy does something good, then reward him, in some way, show him praise for the good and punishment for the bad. Be firm, and by firm, I mean be consistant, and follow through. He will understand after a while. I wish you the best of luck with the boy.
I'm not saying my way is the best way for everyone, each child is little different, but that is what we did and now we have two professional children, and doing very well. We were either lucky or blessed.
2007-04-26 08:29:28 · answer #1 · answered by Fordman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to me! you are being unfair to your self because he doesn't seem to think about you and your rules and he is testing you to see how far you will let him do what he wants, what i think that is wrong with the parents of the world today the parents want to be their children's friends instead of being their parent. if i was you, what i would do when he comes home i would sit him down and tell him that he was grounded for about 1 month and with no exception expect for school, nothing else. and if he disobey your rules again, you tell him if he wants to be grown, get his things and get a house of his own.
2007-04-26 15:27:06 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Kenyon Martin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
CONSISTENCY, you are not his friend, you are mom, if he does not want to follow the rules by staying in, call the police to bring his butt home, show him you are serious, kids today need proof, don't listen to there babble about being unfair, it's all manipulation, do not fall for it, and do not feel guilty for being a good mother
2007-04-26 16:07:57 · answer #3 · answered by melissa s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋