What can I do to help with my boyfriend's depression?

Question

Please help! My boyfriend of 8 months is suffering depression. He was injured 3 years ago that has left him with chronic pain. He's not happy with his job -but won't pursue looking for a different one. He believe's we argue and don't get along all the time. I lost one of my part time jobs. And he believe's we argue all the time and don't get along. I am actively looking for another job. We have had a few disagreements recently over little stupid things - is this from his depression? We had a disagreement yesterday that ended with him calling us over and wanting me and my son out as soon as possible. Today he wants us to work and see how we do this weekend. I don't know what to do! I Love him and he says he loves me. And I feel that the few disagreements we have had stems from his depression. I did get him to schedule to talk to a counselor tomorrow. I have tried to be very supportive of him and help him in any way I can, but it feels like he's pushing me away. Help please.

He is on Klonopin for his stress and anxiety. He talked to his Medical Doctor about his anxiety level at his dr's appt. He's been on it a week and in that week's time, he's gotten worse. It makes him groggy and disoriented of a morning - which is not good because he works mornings. 4 am - 12:30 pm. Supervisor won't switch his schedule either.

My son and I are in no physical danger. And I have made arrangements ofr my son to spend the next couple of days at his father's house. So my boyfriend and I could have that little bit togethter.

Answer 1

The best thing you can do is to allow him to be depressed. All you need to do is grow as and individual, and become an inspiration. Become what you want him to be. If he follows suit you will both become happier. If not move on a find someone who is not dragging you into their pit. The world is already miserable enough. LOL!

Answer 2

My boyfriend has had the same problem with me actually. I cannot explain why I feel angry towards him a lot. I have Chronic Depression, and I am currently on Zoloft by the way. They say its caused from a chemical imbalance and that with time it can be corrected maybe, and that my depression is not coming from any particular source. It's just chemistry... I don't feel happy with my job either. I dont know why either. I have no reason to hate it. Me and my boyfriend argue all the time and it seems to me like he isnt willing to listen or to even try to understand me, and it makes me very upset. -and the worst thing is... I KNOW that he's done nothing wrong to me, and yet I still argue with him and still feel angry. I dont understand myself. Weve been dating for 8 months as well, and I am having a hard time coping with this unexplained anger and impatience with him. So, I KNOW what your boyfriends going through. Prom is tomorrow and Im so upset that I may get angry with him for no apparent reason... I found I needed help. I got help. I went to talk therapy. -and now, 6 months later on the medication, and I feel worse than I ever did. I dont understand, and im frustrated at msyself and my boyfriend, because he is the closest one to me, and whevener he doesnt understand me, I freak out... I apologize to him all of the time, and I do mean it. I have another doctors appointment in June to evaluate the results of my medication, if we decide to go on a different one, that would be good I think... I just thought I would comment on how your boyfriend might feel, so maybe you could understand him a little on this issue. I hope it helps too. I dont know what to do either, and I love him very much and he loves me, but I feel like... I dunno. Be there for him and try not to disagree over little things. Get him some help, and do something fun together and try to avoid conflict right now. See what the help does, and then go from there, but do it together. Thats the most important thing.

Answer 3

You made the first step in the right direction by scheduling an appointment with a counselor. Depression can manifest itself in many different negative ways, so the best way you can help him is to see that he gets the proper help. Counseling may not solve the problem, but it's a start. He may eventually need antidepressants. Meantime, you're having a difficult time yourself. If this boyfriend really means a lot to you, you'll have to stick it out with him, but it won't be easy. You have to make the decision, especially for the sake of your son. I wish you all the best of luck, but take care of yourself and your son also. You might benefit from some counseling yourself, to help you deal with the situation. Good luck!

Answer 4

I suffer from depression myself and after many years of therapy I can honestly say as much as this may hurt he needs to be willing to want to get the help for himself.
There is nothing wrong with your supporting him, in fact that is great but it sounds as though you may already be taking his words and partially blaming yourself because of his depression and things in the relationship are not just "perfect" but that is NOT true. This may be a pattern with someone with or without depression and you are the only person who can decide if you are willing and able to stand beside him.
You can be his girlfriend but you cannot be his therapist. If you continue to do everything you can and he only keeps pushing you are only going to get more and more stressed. It sounds as if you are doing everything you can and even going above and beyond, especially by working two jobs and sometimes in a relationship things are done for one or another as you know but you deserve for him to show his appreciation too. You can help him but don't allow him or allow yourself to get in a pattern of neglecting yourself in trying to "save" him. I do wish you both the best and hope he can get the help with his depression he needs.

Answer 5

You just need to be very understanding with him. He definelty needs to get some help. You are heading in the right direction by getting him involved with a counselor. Sometimes he may not even realize what is bothering him so he blames it on your relationship, just remind him that you are here for him and want to work through it.

Answer 6

Yes, withdrawl from familiear persons is common in people who suffer from depression. It can also stem from injuries. Id say its likely. Wait and see what the counselor says. Changes are on the horizon so as long as you and your son are in no danger i would stick it out.

Answer 7

When a person is in depression. He has to be willing to help himself first. Others can only give caring , tender and love to assist him.

Religion is a good way to assist him. Let him build up the confident.

Some religion member willing to visit him and give him guidance.....etc....I believe this help but he MUST be willing to change himself after all.

Answer 8

yes, a man that cannot support his family would be depressed and try to push you away so you can find someone better. i think thats why he argues and still loves you. right now theres alot of stress on him hes just struggling to maintain a stable envoirnment for you and your child. th best thing i would say to him is to gett a different job and the best thing i can say for you is to support him.

Answer 9

He has to be willing to seek help for his depression. He needs to do it for himself, not for anyone else.
Continue to support him and help him through this difficult time with the understanding that he try to help himself.
You may have to let him go and move on with your life. But know in your heart that you have done everything you can. You certainly don't want your son around someone who is always depressed and not willing to try and help himself.

Answer 10

Try some St. Johns Wart, its an all herbal OTC pill, non-expensive. It worked for me very well