Just recently a guy I know from my past has popped back up in my hometown. He was a really bad guy when he was younger....and has been in and out of jail. Anyways, I ran into him at a bar, struck up a conversation, danced together then spent the whole night (until 8am the next morning) talking. He seems so different now..Like I'm talking to an entirely DIFFERENT person! We've been hanging out a bit, and he is hoping for a relationship. Saying he wants to settle down and have a normal life. Compared to his past gf's, I'm not his type, NOT AT ALL! I'm settled and independent, he's always went for wild & crazy. Do u think he really is wanting to change? Is it possible? Should I give him a chance? I've always believed people can change, and I do like him. We agreed if anything was to happen, we would take it slow. Should I give it a try?
2007-04-26 07:15:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to understand...he seems TOTALLY different. Like all the time we've been hanging out....he hasn't really tried anything...Just a kiss. He seems so sweet. And so sure of what he is looking for.....About what he really wants in life...
2007-04-26 07:21:38 · update #1
Sweetie, they don't change
2007-04-26 07:19:14 · answer #1 · answered by gouldgirl2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can change. My dad was the same as the guy you're describing. He's been smoking since 11-12. He started stealing cars around 15. Was given the choice to go to jail or military. Went into the military. Went to jail when he got out. multiple breaking and enterings, assaults, drunk driving. He used to drink do drugs and all sorts of other bad stuff. He met my mom and he stopped doing most of that. He still did drugs and drank. But 20 years ago my mom told him to make a choice. Drinking and drugs or his family. He went into the bedroom, packed a bag, gave my mom the car keys, and said, "Take me to rehab right now." When they first got together, my mom's side of the family begged her not to stay with him. They all hated him for the person he had been.
Now, he has been clean and sober for 20 years. Hasn't even gotten a speeding ticket. He is still with my mom, has raised 3 kids, owns his home and every time my mom's family has a problem they call him first.
People make bad decisions in their lives. Some regret those choices, some don't. You need to judge a person by who they ARE, not who they WERE.
Just as a final thought... He met and married my mother when I was three. He adopted me when I was 10. Never, not once, has he ever referred to me as his 'step son'. I have always been his 'son'.
If that's not proof that people can change, I don't know what is.
2007-04-26 07:35:46 · answer #2 · answered by Daggz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think no matter what, take it slow.
People are changed by the experiences in their lives. Years have passed and perhaps time has 'served him well'
Just because we were foot loose in our younger years doesn't mean we can't change and grow up. That's what life is about, growing up. Some take much longer than others.
I think if you like each others company and you have interest in getting to know him, then why not? Just be careful. The heart is very painful breaking, you don't also need guilt in knowing you jumped into something you shouldn't off.
Men also have this way of hiding their true identity!
2007-04-26 07:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by Natural Wellness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to know is to wait and see. Can people change? Yes. Do people change? Not normally. But take a look where he is now. Is he employed? Does he drink/drug? Is he still hanging out people who are wild? Why not be friends for the next 6 months and see how it goes. Just don't make the mistake of having sex with him -- that will cloud your judgment.
2007-04-26 07:21:44 · answer #4 · answered by Dena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been in and out of jail? Um..no. Sounds like his character has modified, but it will eventually revert back to is previous state. But if you want to waste time, sure go for it. The fact that you are questioning yourself means you already know the answer. RUN THE OPPOSITE WAY! Not saying he isnt a great guy, but um...he isnt for you. Like you said compared to his past gf's you are not his type. What other evidence would you like? AGAIN I SAY RUN.
2007-04-26 07:22:06 · answer #5 · answered by adviceub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends. most likely u would see the person change. for ppl to change they need to change for themselves and realise it for themselves. like u cant tell a fat person they have 2 go gym and change their eating habits. they will only change their eating habits a lose weight WHEN THEY REALIZE IT for themselves and want to. it is the same with everything else. yes ppl can change. i used 2 only want short term relationships and i used 2 use guys for their money and stuff 5 yrs ago and then i met my current bf. i did it 2 him and i broke up with him after i used him... and i saw him 4 the first time in my life saw a guy cry like a baby and he is 1 of those really tall really masculine guys and that was the moment i changed and swore i would never ever play games with guys again. even if iam not interested. i tell them iam not interested. soo it all depends if that person sees she needs to change 4 herself. thru time if she does u will see a real change. if she's only saying it to get back with u.. u will see no change.
2016-05-19 04:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by junita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing the full circumstance, I would say, give it a shot. You sound like you have your 'poop in group', so you'll know if he's merely putting on an act, or if he's sincere. Some never outgrow their rebellious youth, but on a whole most do.
And yes, PLEASE DO take it slow!
2007-04-26 07:22:38 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it a try! Take it slow, and if it seems that he's going to his old ways you can always break up with him, and tell him you expected more. Good Luck!
2007-04-26 07:22:10 · answer #8 · answered by dollphins06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah ppl change my ex used to be so caring and understanding but now he is more like a careless person who just loves to hurt me for no reason :( but its different here anyways yeah go for it and BE CAREFULL
Good Luck
2007-04-26 07:20:52 · answer #9 · answered by rosa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but drinking tell 8am is not normal. Sounds like you are both perfect i guess lol
2007-04-26 07:22:18 · answer #10 · answered by Lush 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he might be diffrent....if u like him then go on and date, but dont get married or move in for a while make sure u test him in a lot of diffrent situations. test him but dont trick him(meaning dont leave drugs or money infront of him as he might get temped or sumthing)
2007-04-26 07:21:37 · answer #11 · answered by jaber 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋