My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years but we've known each other for 10. In the beginning he lied to me numerous times to avoid conflict so my distrust for what he tells me is very strong. I always worry about where he is or what he's doing or who he's with even when there's proof that he's telling the truth. He even lies about stupid things like calling out of work and being afraid i'd get mad that he did it. Even after all the lying he'd done even when i ask him questions about his whereabouts and try to get him to tell me the truth when there's proof he's lying he still lies. I love him more than anything but we have major trust issues and I don't know how to fix them. I just want him to see the damage he's done but being so selfish but I don't know how to get him to see it. He hates being confronted and just gets angry when i bring it up, even if i do it calmly and rationally. Any suggestions?
2007-04-26 07:02:52 · 10 answers · asked by Dziner 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he refuses to tell you the truth even after he sees how much it hurts you, then you need to ask yourself if you really want to be with him. I've gone through it before and I know that once your mind is made up about staying with someone...even if you don't trust them, there's nothing anyone can say to change your mind. You want to stay with him because you love him and that's it.
It's really hard to have a relationship without trust. I've done it before and I just felt physically ill almost 24/7. It's a horrible feeling. You need to take care of YOU. That's most important. Don't allow him to make you doubt yourself.
If he won't talk to you about it, then you have a very big decision to make. Threaten to leave him if he refuses to communicate with you to make things better. A relationship without trust and communication is nothing.
2007-04-26 07:11:10 · answer #1 · answered by Me baby Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't control him or change him. All you can do is recognize the warning signs early enough to move on. He clearly has little trust in being who he really is and this suggests he lacks integrity. Any sassy woman who has a successful relationship, has had the loyalty and respect to herself enough to be able to move on and find someone who she is compatible with. I wish you every success with this one, but it has been said, the way you communicate after 3 months, is the way it will stay.
2007-04-26 14:10:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's impossible to change someone. Dont even try. You are the only one who's making change, by accepting his lies. Trust is a major ingredient of a relationship. In my eyes, if one has no trust, there is no relationship.
2007-04-26 14:15:00 · answer #3 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant. You've been with him long enough to know that this is just the way he is. Ofcourse he can change although it does'nt seem like he cherishes you enough to be truthful. So face it, your choice is to stay with a lier or kick'em to the curb and find what your looking for.
2007-04-26 14:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by EarthTone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ME and my boyfriend had this prb. for me Even tho i know that it is awkward u have to call him on his stuff If he is anything like my b/f at first he will deny deny deny but For my b/f He would throw a fit take off do w/e but eventually i think that he was ashamed so he started to be truthfull and one thing that i found out is DONT bring up the past... the past was the past..... hope this helps
2007-04-26 14:12:34 · answer #5 · answered by Rose S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The easyest way is to catch him in a lie and have a long talk wit him so he can stop
2007-04-26 14:11:31 · answer #6 · answered by Jazzy305 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is angry because you don't trust him
You don't trust him because he lies.
This is not gonna work, shape up or ship out. You don't deserve that.
2007-04-26 14:09:07 · answer #7 · answered by Myra G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lie ditector LOL tell him u would like him to tell the turth or u will leave his butt
2007-04-26 14:08:38 · answer #8 · answered by kitty_17 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WEAR SOME 3'' HEELS, AND THREATEN TO KNOCK HIS LIGHTS OUT IF YOU CATCH HIM LYING AGAIN!!!!!!!
2007-04-26 14:06:27 · answer #9 · answered by janetjacksoniscool 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
catch him in it thensay youll leave him if he keeps it up
2007-04-26 14:07:38 · answer #10 · answered by smileygirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋