My friends say that I am too kind for my own good. They say I let people use me. Is there a way I can stop being that way? Is it such a bad thing that I like to help people?
2007-04-26 06:42:32 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
no its not such a bad thing unless they take advantage of you...if you would rather not do what they ask then say no, sorry I cant do that at this time...♥
2007-04-26 06:47:13 · answer #1 · answered by just peachy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to learn the difference between being nice/helping out and when someone is taking advantage of you. There is nothing wrong with helping people but you have to stop and :
a. see if they only act like a friend when they need/want something
b. ever call you or spend time with you without asking for anything or wanting anything
c. ask them for something small to see if they will be as helpful as you have been to them
d. determine if they ever returned the favor in anyway
e. see if they are nice to you and talk with you about your life or if they joke with you often and just always speak of themselves- if they are only focused on them then they probably just see you as someone they can easily use to make them feel good or give them things they want without it costing them anything
2007-04-29 13:11:24 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not a bad thing to want to help people. You can only be used if you permit people to use you. They have no power over you, you are the one who decides. Being kind is a wonderful trait, but like every thing else, don't carry it too far.
2007-04-26 06:55:30 · answer #3 · answered by Alfie333 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a good thing to be nice, but there are too many vultures out there who take advantage of it. I'm way too nice. I've had to learn to speak up and in my heart I know I'm offending them, but I have to. I've been taken way too much in the past because of my "niceness". It's too bad people can't treat everyone else with respect.
2007-04-26 06:54:43 · answer #4 · answered by chefgrille 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not a bad thing you just have to learn to be nice without letting people walk all over you. Its hard to do i know, I am the same way. but just know you are a great person and you have nothing to be ashamed or worried or sad about you are a great person just remember that!
2007-04-26 14:09:11 · answer #5 · answered by Heidi Anne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends may be concerned that people are taking advantage of your good nature. It is o.k. to say "No" sometimes.
You don't have to do something just so people will like you. I know this from personal experience. Do favors for those who are willing to do favors for you in return.
What do you think? Are you doing favors for people who take you for granted?
Remember, it is perfectly o.k. to say "No." And, you don't have to say why.
2007-04-26 07:33:51 · answer #6 · answered by Lizzie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be that way and then I met my husband, who is more assertive. When you feel like you are being used, just speak up and say what you feel. It's okay to not be so accomadating to everyone and everything.
It helps to hang around people who you can learn to be assertive from.
2007-04-26 06:49:09 · answer #7 · answered by kindofkitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋