I am dating a really great guy, we've been together 6 months and he is a really mature, responsible person who would do anything for me. Cute, has goals, a good job, is smart with his money, good family. We are both 24. When I am with him, it's like he's perfect for me, but then at other times, I feel like I panic because at this point, if he asked me to marry him, I would say no (not that he's trying to) but it's just the point- if I don't want that by now, will I ever? He's so perfect for me, but then there's always the thought in my head, what if there is someone I feel so much more for and I just haven't found them? Basically, I feel like I still want some freedom,( terrible breakup 2 years ago, long time to get over) but at the same time, I want him to be there if I decide that he is the person I should be with. That sounds terrible, but it's true. I will never cheat on him, but I just kind of wish there was room to "explore" on both parts. Don't think he would go for that though
2007-04-26 04:33:37 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Basically my question is do I stay with him, ask if we can have a more casual relationship, or break up?
There is a guy who I would like to hang out with, but not even really date. He is not dating material, but my boyfriend understandably wouldnt want that.
I just feel trapped.
2007-04-26 04:42:58 · update #1
After reading this, I think I sound like a b***h.
2007-04-26 04:45:11 · update #2
I just don't know if I feel the "spark" like I felt with my other boyfriend. I know I shouldn't compare it, and I don't still love him, but I feel like how can you not compare different loves?
2007-04-26 04:52:00 · update #3
you should slow yourself a little.. It's only been 6 months.. you shouldn't let such a great guy go, you should however tell yourself at least 2-3 times a day that you deserve to be with him...
2007-04-26 04:41:48 · answer #1 · answered by I Heart 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me point out a few things. You say he's perfect for you and you're very happy with him. Why wonder if there's someone you'd be happier with? How would you know when you met this person? What if you assumed someone else would make you happier and then they didn't? Doesn't the fact that you're currently happy mean anything at all?
You also say that he's really mature. I'm guessing that he wouldn't rush into marriage based off of that fact. He would make sure that you are in fact everything that he wants in life (as it sounds he is for you).
What makes you think that you HAVE to get married? Is he dropping hints that he's thinking about asking? Are people assuming that you will? I'm guessing that on some level you want to marry him since you are thinking about it.
Just so you know, it's normal to feel the fear of commitment. Marriage IS a big thing, but if you and the man you devote yourself promise each other to talk about anything and everything, especially any sort of problems you have, then things will work out in the end and you will find out that you had nothing to worry about.
So says the idealism of someone engaged for over 1 year and married for a total of 11 days =)
2007-04-26 11:49:27 · answer #2 · answered by Laura 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your a little "relationship claustrophobic" (probably spelled wrong but you get it) I'm guessing due to your terrible break up. I would suggest you just keep things kind of casual, don't live together, just keep dating. He sounds like a great guy and if you haven't explained the bad break up, would probably understand if you did. And that you'd like to move slow in your relationship, for now. Maybe it'll give you some time to get things sorted out in your own mind about what you want. I think in time, with him or with someone else, you'll find the marriage bug biting at you. Your young, now is the time to take the time to be sure of what you want. Isn't it better to be sure now rather then be sorry 10 yrs down the road?
2007-04-26 11:46:17 · answer #3 · answered by Innisfil g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married. If you are thinking "there may be someone better out there" it would be unfair to him to say yes. The GOOD news is you will save his life by saying no. The BAD news is, once a shopper, always a shopper.
2007-04-26 11:39:28 · answer #4 · answered by John Q Harris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are young, have alot of life to live, ,enjoy the moment and eventually if you are still with this guy you will look at marriae differently,, concentrate on finding a good job , or getting a great education to find a great job,
2007-04-26 11:37:49 · answer #5 · answered by rich2481 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should give the relationship more time, if he does ask just be honest with him. If he really does love you he'll repect you for your feelings.
2007-04-26 11:40:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a problem experiance has taught me that when you have thoughts like that unless you really make a permanent commitment this relationship is doomed so sh++ or get off the pot
2007-04-26 11:39:39 · answer #7 · answered by catherine marcrum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are scared Have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe he feels the same
2007-04-26 11:39:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sooner or later we all have to grow up; whether we want to or not. You should give it some thought I would say.
2007-04-26 11:38:46 · answer #9 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've found someone who treats you well and has a promising future. Keep what you have and don't screw it up.
2007-04-26 11:39:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋