What do you think God would have me do?

Question

My husband and I have been estranged from his mother and step father for 8 months now because they didn't get their way once with us. They have been sending birthday packages for the kids and I have been emailing pictures but no messages. Besides that their has been no contact. They sent a package today addressed to me with my maiden name and not my hubbies name whom I've been married to for 12 years now. It was from FedEx. And they said she gave them the name and info to be printed on the label. I think it's for my daughter whose birthday was yesterday. I want to return it to sender because of how it was addressed. Would that be the Christian thing to do? I feel like God thinks she's being silly and wouldn't care if I sent it back. She will be charged the fee to have to send it back since I didn't open it. What do yo think?

Answer 1

Be magnanimous.
Overlook it.
Colossians 3:13
"Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely."
Isaiah 55:7
"Let the wicked man leave his harmful thoughts; and let him return to God, for he will forgive in a large way."
Forgive IN A LARGE WAY.
That is good advice because if you retaliate, even mildly, she will know she can get to you.
You don't want that.
Overlook it and carry on as if nothing happened.

Answer 2

No one can tell you what God's telling you. If God tells you to do something, by all means do it. Otherwise, my advice is to keep the package hidden and express your distaste for their behavior, and that you refuse to open the package under the circumstances. I don't think they'll respond, but I do think they'll at least read it.

Grudges can go on for a long time. My brother hasn't spoken to me in... I've lost count of the years. It's not anything I can do to heal, except let time work. I don't know what the problem is, and there's no way for me to find out or figure it out. Everyone's told me different things. It's a God thing now. The best thing I can do is keep the door open.

Answer 3

What "God" would want isn't important... you can guess why that's true.

Any behavior on your part that sinks to the petty level of your mother-in-law's would be a mistake, in my opinion. Rise above the desire to get revenge and instead work on solving the problems between you so that all parties can feel they've won the battle. Tossing fuel on the fire isn't the answer, (as some here have otherwise suggested.) Ignore the temptations to fight back and ignore any future insults as well.

Family is family and you'll find out in time that they're always going to be a part of your life - whether they are a good or bad part is up to you as much as it's up to them... act accordingly for the best results.

[][][] r u randy? [][][]
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Answer 4

Of course the intent of your in-laws is to insult you and your husband. I guess with this package they are trying to tell him, that he is not their son anymore. Parents have a hard time letting their kids have the last word and allowing them to be grown up and make their own decisions.

Despite all that, be the bigger person and don't repay insult with insult by sending the package back. See: 1.Peter 3:9 "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."

You are called to be a PEACE MAKER and that's hard work. That doesn't mean that you let them run your life, but you should still treat them with respect, even if they don't deserve it. No one deserves God's love, and yet He still gives it. "He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." Luke 6:35

Answer 5

well,
a) this would be very upsetting to me if it was sent in that manner.. I probably would have told the fed ex man that no such person lived there....by useing your maiden name she is showing discontent for the fact that your married to her son...
B) I am sure god is thinking she is silly - but reality is she is also being very inmature..
C) If i were you - talk it over with your hubby first and see what he says,but if you realy feel like you should return it after you discuss it with hubby,then go for it - I know I would.
D) Some may deem it as un christian like - pray and ask god for guidence,and if you do return it - just tell god what you have done,why you did it and ask for his forgivness



good luck

Answer 6

I think you should just take it. Yeah you havnt got along with them..but think of how mad u would be if they did that to you. who knows maybe the fedx ppl put the wrong label on it or spelled it wrong. im sure ur daughter isnt going to care as long as she gets to open it. i mean thats just a little mistake...my grandparents didnt even give me a birthday card or a phone call or nething for my birthday in february so just be glad that they are giving your kid gifts and at least keeping in contact by sending them...keep praying and maybe things will come to an understanding and you all can be a happy family.

Answer 7

I think you should allow your daughter to open her present. My mother-in-law is a very difficult woman to get along with. I am not sure what happened in your case but I can relate to difficulties. When I was on bedrest because of premature labor with doctor's orders to not get up for anything except the bathroom or I would lose the baby, my mother-in-law criticized my walls because my older son had gotten fingerprints on it and I did not get up and scrub them clean. She has told me three times this year to quit school because if I am not home I am a bad mother. The children have been to her home four times this year and three of those times she spent the entire visit criticizing their behavior, telling them how bad a job we were doing parenting them. They asked to not go back alone. As a Christian I struggle with this relationship. She is family but she is mean. I do not prevent her from seeing us or the children, I do not refuse her gifts. But I also do not seek her out. She told me on the phone last week that my 13 year old should learn about sex through practise with experienced girls rather than waiting and being with someone he loves the first time. I told her that was not a Christian perspective and I did not agree with her. I told her we would be teaching our son from our point of view. You have to set boundaries and limits, but I think you also have to allow your children a chance to know their grandparents. Just explain to them both sides of the story. When they are adults they will appreciate that you allowed them the opportunity to know their grandparents and also allowed them a choice in the continuation of that particular relationship.

**As far as the Christian rule about respecting your parents, a man is told to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. Old relationships must be put into a new perspective with regards to the marriage.

Answer 8

You feel like God thinks she's being silly?

I think you have bigger problems than whether or not you should send back the package.

Here's my opinion: keep the package, give it to your daughter. Then tell your husband what happened, and tell him that he needs to talk to his parents about their behavior. If they deny that something's wrong, don't speak to them again, ever. They'll either come around, or they won't, but until you draw a line in the sand, they'll just keep on treating you badly.

I don't think you need God to tell you that.

Answer 9

When in doubt, forgive and give the benefit of the doubt.

It sounds like they were at least making a half hearted attempt to reach out. The name thing is kind of weird, but just a gentle reminder in the thank you note that you took your husband's name is in order.

Good luck, I know family strife is a pain.

Answer 10

I think the answer to your question can be found in these few verses:

Matthew 22:39
And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' [ Lev. 19:18]

Luke 6:35
But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

Romans 12:20
On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." [ Prov. 25:21,22]

Instead of returning spite for spite, I believe the best resolution would be to open the package, give the gift to your daughter, and then write a great thank you note in return to your mother-in-law using your correct name and don't point out the fact that she used your maiden name. We are called to love those who hate us, don't pay back wrong for wrong.

You know what is right to do...