I just broke up with the latter last night. We dated for four to five months, and I feel so guilty about it. She embodied everything that I had been whining about being unable to find. She was into me also...and I wanted to be in to her so badly..because I know how quality she is. I bided my time hoping, almost praying for more of a spark, but at the end of the day it never came and I hurt her. What the heck is wrong with me?
2007-04-26 03:46:18 · 9 answers · asked by markwett 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The only thing wrong with you is that somewhere down the line you took someone elses idea of perfect and thought it was right. Chemistry is so much a part of love. Stop planning it out and start feeling. You can't control who your attracted to, and who you fall in love with.
2007-04-26 03:53:41 · answer #1 · answered by mom_of_2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To some degree or another, we all want what we can't have. Unfortunately, that's normal. But you have to choose what's most important... the elusive chase... or the right one.
Spark is important in a relationship, but it's not what will keeps you together for any length of time. No matter how big the spark... it will eventually fade, to some extent. Then you're left with someone you love and respect with no spark... or someone you don't understand with no spark. It's your choice.
Also consider that your subconscious has noticed something in your ex that isn't quite what you want. Maybe it's something small that can be overlooked. Maybe it's something big that's a relationship breaker. Think about all the possibilities that caused you top break up with her. There may be something beneath the surface you're over looking.
2007-04-26 10:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by beebobry77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with you. As a matter of fact, I would place you up there as a true, caring gentleman. You could have
taken advantage of her for sex only. You did not..
That girl, woman is out there, and you will feel the "spark"
when you least expect it.
We cannot have too many friends, possibly call her and tell her that the relationship you both had could never be more than that. I think she would appreciate it, knowing you
believe in not just making love to anyone, and she is great company etc.
I dated several men, and truly knew 2 of them were in love with me. However, as you said, the spark was not there.
I never slept with any of them.......then one day....my friend
asked me to go to the Officers club with her again....
Wow....I just looked at him, and he me. the spark flew..
We married, have a son......now 34 years old and grandchildren.
By the way those 2 men are married also now. We truly became friends......they would do anything for our family,
and my husband and I would do anything for them.
so again, I say...Nothing is wrong with you....
and Congratulations on being the type of man you are!!
2007-04-26 11:17:29 · answer #3 · answered by Eve 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with you. It happens. My ex did the same thing to me. He didnt feel a spark like I did.
But obviously, buy the 3rd or 4th date... if there is no spark, there is not going to be one.
You should not have lead her on so much. Or at least have been more upfront with her earlier in the relationship, and gotten her advice before moving forward.
However, Im proud of you for realizing it and breaking things off before they got too deep.
2007-04-26 10:51:36 · answer #4 · answered by sweetblueyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am fairly certain that there is nothing "wrong" with you! Maybe you are a little too vigilant about locating this "spark" instead of just letting things happen naturally. I think most of us like to be in control of situations and our surroundings, but with love, you just have to let things unfold. Honesty and integrity are the building blocks of a good relationship and with those as your foundation, you will find the "spark" you are looking for!
Good luck my man!
2007-04-26 10:52:50 · answer #5 · answered by monkey tuesday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always find myself attracted to people I never would have imagined. I remember I used to make lists of characteristics that I found attractive. But overall they were meaningless. There just has to be chemistry, and I really have no idea what causes that. The things that you can't really explain like how someone smiles or touches you or little quirks really make a difference. We humans are strange strange creatures.
2007-04-26 11:04:37 · answer #6 · answered by sym pathetic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just looking too hard and meeting the wrong people. Don't worry you'll find that someone that you'll connect with...when the time is right. Don't rush love, it will find you when you least expect it.
2007-04-26 10:50:18 · answer #7 · answered by dsd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suspect that although she had the qualities you were after, passion was lacking for you. Nothing wrong with that. You either have chemistry or you don't.
2007-04-26 10:51:50 · answer #8 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's ok. you want what you can't have.
2007-04-26 10:49:37 · answer #9 · answered by ♥SIO♥ うちは サスケ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋