He constatnly is yelling at me for things that I may or may not have control of - when we talk on the phone, I already know it will end in a fight - but when he is with me in person, he is sweet and genuine. I care alot about him and we talk about marriage, but I am afraid of how he'll be after marriage. I don't know if he just wants me to take care of his 3 boys and house, I could use some advice on this matter.
2007-04-26 01:02:31 · 14 answers · asked by kim 57 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
so BOUNCE if you want to.
2007-04-26 01:04:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if he's like this now, he probably won't change. Unless you sit down with him and have a serious talk, no arguing, and he listens and starts to show you changes BEFORE you get married, I don't think I would stay in the relationship. You have one life and it's not worth spending it miserable most of the time. Marriage is about respect and while everyone tends to argue, etc...there are some things that are not worth it. Good luck.
2007-04-26 08:07:22 · answer #2 · answered by Starlight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can speak from experience with a controller. You should leave him before it gets out of hand! Dating someone for four months is a little quick to be talking about marriage.You should also stand up for yourself when he argues and yells over the phone. It may be only a matter of time before he acts out with you in person.
2007-04-26 08:09:09 · answer #3 · answered by ms.redd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hunny, run ... and don't look back. I know that you probably care about him a lot and have a good relationship. and we all know that no guy out there is perfect and they all have flaws. but he is controlling you. he is putting you down by yelling at you all the time. and he is stressing you out by always having conflict with you. Your man is supposed to lift up your spirits. He is supposed to Love you unconditionally. He is not suppose to control you because you have parents and that was their job when you were a child.
Controlling men often become violent and dangerous. what would he do if you were to become rebellious and stand up for yourself. he's yelling at you but your not listening to him so he lets his hands do all the talking.
If you chose to stay don't stay with him because you think that he'll change his ways for you. a person doesn't change unless its for themselves first.
2007-04-26 08:10:11 · answer #4 · answered by destiney 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just about all men who start as emotionally or verbally abusive end up being physically abusive. They also act all sweet and nice most of the time. If you are even considering marrying him, then he needs to seek counseling to get his anger/aggression under control.
You mention that he has 3 boys? Why isn't he with their mother? Did she have problems with his controlling nature? Was he abusive to her? Keep your eyes wide open for your own saftey. It doesn't sound good to me.
2007-04-26 08:09:42 · answer #5 · answered by princess_dnb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't allow any man to put fear in you. Maintain your stand, i believe this kind of man after marriage will continue to do the same way. he has three boys already, what happen to their mother, is because of this agressive attitude, please open your eyes and know what you are doing. It takes two to make a marriage and just only one to destroy it. So be careful
2007-04-26 08:10:38 · answer #6 · answered by onoscity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you have already made up your mind. it's not something you want to be yelled at and just be the house wife get out. you might like him alot but it takes more than just liking someone or loving someone to make a marriage work
2007-04-26 08:06:25 · answer #7 · answered by Ange 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he will keep doing it and your kids will have bad nerves like you and also will be afraid so you can see where it goes not very well im afraid for you, cause just think how it would be if you live with him, then it will be not only on the phone ,good luck in your decision,
2007-04-26 08:08:49 · answer #8 · answered by freeflow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have concerns after just 4 months, you have to realize already what life would be like if you marry him. Cut your ties to him now. It will only get harder to do, if you wait longer.
2007-04-26 08:07:51 · answer #9 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE! His controlling behavior will only get worse after marriage because he will really feel you belong to him. You will be so sorry if you continue this relationship!!
2007-04-26 08:07:21 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You won't be able to change him and he will only get worse. Even if he promises to be more relaxed, he will revert back to his controlling self.
2007-04-26 08:08:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋