Why is Polygamy a bad thing?

Question

I'm in a relationship with girls who are really close with another each other. The two of them have loved each other from childhood. As some women do, they like to have sex with each other. Since my relationship with this girl and her friend (her friend having tagged along on many dates) have become close, my girl friend asked me if we could include her girl friend (who has become a best friend of mine) in our relationship.
This is what many a man would consider a bonus. They can go be themselves, shop and do things guys feel obligated to do, and I'm not dragged into it so much. I get to spend time with them both, in a non-platonic way, and neither of them gets mad, that they aren't getting attention. I don't feel like I'm being cheated on or anything, and every thing seems to be going good....
Except that I would like to marry these girls (both of them together, and we've talked about it). But the church and Government won't allow it. I'd like to know why the three of us can't be?

Answer 1

Our experience as human beings has shown us that polygamy doesn't generally work out very well for any of the parties involved. It may seem all good to you now, but I'm wondering if your relationship can stand the test of time.
I don't see why you are worried about what the church thinks. Obviously you are not a committed Christian, or, if you are, you need to realize that what you are doing is a sin. Polygamy was never God's idea, if it were, He would have created wives for Adam, but He gave Adam only one wife. Jesus made it very clear, a man will cling to his wife (singular) and they two (twain means two, not three or more) shall be one flesh. The church should only concern itself with the sex lives of their own members. It is not my business or the business of any other Christian to even begin to try to tell a non-Christian how to conduct their love lives.
The government, on the other hand, does have the right to limit you to one legal wife, although they may not tell you how many women you can sleep with or have living with you. You can only claim tax benefits for one legal wife and her children, and that, I think, is as it should be. It seems fair.
The three of you can be, you just can't be a legal entity, or a religious entity. We're only just beginning to work on equal rights for homosexuals, and, as a Christian, I have to admit, it makes me uncomfortable, but I do realize that my rules are based on my belief in God, and do not apply to those who do not believe in Him. I think any couple who live together and pay bills, raise kids, etc together, ought to have the same legal rights as any married couple.
I just don't think anybody ought to try to get double the rights as anyone else. I think that's sort of pushing it.
Peace!

Answer 2

Is Polygamy Bad

Answer 3

To quote Oscar Wilde, "Polygamy is having too many wives. Monogamy is having one too many wives."

The state will not allow it legally because most of the elected officials have religious supporters who say that such relationships are "against family values". Personally, I don't see how the three of you are harming anyone else so I don't have a problem with it. Most religions will not perform the services of a wedding with more than two people but I am sure if you look hard enough you can find someone who will perform the services even if it isn't legal binding.

Blessed Be )O(

Answer 4

I always feel that as long as all parties are adult, and willing, then there's no reason against polygamy.

Having said that, it would take much more fortitude and trust on everyone's part than a monogamous relationship would. Human tendancies like jealousy will undoubtedly be exacerbated.

But I still feel it's possible. If you 3 truly love each other and work at it, I'm sure you'll have a meaningful and lasting relationship.

Answer 5

"Crackhead" is quite correct one this one, but i'd expand on it like this:

Assume New Zealand was wiped of people
Then people were put back
The people on the North Island were all "Nuclear Families"
The people on the south island were polygamists, gays, extended families and single parents etc...
The stats (mean income averages) show undeniably that nuclear families are the most successful socio-economic unit.
If this scenario were to play out, the north island would have enough money to buy out and control the south island in 10 years. So as a whole it needs to be stamped out in order to better help the society as a whole succeed. Just look at all the countries around the world that support polygamy such as Pakistan and I think you can figure it out.
It may not be the answer you wanted to hear but that is the reason whether people are conciously aware of it or not.

Answer 6

Some guys have all the luck *sigh*
More power to you, my friend.
Personally I don't see why the government or religion should even get involved. You're all adults, and you all agree to the arrangement, and I assume you all know the kind of emotional risks that are involved. As far as I can see, what you folks do in private is your business. So forget the marriage bit and just live together. Although I am surprised that so far you haven't gotten flamed by the religionists.

Answer 7

It's not a bad thing. Though, relationships are already complicated with just two people. Good luck in yours.

Unfortunately, religious groups have given polygamy a bad name. Christians outlawed it early on, and there was a real conflict over polygamy with the Mormons. That ended up in the Mormons dropping polygamy as one of their tenets (though its still on their books). There are Mormon offshoot groups today that practice polygamy, but they combine it with pedophilia and oppression of females. Hinduism and Islam also allow polygamy, but again they combine it with chauvinistic views.

It doesn't sound like your relationship has pedophilia or chauvinism, so it's not like the religious versions. Still, you'd be hard pressed to get the government to recognize it. They won't even recognize same sex marriage yet.

Answer 8

Circumvent the issue of polygamy by marrying your girlfriend and have a non-religious ceremony with the other (or a non-binding one). Make it at least symbolic. The law is the law, and some cultures have their issues that won't be changed.

Answer 9

It's bad because it makes Christians uncomfortable and in their fantasy world, it challenges their strangle hold on power. Anything that does that to them is to be marginalized.

Answer 10

You're not married are you?

Double the chores. Urgh.