he made this clear when i went shopping and i was 10 min more than i said i would be i dont have a car and i have no family near me all my friend have left because he hates them all and told them all that we are staying with his parents at the monent and i dont know what to do im so lost his brother treats me like im something he stepped in and my partner doesnt say anything about that eithyer.my family knows what hes like but they cant do anythingbecause they live so far away,i dont have my money each week he takes my bank card to work and he doesnt leave the car here some days so i can get out of the house he likes to keep track of what i do ,please if anyone has been down this track before what did you do i need help before i go insane i dont know what to do anymore im not happy.
2007-04-25 18:18:22 · 6 answers · asked by shazz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dear 21 -
Here is 2-cents of advice from a guy (39).
What you have described is called abuse. Just because he does not hit you does not mean he is abusing you. He is in control of you, completely it sounds like. He is keeping his own insecurities under control by controlling you. Without HIM getting help this will only escalate, most likely to physical abuse. If he won't get help, please YOU get some. Get out, RUN......... If you don't believe me that this is abuse, call the Domestic Abuse Council or swing by and get some pamphlets. Please protect yourself before this gets so bad you can't get out.
2007-04-25 18:42:09 · answer #1 · answered by DaysofSweetLight 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man, this guy will make your life miserable. These kind of men don't ever change (unless they have a conversion to Jesus), so I say move on as soon as you can safely do so. He is controlling everything he can so that you cannot get away. There are many excellent books written about this, and about women that are caught in these types of relationships. One I've heard of is "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. You can find that one, and many more at amazon.com. Can you get to a library to read some books? Can you contact your family, tell them you need help, and ask them to come and get you? If it will be an ugly scene, you could try to arrange for them to pick you up away from the house.
I have a 21 year-old daughter, who also has a one year old. Even though we are often strapped for money, if she ever wanted help to come back home to re-group, we would not hesitate to figure out some way to help her, although she lives eight hours away. Your parents may feel the same way, or perhaps an aunt, uncle, or grandparent may just be waiting for you to say 'help!'.
If it gets worse, or you can't figure out a way out, don't hesitate to ask for a women's shelter. When you take your baby to the doctor, you can even ask him about it. He is a trained professional who should know how to quickly get you in touch with a women's shelter, or some other place that can help you. Consider your child, and prayerfully, and CAREFULLY choose. Even leaving can put you in danger, so try to get help from law enforcement or a women's shelter if you are worried about being physically harmed.
2007-04-26 01:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact the battered women's operation, or Domestic Abuse Program in your area. The police department will give you the phone number of whatever program is available to you. Tell them your story and make sure to mention that you are alone and have a child. They will help you get back on your feet.
Also, if you don't want to do that. Contact one of those friends that he doesn't like. Tell them the reason why you have not been in contact with them, and ask for their help.
Another solution is to take the car, when he does leave it and drive to your family. Ask them to wire you enough money for gas to get home (Walmart has a place to wire money, and you can get it within a few minutes after they wire it). When you get there, call him and tell him where he can locate his vehicle. Go immediately and get a restraining order (your local police dept. can tell you how to get one). Tell them what you had to do to get away from him. That way he will not be able to harm you. This is very important, because if he comes around, you can call the police and they will arrest him.
Don't stay there and take that abuse. Verbal mistreatment is abuse too. You do not want your child to grow up in that atmosphere.
2007-04-26 01:52:51 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your parents or family members and see if they could western-union you a check to fly home with your baby. Your bf sounds like a control freak. You could always pay them back once you have a job set up. I wouldn't even tell him you were leaving or where you were going, as I could just imagine how he'd be. The next time you go shopping, just add in more time for you to be able to pick up the check, or find a grocery store that has this. Once you pick up the check, cash it and buy you a plane ticket. Good luck to you hun, you deffinately need to get out of there.
2007-04-26 01:43:37 · answer #4 · answered by Jessie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run for your life girl...that is not love. He just wants someone to bully. Take it from someone who's been there, it will only get worse and then he will start in on the baby. Get out now. Go to the nearest safe place, family, friend, police station. They will get you going in the right direction. Good Luck Hon.
2007-04-26 02:52:32 · answer #5 · answered by lilyvix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you done anything or given him any reason to not trust you? Has any of his previous partners done anything to break his trust? If yes to any of those, then try and sympathize with him and get him to talk his feelings out. If no to either of those, then you are going to need to get out of there, because that road your own leads to big trouble.
2007-04-26 01:40:06 · answer #6 · answered by simonjm2 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋