Not sure why, but there are some people I know who often tell "jokes" about other people's defects - being poor, being single, etc. - which really seem like veiled insults. Often, those on the butt-end of the jokes respond with anger or hurt, but the jokers always respond that it's all in good fun. Is it really "good fun" when the jokes are hurtful?
2007-04-25 15:29:26 · 10 answers · asked by Adele 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
An insult is an insult no matter if you tack on "I'm just kidding" or I'm just teasing. This is passive-aggressive and too me much more of a betrayal than someone just telling me straight up what they don't like.
2007-04-25 15:33:20 · answer #1 · answered by Jackie Oh! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like an Apache saying that jokes are funny and dangerous at the same time. When jokes are taken seriously, they immediately cease being jokes. So when someone is hurt by a 'joke' about a defect, then the joke is no longer a joke. It is an insult.
2007-04-25 15:41:10 · answer #2 · answered by Habitus 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing funny about it. People often make fun of others in order to hide their own weaknesses. Turn the "good fun" around on the jokers and see if they consider it "good fun" then.
2007-04-25 16:49:47 · answer #3 · answered by chatticathi52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Schadenfreude. Lossely translated it means "taking pleasure from the suffering of others." In a good way it's why people watch Jerry Springer or love to see that self-rightious hero finally fail in a cheesy feel-good movie. We are not as bad off as the Springer-ites or no less perfect and human than, even, Super Man.
In a bad way it refers to people who are so insecure about themselves that they must constantly belittle others. They do, however, lack the courage of their conviction. They don't have the b@!!$ to say it outright so they play it off like a joke; like they don't *really* mean it.
In a neutral but misguided way they may simply be trying to deal with an uncomfortable subject. Think about the uber-white person trying to fit in with their token black friend or a skinny person with her token fat friend. They might say things they think make them "a part of the crowd" but really just set them apart and can be offensive.
But in your examples there are easy enough comebacks. Heck, in any stereotypical example there are always easy enough comebacks. If some one is ripping on another for being poor you can just point out how extremely lame that is. You don't need to be funny, just point out how pathetic it is to determine a person's value by their finances and how cruel it is to make jokes based on a person's posessions.
And single? Please. That one's easy. We're not so insecure that we need to define ourselves by our attachment to another. Then remind them that over half of marriages end in divorce where as, I'm sure, at least 90% start out believing they will be one of the couples to make it.
Let them suggest that it's all in good fun. Let them try to make it like you're taking it too seriously. Then remind them that they are making cruel jokes at another's expense. Tell them that they may mean it in good fun but that it isn't fun for you, the person who is the butt of their jokes, or, even, many of those who laugh just to ease the tension.
Good fun doesn't hurt people, whether they are present to hear it or not. Good fun is, actually, good and not mean. No one needs to be sacrificed for truly good fun.
Ok, except for Bush. That's always good fun ;-)
2007-04-25 19:05:46 · answer #4 · answered by ophelliaz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hurtful and nasty. Have you lived at the butt-end of a joke? No "veil is thick enough to cushion that hurt.
2007-04-25 15:37:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if its over someone elses weakness, i think it would be mean. It might depend on how the other person is, but i might be insulted and not like it.
just think about it... when i was a kid i would make fun of people because they couldnt do things, and it made me feel on top... or i would make fun of them cause i couldnt do it myself..
we werent doing it to be playfull and we werent doing it to be nice or encourage them
2007-04-25 15:33:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the persons true intention is to out right hurt the person then they are assmunches and if they start out not trying to hurt someone and it offends someone it was meant to be all in good fun and that is forgivable.
2007-04-25 18:56:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fight would proceed and then the saying " I was only playing"
"surely i joust" and walk away laughing!
2007-04-25 16:53:57 · answer #8 · answered by wifiyah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's fun, but wrong.
2007-04-25 15:36:34 · answer #9 · answered by bsjokerkid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These people are *ssholes. Disassociate yourself with them.
2007-04-25 15:32:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋