suspisions of my dad?

Question

hi,
i am 17 yrs old. i have a real mom, a real dad (no steps) and a sister. my dad loves my mom, and it is not hard to see that. however, my dad would neevr let anyone touch his work laptop. one day i went on it and found the strangest thing, the memory of the websites had websites to chat with mail singles. I thought clearly there must be a mistake, my dad only visits his work webstie and the three 'weird' webistes must be from the guy that used the laptop before he did. but then i went to use his computer agin today, and the three sites were in fresh memory, in the top 5 spots! now, how could this happen? my dad has a wife and 2 children, then why are there male chatting sites, some with some body exposure on his pc?

Answer 1

I had a friend who had a similar problem. She confronted her father and he told her it was a spam problem. She didn't believe him so she watched him day and night when he was on the computer (without his knowledge) and it turned out it really was a spam problem and her father wasn't deliberately going to those sites. Tell your Dad you've been getting porn pop-ups on your own computer and ask him if he's getting the same problem. Maybe that'll clear things up

Answer 2

Sweetie,it comes as a shock to you to find out that your otherwise loving dad has a different side to him from what you are accostumed to see.He is a man and for whatever reason he feels the desire to communicate with male singles,we adults sometimes do things because we can,or because we're bored,maybe in a rut and need something to spice up our lives,I suggest you don't spy on him,after all he has a right to his privacy and if it doesn't affect your family life then no harm done.On the other hand if he starts acting in a strange way then you should tell your mom.

Answer 3

Sometimes in life, everything seems so apple-pie like. Parents who are in love with one another, two children, the perfect job with the white picket fence.

First off, lemme say shame on you for even going on to his pc when he has already asked you not to use. This is the reason why--you stumble on things that you might want not to discover about your parent(s).

People do things in life that they figure society needs them to do. Like your father did. This is not the first time I have heard of this however.

We (my husband and I) know of a man, who was married for 26 years, had two children, and fell into what he felt he had to do. When his children were old enough to understand what happens when parents split, he found it time to stop living the lie that he was in and confessed he was gay. He said that he knew he was gay all along, and went with the norm. This is back to in the late 70's when you were completely shunned, unlike today how most of us are accepting of it.

He still has a very healthy relationship with his children, and he is even a grandfather. He is one of the nicest men that we have ever meant. He treats our kids like they are his grandkids, and it is always nice when the kids like someone.

I think what you should do (and this is only my opinion) since you are 17 and you were doing something that you should not of done in the first place, is to let it go. You had no right to be on that and snoop. You saw it once, then twice. Of course there is going to be cause for wonderment, but is it really any of your business?? I know that you are more than likely thinking about your mom and your sis, but you walked into this one. Maybe talk to your sister and see what she says about confronting him with it. Maybe when your mom is not home you can sit and have a heart to heart. Remember he is your dad, and he loves you no differently even if he is gay. If your sis says to let it go, let it go. If you think that the right thing to do is to ask him, then ask him. Curiousity killed the cat, though.

Answer 4

your father may be hiding a double life or fulfilling a need that he wants to keep secret without acting on it with another person (the websites). if you feel your fathe ris commited to the family you shouldn't really bring this up. it would be akward for you both and might bring up some unwanted drama between the entire family. if he is, he will eventually come out more likely on his own time.

i knew this family whos father ended up coming out. from my perception he married so he wouldn't get the stigmatism gay men got back then. to fulfill the role a "normal" man should play in society. he ended up getting caught in public with a man by a family member. the wife had a massive break down and was institutionalized for a bit of time. because of the unstable home environment after this all happened, the daughter at the age of 17 started to leave home for days and come back occasionally. she was diagnosed with bipolar, had multiple sex partners, and didn't live a safe life. at 18 she was pregnant and she turned her life around in a way. she still had mental issues but her child was her main focus. her younger brother on the other hand stayed home most nights, but was sent to a high school for students who are a danger to others. he then got involved with guys who did meth. he was also a compulsive liar. he eventually got cleaned. with the way their father was brought out, it caused alot of mental harm to the family that is still seen to this day.

just try to think of how much harm this could do to your family if you bring this up. is it really worth it? like the saying goes "ignorance is bliss".

Answer 5

Whoa. Your dad may have some desires you are not aware of. I think the best thing for you to do is stay out of this. You are on the edge of adulthood and many people are not always what they seem. Does not mean he does not love you and your mom.

Answer 6

ask your dad about it first, before you cause a family catastrophe, but if he is bi or gay i feel like your mom has the right to know

Answer 7

ask your dad
he IS looking at that stuff, it IS his stuff

Answer 8

maybe he is bi sexual and is hiding it