Should I agree to never have kids?

Question

My husband already had a child from his first marriage.
When we first got married we put off having kids for a couple of years. Then it got pushed off a few more years. Now my husband says he does not ever want to have any more children, which is not what he said when he married me. I don't know how to react to this. I always wanted a child of my own, and am not permitted by my step-son's mother to take an active role in the raising of my step-son.
I always wanted a child of my own. Is it worth it to have a child that I would leave my husband to go find someone to have one with?

Answer 1

If this is something you want, and I really feel it is, then I would first discuss this with your partner, and explain your feelings, if he is cold to the idea, then wait a day or two and discuss it again, and again, if he isn't interested, then it may be time to move on in the relationship.

Having a child of your own is a priority, and it appears you have discussed this with him when the marriage began, and now he has had a change of heart, well...

too bad...

You entered into the relationship with the intention of having a child with him, not by any means comparing this to contract law, but he is in breach of your marital agreement.

Good luck! I am sure you will make a terrific mother...
 

Answer 2

I'm not saying that this will happen, but this does sound familiar. My wife was in a similar marriage situation where the man was fixed, but said he would get the procedure reversed (this never happened), and as soon as both of his daughters were raised, he filed for divorce and was gone as well. I can proudly say that together we now have a beautiful little girl we can share...a product of a wonderful marriage to a wonderful woman. I respect her enough to make just such a commitment, and as it turns out, I now have two lovely ladies in my life, as well as my son from a previous ah-sh#t which she stepped up to help me raise.
You're in a tough spot. Trapping him will not bring a child into the loving, caring environment that you want and that the child needs. I can't advise you to dissolve a marriage, although unless he does a complete 180, the ball will be in your court. Hearing just your side certainly biases me to justify your resentment, frustration, and anger. I will say that when I married this time, I based my decision on what I brought to the party, not her, and a baby was certainly part of the deal.

Answer 3

You write you do not know how to react to this. I say if you arent absolutely sure you want the 21 yr commitment of a child, then stay with your husband. Even though you are not taking an active role in your step-sons raising, you must see how difficult it is.

Answer 4

Your husband is being very unfair. I don't know why he doesn't want to have anymore children, but if he has decided, then I wouldn't have one with him. If you are even thinking about leaving your husband because you want a child, you may not be in a very good marriage to begin with. Do you feel you were tricked? I would feel tricked and lied to if it was me. I would tell him one last time how to feel. Let him know that you are considering ending the marriage because of this issue. He may tell you his reasons for not wanting to have a child and maybe you can reassure him of a few things.

Good luck to you.

Answer 5

I made the determination to no longer have teenagers yet I truthfully have yet to come upon hostility while putting forward my opinion. ..nicely except I word it crudely like "I hate teenagers!" which i've got been accountable of once or twice. My kin has continually been very supportive. The worst reaction i'm getting is somebody with teenagers guffawing off my stance and asserting how i'm going to alter my recommendations. Frankly i come across that somewhat insulting. i think of if women individuals with teenagers are adversarial in the direction of women individuals with out teenagers, this is because of the fact they sense that by picking to no longer have infants you're disparaging the importance of their place as mothers. My husband thoroughly helps my determination and continually has. So this is somewhat feasible to have a protracted term helpful courting with somebody who would not want infants the two, basically be up front approximately your determination while assembly potential adult males.

Answer 6

Well...he did lie to you to start out with...having a child is a very maternal instinct, very important to A LOT of women. And once you reach a certain age, you cant turn back, its done and over with and you've lost your only chance. I say talk to your husband seriously about this again. Let him know how very important this is to you, and if he still won't change his mind...maybe its time to get out and start searching for Mr. Right.

Answer 7

If you really want a child but go along with you husband...you will resent your husband and end up getting a divorce anyways.

Answer 8

Kids are overrated. One in five women, in the USA don’t want kids. I hear only half that many men don’t want kids. You are blessed.

Why loose your identity to become someone’s mom. It is so not worth it.

You need to ask yourself if you love for him is stronger than your desire to have kids.

Answer 9

If he misled you and will not have kids and you want them, you need to dump him and find some one who wants kids because you will resent him and the marriage will probably end any ways, so you need to be happy.

Answer 10

If he misled you about this, then you have every right to divorce him by reason of fraud. If you are completely sure you want to have children, then what other choice do you have?