My son has decided to get married and is only giving me a month to prepare. It is informal, just vows exchanged in a very small church with immediate family, around 25 people combined. This is my first time, my only son. We haven't any money to spend so the budget is small. I was told I am to supply the food for the wedding rehearsal and the reception. Also clean-up. Is there anything else? I don't want to look foolish, I haven't met her parents and won't until the day of the wedding, they live out of town. Do I also supply the wedding cake? I understand her parents are more broke than I am, what are their responsibilities? The kids ( they are 21) already have a dress, a suit and rings. Do I also supply the decorations for the reception? Oh, dear. I know I just can't afford this! Please help!
2007-04-25 13:33:41 · 8 answers · asked by Baw 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
What about dividing the total cost by 3...you, the kids, and his parents. You can have the small wedding at the church, and have cake and punch outside (if the church doesn't have a room or hall). Is there a park near the church? Minimal decorations will be needed, as you can set the cake and punch on one picnic table, with a small centerpiece. Add some balloons and a money tree to be added to by the guests. A portable CD player can be used if music is wanted.
The day isn't about how much money is spent, but how much love is shared.
2007-04-25 13:47:05 · answer #1 · answered by GracieM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well traditionally, the brides parents pay for almost everything. The grooms parents pay for the rehearsal dinner and perhaps the brides flowers.
Why don't you just have cake and punch at the reception instead of food? With a small wedding, you don't need a rehearsal dinner, but if you decide to serve dinner, do it at home inexpensively. There is no reason to spend a lot of money that you don't have. Don't worry about decorating for the reception. Everything will turn out fine.
By the way, both sides of the family should help you clean up afterwards.
Good luck, everything will turn out just fine without a lot of money being spent.
2007-04-25 20:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In simple terms: The groom's family is responsible for the rehearsal dinner and clean up after the dinner. The bride's family is responsible for the reception, cake and any other wedding expenses except the cost of the minister, which the groom is responsible for. That is the old traditional standard. In this day and age, folks tend to mix things up according to what they want and are able to do. In this case, both "kids" are adults and if the wedding they want will place a financial burden on either of their families, they should pay for all aspects of it themselves. If they can't afford what they want, now is an excellent time to learn the definition of living within one's means.
On that note I will share with you something that was my favorite wedding present almost 29 years ago. Embroidered on a small pillow was this lovely and very true saying:
"A wedding is an event. A marriage is an achievement."
Let the young couple have the wedding THEY can afford. If they want something more, they can begin saving their own funds and renew their vows in a few years with a bigger event.
2007-04-25 20:47:27 · answer #3 · answered by CountryLady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm they really stuck it to you, didn't they? Traditionally you aren't responsible for all that, but I can tell you're a loving mom and want to do the best you can for your only son.
Broke or not, the couple and the bride's family shouldn't be sticking you with all the expenses AND the work! I can see that since her parents are from out of town they won't be able to help with the preparations, but contact them about their share of the expenses. If they won't contribute.. I suggest a real scale-back on what you do.
For that small a wedding.. you don't need a rehearsal dinner.. probably not even a rehearsal! If no one is helping you with the wedding meal.. well 25 people is not that bad. Cold cuts, buns, salads, and fruit and veggie trays are easy inexpensive do-aheads, and Costco makes lovely sheet cakes that are great for weddings. You don't need a multi-tiered monster for a small group!
I'd sit down and talk to the kids and be very frank about what you can afford to do for them, and how much work you're willing to put into the wedding. YOU should not be responsible for cleaning everything up.. out of the 25 people coming, all immediate family, surely some of them will be willing to help out! I'm betting that if you ask for some help, you'll be swamped with offers of food and assistance!
Good luck, mother-in-law to be :)
2007-04-29 02:40:50 · answer #4 · answered by endorable 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Considering you were given only a month's notice, I would think you are providing enough already. However, if you are not sure, why not put in an introductory call to the bride's parents? Maybe you could split some of the extras? Also, you can decorate pretty cheap with white (or whatever the bride's colors are) balloons, streamers and tulle. Good luck!
2007-04-25 20:46:55 · answer #5 · answered by lady8cmd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask friends to help, Decorations can go from church to reception, Hope it goes well.
2007-04-25 20:44:07 · answer #6 · answered by bongobeat25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The couple should be paying for their own wedding.
There should have already been a meeting between the couple and both sets of parents to plan. Get this done asap.
2007-04-26 08:38:05 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do whatever you can to help without being a pain. Ask them what you can contribute.
2007-04-25 20:49:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋