Do i have the right to be mad at her?

Question

Long story short..im in love with this guy ...were not in a relationship but we have known each other for 12yrs ..we have been sexual though and im not the type of girl to be with a guy whos with alot of other girls so I asked my bestfriend which is his sister to tell me if he does anything because im done after that..well this past weekend I slept with him and found out on sunday he had been with another girl and she didnt want to hurt me and he asked her not to tell me..do i have the right to be mad? or was i wrong for putting her in the middle of me and her brother?

Answer 1

Well, although she is your friend you have to understand that family loyalites come first with a lot of people. You have "the right" to be mad, but you don't have a real reason. You don't have a relationship with him other than sex friends. Although you love him, you don't have the stability of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. You chose to have sex with him knowing he is not completely committed to you and may seek out others, using you as needed. Its harsh I know, but I found myself in almost the same thing and it hurts to know they don't feel the same, but you feel so much love for them that after a vow of not doing it anymore, you find yourself doing it so that you can be with him. Your being used, and it bothers you, but not enough to do anything real about it. Just use protection and keep friends close, because the day he decides to be with someone other than you exclusively you are going to need friends and kleenex. I wish I could help you before your heart is broke, but I am not telling you anything you don't already know deep inside. I know because right now its happening to me too. Our hearts can make us stupid sometimes.

Answer 2

I guess I would let it go with the sister...although she probably should have told you that her brother is a player before you were with him...maybe she didnt know. I might ask her if she knew he was like that and why she didnt tell you. But stuff like this happens alot...the only person who did something deliberately wrong and hurtful was the brother. He sounds like a manwhore. Run away from those kinds if you are lucky enough to catch on to their ways....thats all you can do.

Answer 3

You were wrong when you involved other people to spy on this guy. This is so immature and just plain ridiculous.

You are NOT in a relationship with him, NOR are you married, or engaged so you really have no say in what he does.

It's sad for me to read that you are just sleeping with him without at least a commitment to you and you alone. So basically, you have no right to be mad at all!

Set some rules, set some standards for yourself.

Answer 4

That is a good question. You probably should not have put her in the middle of it. Afterall that is her brother and your friend. I suppose I would be a little mad at her but then I would have to think of the reason behind her not telling me. She was in a tough position. Forgive her and try not to get her in the middle of things between her brother and yourself.

Answer 5

if you are mad you are mad. you don't have to have a right to be mad.
Another question is if your expections are the wrong ones. Definitely yes.

If I have sex without a relationship then I should not be so naive and think that I am the only one. This is probably the reason why he does not have a relationship with you.

Answer 6

Why would you be mad at her? You not only have no right but no reason. NO GOOD REASON THAT IS. I mean if you should be mad at anybody it should be him but you can't tell him you know because then that would mean his sister betrayed him and that will cause even more drama. oh and FYI sex doesn't create a relationship....just saying...it doesn't create a bond it could make one stronger but he obviously has more bonds to share so to speak. I suggest you quit sleeping with him until you guys are ready to be in a mature relationship.

Answer 7

I don't think you have the right since you're the one mistaking sex for love. You knew before you got with him that he was a player and now your asking your friend to get in middle. Madonna slept with a bunch of guys for sheer sexual pleasure, there was no commitment involved . She knew what she was doing. Men respect women like that and hate dumb broads who expect love in exchange for sex.
I suggest you think about what it is that you really want from this guy and what he's willing to give. Sounds like he just wants to be friends with benefits. Take it or leave it.

Answer 8

You shouldn't be mad. It's not fair to try and come between a brother and sister. It's not fair to try and come between anyone like that. If you don't trust him you shouldn't have had sex with him. And if you aren't in a relationship you can't be concerned about who he is with anyway. Don't sleep with him anymore if you want a relationship with him. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

Answer 9

Not fair to put her in the middle* That's her brother, flesh and blood-family and you are her best friend...it must have been hell for her having to keep this from you but I guess she did what she thought was right.
I'm sure she knows you're hurt by all of this, and how horrible you must be feeling, but she's also hurting knowing she couldn't tell you* I think you need to sit down and talk this out with her and with your boyfriend* GOODLUCK*

Answer 10

She told you the truth because she loves you and wants to save your feelings when it comes to him, but you really shouldn't have put her in the middle of the situation because now you probably want to confront him and tell him he's a liar and what not, and you will have to say that she told you...

I would just start ignornig him, dont really pay him any attention if he trys talking to you when you see him, just dont put your best friend in a bad situation with her brother.