Is an 8 month old too young to be popped on the hand after being told no don't touch and still he does it?

Question

I have whatnots around the house i dont move them when he touches them because i want him to know that that is where they go and they are gonna stay there and he is gonna leave them alone. But when he messes with them I tell him no and move him away from them several times and redirect him to a safe zone with toys but he goes right back after them. Just by matter of opinion is he too young to be popped some people i know say he is but then again when i pop the inside palm of his and one time and tell him no he leaves them alone for the most part but some people say i shouldnt do that he is too young what do you think?

Answer 1

no it is not. jjust don't really hurt him. just enough to get your point accross.

Answer 2

I think that you are doing the right thing by reinforcing the "no" part when you move him away several times before doing the hand thing. I don't think that he is too young to have his hand popped, but the question is "how hard are you popping him?"
If it's a simple tap to get his attention, then I don't feel that it's inappropriate, but if it's hard, then yes, that isn't right for a child so young.
As an alternative, you may want to get something to block that area off, and then move him to the other side of it when he begins to mess with those items.
What happens is when they get older, the taps on the hand will progress to other forms of physical punishment. Some children can be handled throughout their life with the smallest of attention-getters, while others are not phased by this, no matter how severe the physical gets. This in itself can lead to child abuse without the parent even realizing it, which results not only in physical damage but mental as well.
I would be the last person on earth to try and tell you how to raise your own child, but I will caution you as to the early and continued use of physical punishment.

Answer 3

You have inadvertantly stumbled on one of the most controversial topics in child development. This is a very controversial question with scientist and activists lining up on both side to promote or demonize physical punishment and the real truth is none of the expert know. Some state that physically punishing a child can scar them for life leading to other problems while others attest that physical punishment is an important part of parenting. You will have to decide this for yourself based on your own family values.
That being said the answer to your question is this. By punishing your 8 month old you are creating what is called an aversion situation rather than teaching the child not to perform an act. Both accomplish the same result which is your child will stop reaching out to the objects but rather than understanding the rules and what he did as wrong he is merely avoiding the pain. Furthermore at 8 months old your child does not understand what "no" or "don't" mean, and you expecting him too is an unrealistic expectation. Your 8 month old however does know how to read your mood by your body language, tone, and speech inflection. Babies and Toddlers are very good at learning what actions can manipulate their parents to a desired response. That being said you can accomplish the same aversion response from your child without physically touching them by Tone, Inflection, and body language. One of my favorite tactics was to raise my voice say "No" in short sharp tone and then while holding their hand smake my own hand with a loud pop. This usually was enough. Too bad it does not work on teenagers.

Answer 4

Raise your child the best way you see fit. Let "some people" raise their bratty kids and you raise your respectful and obedient child. When you move you furniture and don't discpline you child, you teach him that the world will move out of the way for him. That's not so. He is learning at his age. If you have moved him away from that same spot 5 or 6 times and said "no", then he knows he that he shouldn't be doing that. If you just keep moving him, he will think it is a game. If you pop him and say no at the same time, he will know that it is not a game and that mommy doesn't want him touching that. Don't under estimate your child. You are doing the right thing.

Answer 5

I think you are absolutely right. It's unreasonable to expect to rearrange your entire home, (not including anything unsafe obviously) for a little one.

Also, it teaches them that some things aren't for little fingers, so that when you visit someone else who has nick knacks out, they will already know not to touch. If they are constantly in a sterile environment, then when they are in new surroundings, it's suddenly looks like an amusement park of new "touchy" things. If they are used to things being around all the time they are to leave alone, it won't be such a novelty.

As long as you're only hitting enough to make a point and get his attention and not too hard, then it is fine. My daughter learned early and still knows today that there are things for children and things for adults. I've never been afraid to leave anything around her, except obvious no no's like medication and candles, etc. :-)

Answer 6

People like you make me so mad! You are not educated in child development! Or maybe you are playing devil's advocate or just testing to see what kind of reaction you will get. This is not about you. The focus should be your child. As the above person said, infants are tactile. They use touching, and tasting a lot at this stage to help them learn about the world around them. Babies don't know cause and effect on that level. Their brains are underdeveloped. You need to child proof your home. What's the matter with you? What you are doing is harming your child's sense of his natural exploration of the world around him. His hands help him learn! Saying No all the time is also bad for language development. I agree with another poster-put the items out of reach, and have the home child-proofed in other ways until he's at least 5 years old.

An 8 month old baby does not know how to exercise judgement in terms of what he can and cannot touch. He is driven by his own natural curiosity. He should be encouraged to explore the world around him, and not told "no" and "don't" which is very bad for language development. Use no very sparingly, like if he is trying to pull your hair- again because he is a very tactile creature, but in that case pair it up with "pulling hair hurts" or better still take his hands and show him how to touch your hair nicely and say "nice touching." Also I think you are missing the boat. Enjoy your baby. This is supposed to be an easy going bonding time between parent and child, not setting your son up for frustration and failure.

Answer 7

no...you are NOT abusing a child by poppin him on the hard come on now people give it a rest.....if he isnt listening to NO then sometimes a lil pop does the trick so dont let people make u believe that you are abusing the child!! because its these peopel who complain that have out of control children who run havoc and pee off everyone else! keep him in check before its too late

Answer 8

I agree that you may want to put some of the items "up" or "away" for a few more months, but we started teaching our son from the beginning about things not to touch. Not sure what you mean by "popping" your child's hand, but we used to "flick" his hand if he touched something that he shouldn't, especially if it was something dangerous to him. "Flick" meaning like you are "flicking" a piece of lint off your shirt or shooting marbles (using your middle finger and thumb).

I am all for redirecting a child but when they are doing something dangerous to themselves such as going after a plug or grabbing at something that could fall and hurt them, I think you also need to get their attention so that they learn NOT to do it again. Some may say 8 months is too young to understand, but my theory was to teach him from the beginning so that he wasn't "confused" that he used to be able to do something, but now he can't. Just my 2 cents. :)

Good luck.

Answer 9

An 8 month old child does not yet have the mental capacity to understand that his behaviour is wrong and that is why you are slapping him.
If your items are so important to you, put them in a safe place and only bring them down when he is old enough to understand they are not to play with.

Answer 10

Babies are tactile creatures, they learn by touching, feeling, putting things in their mouths. To excpect an infant to understand "no" and to remember "no" from one minute to the next is setting both you and the baby up for a lot of frustration. (From experience I have learned that some children never take no for an answer. I have a younger brother in his mid 40's now who has gotten into a lot of trouble for that reason).

If you value your child and your whatnots, put the whatnots out of reach until the baby is older.

Answer 11

It's not that he's too young, it's that you're setting him up to fail. It is much kinder and safer to the baby to put these things up for now and bring them back when he is old enough for impulse control. That really isn't until he's nearly three. A good parent does not expect more from a child than he can reasonably do.