I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years, he has always been jealous of other men especially if they are my age as i am 22 and he is 33, it didnt feel lie that much of a problem until the other week when i went ot for the first time in yearswith my mates and i couldnt even look at a lad or seak to the man at the bar for a drink. How can i show my partner that no matter what men are around they are no threat to us? My friend wants me to go out again in a couple of weeks but im worried abou howhe will react because i never go out? What shall i do?
xxxxxx
2007-04-25 10:45:08 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well Nat your boy friend has a severe paranoia problem, you cannot live your life like this, you have a life aswell. I used to be the same years ago, but as time went on it became less and less, it had to because eventually I would have lost my girlfriend who I was seeing at the time.
Get yourself out again, he will have to change. A relationship is all about trust. Enjoy your night out.
2007-04-25 10:57:13 · answer #1 · answered by ruthlessstuart 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Okay.. wow... i did the math there... you were 15 when you started to date this guy.. I'm not sure what country you are from.. but in the USA it is illegal for a 26 yr old to date someone that young... So i'm assuming first that you live somewhere else.... Second...you are only 22... he is 33... I would honestly give it some thought about serious commitments at that age... I'm his age and I can tell you that I honestly feel that being in my 20's I was not ready for commitments.. I wanted to meet men my age and at my level that I could have fun with... .. I just think you have been with that guy too long and you are starving yourself of potential to be with really great guys that could offer you more than jealousy... take care..
2007-04-25 17:53:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why, after 7 years together, he still has so little faith in you, so little trust, that you cannot even go out with your friends on occasion. Unless you've ever given him a reason to doubt you, it's pretty ridiculous and he's being controlling. If he can't give you one good reason that he's like this, I would tell him it's not going to work out then. No trust makes for no relationship, you know? I'm sure he's insecure because you're younger and he doesn't want to lose you to some younger guy, but by locking you up, he's only going to make you resent him in the long run. Good luck :)
2007-04-25 17:53:33 · answer #3 · answered by melissa_53105 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend needs to know that you won't cheat on him with everyman that you see. Tell him and tell him that it is an insult for him to treat you like you cannot be trusted around me. Also, it is not healthy for him to prevent you from hanging out with your friends and if this continues it could get worse. it is probably that he is insecure about loosing you because you are so much younger than him. Treat him as the immature fragile ego-maniac that he is and gently remind him that you have been with him for seven years and that it is about time he trusted you. You are much younger than him and by the way, if you are now 22 and you have been with him for 7 years and he is now 33 and he has been with you for seven years that means that when he was 26 and you were 15 he was a pedophile. That coupled with his insecurity, immaturity, jealousness, and domination of you are all signs that you should end it anyway... but, if you want to continue in this relationships it has to be with him treating you as the woman you have become and not the child he probably still imagines you to be ( the child he seduced ).
2007-04-25 17:54:14 · answer #4 · answered by Don Quesadia 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you guys both have issues. Why would you want to be with a guy for 7 years that behaves like an irrational fool? And why would he want to be with a woman, who allows her self to be held back and bossed around like a child. I know Love isn't perfect, but in my world it’s not suppose to suppress either. If I was you, I’d tell him to get a grip of himself. And then i'd do the same!
2007-04-25 18:59:28 · answer #5 · answered by kosslyn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have given him any reason which I suspect you haven't, his jealousy is completely unreasonable, and in time this will probably damage your relationship. I agree with an earlier answer that you won't change him so you need to decide for yourself if there is a future in this relationship. As you met him at such an early age he is unlikely to be the only love of your life.
2007-04-25 17:54:27 · answer #6 · answered by Steve 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If this guy acts like this now..you will never believe what an issue this could be. If he acts very possesive over you..this is the early signs of what could turn out to be an abusive relationship. The best thing for you to do though, is to probably talk to him about this...if your to scared to talk to him about it...i would definitly get out of that relationship because if your scared of him, it cannot turn out good. He thinks that no matter what he's gonna have control over you. You can't give guys that kind of control...it could turn into a disaster...believe me...i've seen this before. I hope for the best of luck with you and this situation..and maybe my words could help you. :)
2007-04-25 17:54:04 · answer #7 · answered by singerandadrumma 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatly a jealous mate is hard to break. Its about building trust, yet with all the building you do, sometimes that trust is lacking in that one lil area.
Men and women alike are uneasy with their signifcant other talking to others mainly for lack of esteem. Maybe he is afraid he is going to loose you to someone who treats you better, or that gives you more freedom, or maybe someone in his eyes that is better looking or flat out can provide better for you.
You can try explaining to him your not going to leave him for anyone else, yet you might be explaining this for years to come. Best of luck!!
2007-04-25 17:52:08 · answer #8 · answered by ~???~Twisted Angel~???~ 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about how his jealousy is affecting the relationship (and you). If you've been together for 7 yrs, then there's a serious problem here...he needs to get OVER it.
Why doesn't he trust you? And if it's not trust, but control then that's a whole different issue...
You need to speak to whom you want, and look at whom you want...if he doesn't like it, then HE needs to get counseling or work out his issue...it's not fair to punish you because he's got insecurities or control problems...
2007-04-25 17:50:51 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is jealous and you can not change him.....he is 11 years older than you and he may feel that the age difference in later years you may want a younger man....
He will always be jealous....either live with it or leave.
2007-04-25 17:54:01 · answer #10 · answered by 2muchcoffee 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋