Have been with my boyfriend for a yr. We are perfect together. He was married before and ended badly, she cheated on him and moved out of the house after only about a 1 1/2 of being married. The problem I have is his ex wife. She has not lived at his house for almost 2 years. First problem is her mail still comes to his house. He use to bring her mail to her at her work, now he just puts her new address on it & puts it back in the mailbox. He also will not come straight out & tell me when he talks to her. If I ask him he will tell me. He says whenever he does talk to her it is only when he has to not for pleasure talk. Well their divorce has been over with for a long time. There really should not be any thing that they should need to talk about. If that was me I would not want to have any thing to do with her. Need a opinion about this? I trust him very much & I know he would not cheat & I know I am not being nieve about this. Just cannot figure out why he puts up with her.what do I do
2007-04-25 09:45:56 · 4 answers · asked by butterfly_2blue 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's none of your business. Stay out of it and let him handle things with his ex the way he feels he needs to.
He obviously had feelings for her at one time and probably still cares what happens to her. Let them work though their stuff. It has nothing to do with you.
2007-04-25 09:51:24 · answer #1 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as the mail still coming to his house, he could always have her fill out a change of address so that her mail will then be mailed at her address. It appears he is using this as an excuse to still communicate with her. He might be carrying old baggage from the painful breakup and is having a hard time letting go. Him not telling you he talks to her is because of his respect for your feelings, but he is not being completly honest about this. If there are no children involved, and the divorce has been over for a time now, then I see no reason for them to continue to have conversations especially because she cheated. I would look real close into this before I got myself more involved with him.
2007-04-25 10:00:35 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This woman may be getting some pleasure out of interferring with your relationship. Is she? Can you honestly say your boyfriend is totally over her? Really, honestly? It is natural to have trouble getting over this sort of hurt. It may be part of his greiving process to need to be "ok" with her for awhile. Your choices are to give him time and be his rock and let the clock run out. Or decide you don't want the aggravation. If you are showing alot of jealousy, this relationship is not going to get better. Something is up--within you or with her or her and him. That's what you need to know. I have complete symathy for you because I was in the same boat and it ended badly. HOWEVER, that said, you also should be aware that once you take away the man's chase, the fun is over for him. Jealousy and possessiveness disolve the chase. Threats to leave do nothing to restore it. Get busier with your own life, and be genuine with this man. Do not manipulate the sitution--just take care of you and wait to see if this relationship is the best deal for you--it may not be. Right now, you don't know. Time--time is your friend.
2007-04-25 09:59:34 · answer #3 · answered by P M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If they don't have kids together, there is absolutely no reason for him ever to talk to her again. I would be concerned, if her mail is still getting delivered there, and they are still communicating, it sure seems like he's not willing to let go.
Good luck!
2007-04-25 09:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by Valerie S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋