Here's the situation....a few times lately, I've had to remind my son to remove his hands from his pants; I thought he was fondling his testicles (a very private matter), but as it turned out, he had his finger in his rear (also a very private matter). I know there are straight men who enjoy this, but is it something a (future) straight boy discovering his sexuality is likely to do?
Before you all flame me----I am asking for knowledge, not out of judgement. My job is to help him to grow into a strong man, which I can better do if know which issues he may face.
We talk about love and sex as openly as is appropriate, but he is not comfortable opening up with me about his burgeoning feelings. So I am left doing some preparatory research.
Also--PLEASE NO FLIPPANT OR ABUSIVE ANSWERS -- Please keep in mind that I am asking out of love for this most precious person in my life. I am truly looking for insight, and I do not wish to have anyone denigrate my child or my parenting.
2007-04-25 09:40:31 · 13 answers · asked by Cat 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I think this is all about growing and reaching that magical age of the begining of adulthood, I tend to think with the others that this is normal, please try to explain that the feelings he has are ok but he needs to do this in private and not around other people. In all honesty this is somthing a striaght male at that age would do, but then again it also could be the other way as well. Eleven is a time of much confusion and I am sure this will work itself out in time and you just need to be as supportive as possible through it.
Hope this helps.
2007-04-25 09:57:35 · answer #1 · answered by rich c 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Exploring his own body is completely normal and will have nothing to do with whether he's straight or gay. A lot of kids will go through experiments out of curiosity, wondering what this and that feels like, but it doesn't necessarily signal what their sexuality will be like. When I was about that age I wrestled a little with a girlfriend of mine and it had slightly sexual feel... but it turns out as a grown-up I have no interest in women that way.
Great job in having open conversations with your son. I think that's the very best thing you could do to help with whatever issues of any kind he may face - let him know you're there for him and that he can talk to you.
2007-04-25 10:02:21 · answer #2 · answered by KC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If It were my son I would watch carefully to see if I can get an idea of his bowel habits. if he is getting constipated or having diarrhea from time to time it may be causing some irritation in there and that may be inducing the "exploration" in there. A doctor can then offer some help to relieve the irritation. I don't believe that it could possibly mean he's gay. There are nerves in that area that give a pleasure sensation when a person has a bowel movement to encourage the regular emptying of the bowels. He may be exploring that sensation a little as well. As his parent you are not going to harm him if you tell him that putting his fingers in there will spread germs. It is similar to the whole nose picking concept. If you catch him make sure he washes his hands and tell him that he can make himself or others very ill by spreading those germs.
2007-04-25 10:06:02 · answer #3 · answered by tallgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
camping out can get intense priced fairly in case you do not have a tent sound asleep bag ice chest plus you're able to purchase food because sometime the fish do not bite. even as i replaced into lil we had a call from a celebration or grants and we regularly had it at a park. in case you seem on the cost it isn't that undesirable. Kool help for beverages some $2 bags of balloons $a million.50 ribbon 3 bags of the blend sweet $4 a bag for goodie bags, $2 container of sandwich bags a $20 cake, (dollar keep) a container of plastic forks $2 and paper plates $2.
2016-12-04 20:55:27 · answer #4 · answered by luci 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sticking a finger in the rear is more common in straight men then they will lead you to believe. They love it. However a boy cannot be sexually stimulated to ejaculate until they reach puberty. I would not get to hung up on him being gay yet. Do not even plant that seed. Tell him not to put things in his rear, as it is dangerous, and he could hurt himself. And he should most certainly be doing his private boy matters in his bedroom alone.
2007-04-25 12:02:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's doing it because it feels good, and right now it has nothing to do with being gay. It's just something he does because it feels pleasurable. Just tell him that there is an appropriate time and place to do some things, remind him that what he is doing should be done in private. And remind him to wash his hands when he's done. Good Luck.
2007-04-25 11:06:21 · answer #6 · answered by nimo22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like normal kid curiosity. But if you start noticing it is a frequent occurrence, or other behaviors that start showing up you might want to talk to him.
If he is not talking to you then have him speak to his dad (if this is the situation- you did not mention Dad); or another male fatherly figure that your son looks up to.
2007-04-25 09:57:53 · answer #7 · answered by kaya m 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was just gonna say that children are not gay, The gay comunity would like them to believe that, but it has to be their lifestyle, not even if they may have had a experience, that doesnt make them gay. What you are describeing though sounds grose, I wounder what parents are letting their kids watch on t.v. or what they are listening to on their ipods??? go buy him a bible, they have some really cool ones out there for teens. Just dont ever let him know you are questioning this.
2007-04-25 13:24:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Have you asked him why he does this? Maybe it because of a medical reason. Could it be possible that he has worms? I've heard of children touching themselves down there because they are itchy. No joke. Maybe you should have him checked out.
2007-04-25 10:19:36 · answer #9 · answered by Cutie Pie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a sexual thing this is a sign of pain like when pooing. ask him if hes having problems going number 2 and take him to the doctor
2007-04-25 09:58:24 · answer #10 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋