my therapist is really amazing. we share the same taste in music and movies and other things. so sometimes i feel as though i am talking with a friend, although i know i am not. i know it is a professional relationship..i feel like we would be friends if we weren't patient and therapist. so, unrealistically, i wish she would care more about me, or that we could go on walks or go to the movies or she could tell me her problems and i would try to helo her. it's completely ridiculous, i know that. i admit i have a crush on her too..but she is engaged and also straight..i am gay. anyways...do i tell her all this? if i do, i'd probably have to stop seeing her. if i don't, well these feelings way on my mind and sort of sometimes get in the way of sessions b/c i'm wishing she could be this or that. i know it will never be the way i want..i guess i have to just try not to think about it. any suggestions?
2007-04-25 09:26:28 · 10 answers · asked by flyingprimate 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
i have been a therapist at one time before i retired from the mental health field. as a professional , it has happened to me also, but not to the extreme you say your feelings are. i consider myself warm and caring, and concerned when i was a therapist, but i would not become emotionally involved with my clients as this would be difficult for me, and perhaps not healthy for the clients. i think you feel this way because it is safe for you. you feel that she will not hurt you, you trust her, and you may be sexually attracted to her. that in itself is not so terrible for you to feel that way, even if you know it is hopeless. if you told her about your feelings, the worst thing that could happen to you is that, if she is professional, then perhaps she would have some new goals, and therapy for you to work on. such as bringing up your confidence and self esteem, so that you will work on getting into a relationship that is healthy for you, and with another girl. pehaps if you believe in yourself, you may find that right girl, for you , and perhaps with the guidance and help of your therapist.. it may be best for you not to see her but that is up to you and your therapist .the worst that could happen if u do not see her, may be that you may find a relationship that is more real and viable .good luck to you hope this helps you.
2007-04-25 14:28:00 · answer #1 · answered by zeek 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask For Another Therapist! This Is Hurting You! This Is Not Helping You At All! You Should Not Being Seeing Her As A Friend ! Because You May Have A Hard Time Breaking Away When Ever Therapy Is ALL OVER! This May Put You Into Addiction! To Get Sick So You Can See Her! Just Ask For Another Therapist At The Appointment Desk! You Do Not Have To Tell Them Why! She More Than Likely Already Knows! Just Tell The Appointment Desk Person You Like To Try Talking With New Therapist On The Team!
Good Luck!
What Is This Therapist Doing! This Therapist Is NOT Your Friend, And She Should Act Like A Therapist!!!
2007-04-25 16:50:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one. Truth is that a friendship with your therapist is not likely a possibility. If it is, then you are getting a friend, but moving on to another therapist, who might not do as good of a job. All therapists are not created equal. The truth is, however, that this is not likely what would happen. You can't have it both ways. There is actually a clinical term for what you are experiencing (the term escapes my mind at the moment), so your therapist is very well aware of what you may be feeling. You are not in the wrong to want to discuss those feelings on a professional level, but you will not likely get the result you wish for. You will likely get the "here is the clinical reason you are feeling this way, and here are some strategies for avoiding feeling that way." At worst, if you approached the subject in the wrong way, you could lose a therapist AND a friend.
That said, it is natural to feel the way you do, and your therapist knows this. If you breech the subject the right way, they may actually have some ideas for you on how to handle it. The key is to recognize up front that the feelings you are having are natural, and not going to lead into anything. For example, "I wanted to talk about something that I am uncomfortable with. I know that patients can develop feelings for their therapists, and that this is a natural way to feel, but of course, I know realistically that we need to maintain a professional relationship. I want to preserve that professional relationship, because I respect you too much as a therapist to jeopardize my progress, and I wondered if there were any good strategies for me to manage my feelings."
If the therapist actually WANTS a friend, as unlikely and foolish as it might be, she'll let you know. But don't get your hopes up. Likely MOST of her patients feel the same way. Concern yourself with keeping a good patient-therapist relationship, which is much more necessary and likely, and you'll be better off.
I hope that helps. Everyone's experiences are different, so don't take what I've said as gospel, but odds are I am right. Good luck!
2007-04-25 16:43:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my suggestion is that you be completely honest about your feelings with her. She may or may not keep you as a client. But it is not unusual for people in therapy to get a crush on their therapist. Please be honest, if you are not, you will only hurt the progress you have already made. I am sure she has had cases like this before and knows how to make it easier on you.
2007-04-25 16:32:56 · answer #4 · answered by Moody Red 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...
Business is seperate from pleasure (as everyone says)
Its best not to mix the two because what if something in your friendship goes wrong...
Its going to affect how and what you say to her...
My best suggestion if things are going great for you now.. just keep it as it is =)
God Bless
2007-04-25 16:32:17 · answer #5 · answered by J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They call it transference. It happens frequently between client and counselor
2007-04-25 16:30:28 · answer #6 · answered by jonnyraven 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is part of the therapy it is called transference and she is trained to deal with it and use it to help you tell her
2007-04-25 16:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by Nora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell her about it. She's a professional and will treat it in a professional manner.
2007-04-25 16:35:12 · answer #8 · answered by Teia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no never. once one of my relative who is a doctor became my counselor. he seemed to be very shocked to know that i have a depression. he thought we were a happy family.
2007-04-26 07:44:29 · answer #9 · answered by ★japanese lady★ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don, have one!!!!
2007-04-25 20:53:46 · answer #10 · answered by Ellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋