see he has been working crazy hours lately and we havent spent any time together except talking on the phone and i was there before he got the job.. could i just be jealous?
2007-04-25 09:20:21 · 18 answers · asked by Stormie k 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I suggest you read a book that's been out for quite a long time, called "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." It will tell you exactly how to handle this situation, and it will give you an understanding that will help you understand what's going on in his "man's world."
Be patient. Men are like rubber-bands (no insult intended to any man reading this). He will eventually spring back to you. If you chase him or confront him about his not being with you, it will only cause him to feel smothered and put undue pressure on him to meet your needs, which in turn will drive him even farther away.
Give it time. If you don't' pressure him, he will think to himself what an amazing woman he really has. And, no, these feelings of jealousy are normal. Just don't let the "green-eyed monster" raise its ugly head. You'll regret it.
The fact that he is a man who wants to spend "crazy hours" working is something to celebrate, not criticize. Think about that one for a while next time you are feeling sorry for yourself about his not spending any time with you. Get a hobby. That way his being away won't be so difficult for you to endure.
Men feel good about themselves when they feel they are successful at something. Perhaps he's feeling a bit inadequate lately. Perhaps, only maybe, you have inadvertently made him feel this way by trying to push him into more intimacy when he really isn't there right now.
I reiterate: WAIT.
I truly hope this was helpful to you. Good luck.
2007-04-25 09:40:06 · answer #1 · answered by pinkhawaiian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've asked a couple of questions all at once. Could you be jealous? Possibly. But only you can know that for sure.
As far as telling him you need him....I would reconsider that idea. In a lot of ways, guys are like a handful of sand. The harder you try to hold on, the more they slip through your fingers.
You need to find out whether he's working crazy hours in order to earn more money to build a secure life with you or if he's working crazy hours with another girl.
The fastest way to lose a guy is to accuse him of cheating when he's not.
I think you need to look into your heart and at your life and see if your answers are there. All I can offer is speculation. Hang in there. :)
2007-04-25 09:32:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he needs to work, but if he wants to keep his relationship, too, he needs to strike a balance. Just tell him that you miss him since you haven't been able to see each other much and would appreciate it if he would make some time for you in his off hours. If he's working a lot of overtime, ask him to cut back his hours some.
Some hard questions to consider:
Are you sure it's just a job that's keeping him?
Is he maybe trying to tell you he doesn't want to 'be' anymore?
If the answers are favorable to your relationship and if his overtime is voluntary, then he needs to take some time and dedicate it to his relationship with you. It is possible to have both and he'd better wake up before he loses you.
cs
2007-04-25 09:28:13 · answer #3 · answered by pintobns 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be (jealous) because you don't "need" him at all...you simply want to spend time with him. A "need" is something we can't live without, and although you may be bummed, the truth is that you can live without him.
Let him know that you miss him and would like for the two of you to put more effort into spending more time together. People tend to be able to find a way and the time, to do things they really want to do.
Good luck!
2007-04-25 09:25:32 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are.Find something to keep yourself busy while he's working.
Life is hard.We need to work to make money and have a good life.Give him credit for being a hard worker.You wouldn't like it if he were the other way and didn't care.
Maybe you could get a job working the same hours as he does.
2007-04-25 09:27:10 · answer #5 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealous of his job. It has become his mistress. Some men are like this and can't be changed, others can. I hope a good talk with some tears will do the trick.
2007-04-25 09:26:35 · answer #6 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not jealously, it's your feelings. You were used to him being there and now he's not as much. Try to think of it this way, I'm sure he's working hard for both of your futures. Be glad he isn't some dead-beat that doesn't work at all. Then you'd be asking a much different question. Hang in there, you will be ok.
2007-04-25 09:37:49 · answer #7 · answered by poisonivy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not jealous, just call him and/or talk to him about when you guys should set a time for a "date" out, talk about when it would be a wonderful time to set aside one special night for a "date".!
That way you will have it down on the calendar and he will have it down on his phone or his calendar at work also!!!
If you set aside one special day for a "date", then you both will not forget the "date" and it will be that more special for you both!
2007-04-25 09:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you miss him and you need to see him. He should understand, and if he can, he should try to get some extra time to see you. It'll work out, but don't hold it in. If you do it can cause bigger problems down the road. Good luck!
2007-04-25 09:26:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs the job and you know he loves you. when you get the chance to, tell him you miss him and that you want to spend more time with him. and if thats not possible, try to get a job at the same place. hope this helped!
2007-04-25 09:25:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋