We are both Catholic, but I practice it and he doesn't, question about marriage in Catholic Church?

Question

I have grown up Catholic and gone to church every sunday, he was baptized Catholic but his famiy never went, so now he never goes. He's got his own relationship with God outside of a church and doesn't have a label for his faith (he says). He disagrees with things in the Catholic church but goes with me occasionally now and has said he would go with me our and future kids sometimes but he'll never be a "Catholic". When it comes to marriage he barely agreed to marry me in the Catholic church, now he thinks the preparation classes they ask you to take before the big day are absurd. I feel I could probably convince him after stressing how important it is to me, but I feel bad, I want him to be happy at his own wedding. Is it wrong of me to expect him to follow through with all the necessary steps in order to have a Catholic wedding?

let me add im not making/asking him to marry me, he already wants to do that! i just want it to be in the church, for the guy who called me a control freak

thanks to the others for all of your insight, it helps!

Answer 1

As someone who was married to a non-Catholic (we are still married, she converted to Catholicism in 1996), I can tell you that a "mixed marriage" can be a very difficult one. Your faith is the most important thing to you. While your fiance does not embrace Catholicism and truly does not practice a his faith, he needs to respect yours. As a Catholic, you are obligated to go through the marriage classes and obey the Marriage laws of the church. To answer your question; you are NOT WRONG for wanting to married in the Catholic Church. Your significant other is the one who is being difficult. PLEASE speak to a good and holy who can give you some sound, spiritual guidance. God bless you.

Answer 2

So go ask a farmer why he can't use his horse & his ox together to plow his field! Answer; because he would get crooked rows of crops!!! The two different animals don't pull the same when plowing and so create crooked rows!!! Catholic Dogma aside, why would U want to be a "Control Freak" forcing him into marriage in the first place??? U just like Divorce??? Lady, U need help, as Ur priorities are askew!!! If U want somebody to sin with in the Catholic church find somebody else, they are a dime a dozen!!!! And pick an effeminant one that dosn't mind being bossed around!!! John

Answer 3

Marriage is considered a sacrament in the Catholic Church...not to be taken lightly. In the Catholic Church, the couple asking for the sacrament bestow it upon each other. The priest simply gives witness to it and blesses the union.

The preparation classes are for your benefit and his. They will help you to examine and answer questions about commitment, religious observances, the raising of children, working with 2 careers (if that's the case), finances, in-laws and other vital issues.

A "relationship with God outside of a church" sounds quite Protestant...a "me and Jesus" mentality. Worshipping in a faith community is very important for support, giving witness, communal prayer (that's why Jesus taught us to say, "Our Father"...not, "MY Father"), etc. It is where we renew ourselves for the journey by faithfully receiving the Eucharist as nourishment. The family, however, is the place where the children first learn about God. If church is not important to him, it may not be important to the children. Agree or not, there are just some things on which both mother and father have to present a united front on.

God bless.

Answer 4

He is the way he is mostly because of the lax religious up-bringing.

All due respect, he is not "thinking" when it comes to faith. He is merely acting on tremendously misguided impulse.

He believes he already has all the answers. That's why he doesn't need God's Church. Whatever relationship he thinks he has with God, is a weak one because it is forged entirely on his terms, not God's.

We, as Catholics, are supposed to conform ourselves to Him, not Him to us.

Like I said, realize that his attitude towards the Church may not necessarily be all his fault. Show patience and compassion when dealing with him on a theological level. At the same time, he must come to respect your devotion to the Church he rejects.

He needs to know that the Church MUST be a central part in your relationship, or else, it is doomed to eventual failture. The family that prays together stays together.

From this point on, whenever a difference in religious attitude surfaces, ask him to explain "why" he thinks the way he thinks. I will bet he cannot answer the question with any real sense of theological understanding.

By showing him the proper patience, compassion - and proper Catholic admonishment and instruction, in time you can lead him back to the Church.

Answer 5

My boss is going through this very thing right now. They are having a civil ceremony here in the states, then getting the marriage blessed in England. Since the wedding is not actually taking place in the church, and it's only being blessed, theCOE doesn't seem to mind blessing the marriage.

Answer 6

i can only tell you what I know. My mom and soon to be stepdad are going through an anollment through the church. I believe he has to go to the church for a surtain period of time. He might just have to become a full catholic if he was only baptised and not confirmed. The classes are every week for a certain amount of time. Then you'd just probably show his baptism certificate to the priest of the church. Thats the best I can do...!!!???

Answer 7

as a practicing catholic, you have no choice but to get married in the Catholic Church. As a catholic, you need to recognize Marriage as a Holy Sacrament and as a Sacred Vocation. It is a very serious matter. As a catholic, you need to remain firm with your fiance. It is either a Catholic marriage, or no marriage at all. If your fiance really loves you, he will come through.

Answer 8

First I'd say keep him in your prayers constantly, and continue being the loving example of a wife that God calls you to be. If you stay with it, you'll be that loving sacrament to your husband. God bless you.

It probably makes you feel like your being a burden or a pressure to him, making him jump through all these hoops, but you're doing it the right way. You should never back down from that. God blesses those who are obedient to Him and follow how He wants things done. Stay the course and trust in Jesus more and more. The more you trust, the more He will bless you.

Again, God bless you, and keep strong.

Answer 9

The Catholic marriage ceremony required the couple to commit to living a life within the church and bringing up children within the Church. It requires both to provide letters from their pastors that they have been faithful members of their church (at least it used to). If the Catholic faith is not important to you husband you will be asking him to lie during your wedding ceremony.
I was raised catholic as was my first wife. Neither of us believed in the church but we got married in it to please our families. Not that I believe in omens but the organ broke during the ceremony and within a year the Church building was found to be structurally deficient, was condemned and torn down. It took another 6 years for the same to happen to that marriage.

In my opinion, it is not good to begin your married life together with a lie.
I hope the same doesn’t happen to you.

Either he commits to living a Catholic life or you go through the marriage as if to a non-Catholic.

Answer 10

It reminds me my mom and dad.She used to go to church every Sunday and now she belongs to a group of old ladies who pray the rosary every Wednesday. My father instead, went to church for weddings or any special occasion like that, only.It isn't anything wrong for you to expect him following every step of a catholic wedding, probably he'd do it. The problem would arise the day you'd want him to go with you and the kids every single Sunday or celebrate with joy, Easter (holly week) or Christmas.As long as you keep your faith and your rituals without pushing him to do it, every thing would be fine.Good Luck, and lots of prayers for him.