What do you think of this situation:?

Question

I am an atheist, but I don't discuss religion or politics at work. Yesterday, I was talking with this lady I work with, very nice, very religious lady. She was telling me, "_______, you are always so kind to me, I will be praying for you and your family. You and your husband are such a blessing to me. Your marriage inspires me. I will be praying for spiritual gifts for you. Now, don't smile, my prayers are heard."


I said "Thank you."

Was it horrible and wrong of me not to set her straight on my beliefs?

Answer 1

No, because she was wishing you well. She wasn't being confrontational. I have no problem with anyone who wants to do the same for me.

If she said it in a condescending manner, then you have my permission to chew them up and crap them out.

Answer 2

That's up to you. At my job we're not supposed to discuss certain subjects, which include religion, and wages...I'm sure there's more. However, it seems this lady knows you well enough for you and your marriage to inspire her, I would think that you could call her or something and let her know your standing - it will probably lead to many other discussions, though.
I feel that no one should be ashamed of their beliefs, and no one should be ashamed to talk about it. You don't have to be rude or anything - I don't think she meant you any harm, it's just that beliefs are such an integral part of one's life, that it's going to be obvious at some point if you are living by and standing by your beliefs.

Answer 3

It's not horrible or wrong. It's nice. I probably just wouldn't have done it.

I guess I have a whole lot to learn, before I could move to a Christian country, sigh.

It has never happened to me, so I have no idea how I'd react. But I think I couldn't have stopped laughing, even if that isn't the nicest thing to do. It's her god that gave me my laughing muscles, so, it can't be my fault if I can't control them anyway.

You said nothing about, because it's probably a common thing in the USA. But what if the majority practices Voodoo? If somebody told you they'd put a friendly spell on you? To me it's the same. I honetsly am afraid that I couldn't have stopped laughing.

Oh well. I'm not used to it. Sue me.

Answer 4

Well, you already got great answers to this. I think you did great!

Someone said that when she said, "don't smile, my prayers are heard," that she knew you believe differently. You know her better than I do, but I did want to offer another explanation for that. She could have thought you were embarrassed or that you doubted that you deserved blessings. If she thought you were self-effacing, then the admonition not to smile would have been to reassure you, not to belittle your beliefs.

You did what I certainly hope we all do in real life. You were courteous and respectful to someone who believes differently than you. I try not to tackle anyone here with my beliefs - even though I state them. I've never offered to pray for anyone I didn't know to believe in/want/state that they need prayer, and I almost never tackle people in real life.

I lack the height and coordination....

;o)

Answer 5

I think you did the right thing. Misguided as she was to assume you believed what she believed, it would have been an insult to burst her bubble when she thought she was doing something nice for you.

However, I do recommend that you gently slip your beliefs into the conversation sometime in the future. I've been in this situation myself, and can tell you from experience that if you tell them nicely, once they know you're Atheist they will respect your position. You just have to do it tactfully and in a non-demeaning manner.

Happy bubble bursting!

Answer 6

It might have been kind of rude to be like "that's nice and all, but I don't believe your God thing. So let's just forget all that, 'k?" Not that you would have said it like that, but that's essentially what you'd be saying. I may not pray or believe in God, but it's the thought that counts. It doesn't really matter what the recipient believes. I would have said "thank you" also. I might have turned around and given a "blessing" in my own belief system to her as well.

Answer 7

"Thank you" was the right answer.

I see nothing wrong with thanking someone for sending you well wishes. Different beliefs word their well wishing differently (good luck, blessed be, salute, etc), but the spirit of intention is the same.

If you were to answer back "god bless" or somesuch, then you would be mildly encouraging or hypocritical (though sometimes it is tough to stop the reflex).

If you were to respond with something like "goddess bless", "Odin protect us", or even "I do not subscribe to your god", then you would be opening up the conversation to belief discussion.

Even is someone else violates "Don't ask, don't tell" that does not make it OK to start arguing with them. The safer bet is just to say "thank you".

Answer 8

No. I don't think so. She obviously meant well. The point where I would feel the need to "set someone straight" is if they're saying they're going to pray for me for the purpose of being condescending, or if it's a superiority thing. ("Your beliefs are wrong and mine are right, therefore, I'm going to pray for your soul.")

Answer 9

Yes, you did the right and polite thing, she obviously means well. Besides, never discuss religion at work, even if someone else starts it. It always leads to trouble down the line.

Answer 10

Actually, I think her comment "Now, don't smile..." might indicate she is aware of your beliefs, but didn't want to get into a debate about religion with you.
As such, your reaction was appropriate and polite.

Answer 11

You can always apologise or explain your position tomarrow.
You might know how I feel being atheist and comming from a religious family - but I try just to stay non involved in their affair with the church. I don't critisize too too much. I assume they are trying but our beliefes seriosly differ.