Me and my bf of 4 years have been broken up for about 3 weeks now. The past couple of days I have not called him and I've been rejecting his calls. I figured if he wanted me he would call. I had my cell of yesterday on a long trip and he called 77 times and left me 35 voicemails. Is he realizing that he messed up and wants me back? Or is he just being nosy wanting to know where I am and who I am with??? PLZ NO SMART *** ANSWERS. Im too old for that!
2007-04-25 07:27:36 · 36 answers · asked by Amy S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would let the Vmails get to 10 and then I would erase. It was 35 total. And all he said was call me please.
2007-04-25 07:35:53 · update #1
He's being ridiculous by calling you 77 times. That is considered as stalking.
Maybe he realizes he messed up. However, he sounds like he is dependent on you like an addict is dependent on a substance. It seems that his view of you guys relationship was very unhealthy.
4 years is a long time to be together. Obviously, there are some unresolved issues between you two. You guys need to talk it out in a safe place for your own safety (somewhere with family and friends close by because this guy sounds like he is on the edge).
2007-04-26 01:23:53 · answer #1 · answered by Beach Bum Wannabe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What does he say in his voicemails? 35 is extreme. He maybe acting out feelings of abandonment that have nothing to do with you.
The odds are his messages and calls are not about his love for you.
If you were to take him back once he starts to feel secure again I suspect the old behavior and problems will come right back.
He may be frightened to be alone. It sounds like he is panicing to call you so often. This is not a sign of an emotionally mature person.
Think about the reasons you broke-up. You say he messed up. If he cheated on you is there any reason you think you can trust him to remain faithful???
Three weeks is not a long time for someone to grow and change.
Even if he says he's sorry and will change or has changed that is not good enough. It is empty words.
If you want him back, he needs to show you evidence that he has changed.
I suggest that you send him a message that you do not want him to call you anymore unless and until he can prove that real change has taken place. That could take many months or even years.
If he cannot control himself and respect your boundaries then forget him. He is not emotionally healthy enough for a healthy relationship.
2007-04-25 07:47:18 · answer #2 · answered by KathyL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait, you've been rejecting his calls but you said if he wants you he would call? I'm a little confused about that.
Did he know you were going on a trip? Did you go with someone he doesn't trust (a friend or more than a friend, either one)?
I agree, what did the messages say? I think in at least 1 of 35 he would have told you why he was calling.
Anyway, playing games just leads to more problems in my experience. Do you want to be with him or not? If so, pick up the phone and work things out. If not, let him know so he'll stop stalking you. He sounds a little creepy though.
2007-04-25 07:37:50 · answer #3 · answered by kikikiwi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yikes!! Either he wants you back or he is venting more anger on you. It could be nice, than poisonous voicemails. I would contact the local police about this. 77 calls and 35 vm's is not something you need to mess with. Even if he does want you back that is really unhealthy behavior and you should stay clear of him.
2007-04-25 07:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by licketysplit55423 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd say he wants you back. Why wouldn't he? The calling is a bit crazy, but that's how love makes you feel sometimes. I'm sorry a four year relationship ended for you, but I'm sure you had good reason and you should stick by that. You do, however, need to pick up one of those calls and let him know that it's time he let go and that the calls are bothering you.
2007-04-25 09:34:35 · answer #5 · answered by Bottom 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he's a stalker. Only you will know if he's just being nosy or wants you back. It's probably just that he's just missing you. And think about this the more you reject a person the more they pursue you. That could be what this is all about. Whatever the situation, you need to do what is best for you.
Good luck
2007-04-25 07:33:53 · answer #6 · answered by Heaven26 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he literally called 77 times and left 35 voice mails, I say call him back and make up with him. I'm a guy, and I don't think someone who you were already broken up with would call that many times to see where you are. Take my advice and call him. Try to be friends again, and see where things go.
2007-04-25 07:33:04 · answer #7 · answered by Greg 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What he realizes isn't as important as you realizing that he is showing strong signs of being a manipulative stalker. If you've been broken up for 3 weeks, you are well on your way to getting out of a potentially harmful relationship. Don't look back!
Keep avoiding those calls!
2007-04-25 07:34:14 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel M 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it's not quite over you. Was it a really bad break up, or was it a nice one that you both just decided to move on? He might just be feeling sad about what happened. Or he just might be crazy and realized that you're not together anymore. What kind of phone do you have? Mine can only hold 10 messages. 35 is a lot! If you're completely over him, you could always get a new phone.
2007-04-25 07:32:30 · answer #9 · answered by emma-me 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he took the time to call 77 times and leave 35 voice mails than he must like you. 4 years is a tough relationship to come out of and depending on why you broke up, i think he sounds good enough to have a second chance with.
2007-04-25 07:32:39 · answer #10 · answered by Kimmy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋