Recently my boyfriend and I have been struggling. He is having a hard time trusting me for things that I have done in the past. I have never cheated on him or really given him a reason to not trust me. He says that he is having a hard time because I didnt hold his hand while in the presence of my ex and because I got drunk one evening last year and danced with another guy at the bar. He has lied to me in the past about very big things, such as having an ex wife and a child. I have been able to get past those things, but he says that he can't. We've been in a relationship now for almost 9 months and have been friends for 2 years previous to that. I dont want to just end our relationship. We had already made plans to get married and have a family. What can I do to help him get over his insecurities and focus on the future that we had planned? I've asked him about therapy but he says it wouldnt work....I am so lost and confused as to what to do....HELP!
2007-04-25 07:27:35 · 7 answers · asked by Rainy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Princess,
you can help him, but he has to first recognize that he needs help. you recognizing he needs help and bringing it to his attention is all you can do and always pray. Stand up to what you say and do not back down. If he is mature enough and recognizes that he has a problem and if he loves you he will get help and allow the help to help him and things will change. Keep in mind you can not change him only yourself can you change. If you know you have changed from your past then move forward. Looking forward to getting married is wonderful however do not overlook anything before getting married. cause if he does this now he will do it later unless he is helped.. Lying is not something it overlook.
Be encouraged and keep searching for ways, he also needs to be the one to search for ways to address this issue. Your relationship should be a team effort.
2007-04-25 07:41:53 · answer #1 · answered by Nakia C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing that his ex really hurt him. And it's possible that it all started with the same little things you're describing. I think the only thing you can do at this point is work slowly at regaining his trust. Don't drink for a while to avoid that stupid mistake, and hold his hand whenever he offers it. It might take a few months to smooth things over.
But once things are okay again, you should probably discuss this with him. He sounds like he's being quite unreasonable about this and you should let him know that. Good luck.
2007-04-25 14:34:03 · answer #2 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like you definitely should not get married.
you can not make him feel better...he has to do that on his own.
He has issues an immature little boy would have...sure you want to marry this guy?
Pretty petty issues...you not holding his hand in front of an ex and dancing with someone else drunk...jeese...you have not cheated on him and he is acting like you have.
get rid of him and find someone more mature.
be cool...
2007-04-25 14:33:11 · answer #3 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you shouldn't be so concious about it and just hold his damn hand! If you don't like your ex anymore then you don't have anything to hide. So just show your boyfriend that you love him when you're around him. If you ex don't like it then too bad, because you aren't together anymore.
2007-04-25 14:32:37 · answer #4 · answered by sk8rgurl_88 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him for a while. That would give hime time to realise what a stupid mistake he's making and come back to you. It would put a distance between his childish thoughts and reality. Good luck.
2007-04-25 14:32:47 · answer #5 · answered by sylvie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this is tricky, if your willing to work on the reltionship and he is not, well that does not leave you with that many options, i would think very hard about what your furture with this person will be like if you marry him.
2007-04-25 14:33:59 · answer #6 · answered by james p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on girl
2007-04-25 14:32:27 · answer #7 · answered by spayhappy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋