okay my best friend just got out of a 2 year relationship with a very abusive bf. she now says that shes is ready to move on and that makes me happy because she is finding someone who wont treat her like crap... now she has found a new guy that she really likes and he really likes her but i really dont know if its what she needs... shes like 7 years older than she is (shes 19) and he has a 2 year old child and a new born. and he also just got out of a realtionship with the mother recently & still always hangs out with her... how should i tell her i dont think its a good idea... or should i even do that and just leave it alone... me and her are the best of friends and we look out 4 each other and i really dont want to see her hurt again... what should i do!
2007-04-25 06:22:29 · 6 answers · asked by Kelly*Belly 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am affraid that the guy will end up going back to his ex and just leave my friend behind and forget about her.... she was hurt terribly from the last friendship she was in and im just scared it will happen again
2007-04-25 06:28:49 · update #1
Can't live life in fear.
Your friend is 19, she is an adult, so is her bf.
It is awsome you worry about her, but it's her life.
Stand by to be a shoulder to cry on, be a compassionate ear to listen to her, and offer advice, WHEN ASKED for it.
Otherwise, she is going to have to make her way just like the rest of us, and yes, sometimes lessons are hard learned.
There is no way to predict the future, things just have to take their course.
2007-04-25 06:35:34 · answer #1 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do and retain your friendship at the same time is express your concerns and then back off. You are her friend not her guardian.
It's hard to stand by and watch when you think someone you care about is walking into a fire. Now you know what your parent's went through. But that's what you have to do.
Just continue being her friend but don't bring up your concerns all the time. It will eventually tear you apart if she thinks you are judging her. After all - can't you trust her to do what she thinks is best for her?
2007-04-25 13:37:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that you're concerned about her, as far as this relationship goes. But at the same time don't judge her choices, and let her know you'll be around for her no matter what. The more you trash the guy, the more she'll push you away and pull him closer. Just let her know you love her, and be there when it inevitably falls apart.
2007-04-25 13:27:22 · answer #3 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her, and tell her that you are concerned. If she is going to choose to date this guy, then that is what she is going to do regardless of what you say. But you may help her think a few things through. If he just got out of a relationship she may be his rebound fling. Just tell her to b cautious, not to get serious or involve sex in the relationship. And if he is wrong for her she will be able to see it soon enough if she keeps respect for herself.
2007-04-25 13:41:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All that matters is that your best friend is happy. If you think that she is better off without him then tell her to dump him but if she is at her happiest with this guy then let them be.
2007-04-25 13:27:40 · answer #5 · answered by ~Ta-Ta Licious~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r her best friend and its becoms ur duty to help her out out.
mke her understand pratically and tell her dat it is not gud for her.
she is ur best frend and if there is one who can mke her understand, dat is u.
she will understand u.
2007-04-25 13:31:30 · answer #6 · answered by adi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋