Is it ever ok to insist your child stops crying when they're at home?

Question

She's almost 5. I tend to feel it's wrong and my husband does not. The idea of children controlling their emotions is new to me. Any book recommendations?

Answer 1

Would it ever be OK for someone to insist that an adult stop crying? I can't think of a time when that would ever be a polite or caring thing to do.

Now, if you know the crying is just manipulative - if you've exhausted every attempt at comforting her & solving her problem - then you can let her know that you're sorry she's feeling bad & that you've tried everything you can think of to help her, but that you've got other things you've got to do. Then ask her to go into her bedroom to cry because the noise that it's making is not polite to the other people in the room.

Answer 2

Depends on how old they are and if they are doing it for manipulation. By 3 years old, you'd be surprised how successful of manipulators a child can become. Does crying succeed in getting something that they want vs. injury or illness? If the child carries on enough, do you give them the toy or the treat? These are the types of things you have to think about to decide if you need to intervene in the crying or not. Some kids ARE more emotional than others and some are more emotional because that is how they get attention.

Answer 3

Yes its okay to insist they stop crying. But first make sure there is nothing physically wrong. Sometimes they just need a hug and reassurance that you are there for them. Crying can give a child control over an entire household and cause problems between other family members. I have an older child who I tell to go outside and cry (because she cries very loudly) because I don't want to hear it. The thought of the embarrasment is what stops her.

Answer 4

Of course it's okay, as long as the crying isn't "real", meaning they're hurt, sick, genuinely upset (hurt feelings, frustrated, etc.). If they are having a fit or just doing it for attention, I will send them to their room generally, although I like the Answerer's suggestion to tell them to do it outside... ;)

And if I really don't see a single logical, understandable reason for the crying, I have been known to give fair warning that it had better stop by the count of 3 or.... (fill in the consequence).

Answer 5

Yes we need to teach them how to handle their emotions. If the are hurt then of course crying will happen but the older they get the more they can learn to have self control. For a child to cry on and on is not good for them. What would our world be like if we all cried and cried over every little thing. I am not suggesting you humiliate your child but giving them enough time to cry and settle down is reasonable

Answer 6

when my child fake cry, which is more of a keening wail has gone on for over 5 minutes I insist she either stop crying about it or take it to another room. When she is genuinely hurt or really crying, not fake, I let her cry until she feels she is ready to stop. She fake cries more than real cries so she gets asked to stop quite frequently. She will usually stop on her own when faced with the choice of stop or take it to another room if you feel like continuing. Giving a child choices can work wonders.

Answer 7

Being a mother of six, I do tell my children to stop crying if they are crying for no reason. If they are really hurt or not feeling well then i will do my best to make them feel better.

Answer 8

I think it depends on why they are crying. My 2 1/2 year-old son usually only cries when he gets hurt, so he gets comforted. If he is having a tantrum I tell him sternly "NO" or "Stop" and he will calm down instantly.

Answer 9

It really depends on why they're crying. If it's a temper tantrum, the experts advise you to pick your battles. Most of the time, if you don't give any attention to the tantum, it stops.

Answer 10

kids cry for no reason at most of the time its for attention. they liked to be noticed. and it depends on the age. newborns babies cry for 5 reasons : food , to be change,attention, new surrounding, teething. if their older than 5 i really dont know it could be something that scared them.