Has anyone that has been hurt in the worst possible ways ever learned to trust again? My last boyfriend not only lied but used me, cheated on me, stole from me, and made my life a complete living hell. And I want to find some one that will love me the way I deserve, but I am scared that I may meet the right guy and ruin it because Ive bn hurt in the worst possible way. Is there anything I could do.
2007-04-25 06:17:11 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you do not learn to trust again you will never find happiness. This is what you should do. Make 3 lists. List 1 are the things that you need in a relationship. Meaning if you can't have these things then don't get into or continue a relationship. Remember you can cause you own problems you don't need any help. List 2 are the list of things that you want but don't necessarily need and you could live without in a relationship. List 3 is you fantasy list. This are a list of things that you would ask for if you had a Genie granting you wishes. The next thing you need to do is stick to your need's list. Do not deviate from that list in no way shape or form. Do not share the list with anyone you are dating because they may try to become what you say you need and that's not genuine. Analyse your own behavior to see if it is attracting the wrong type of person to you. Stay focused. Think positive. I know it is easier said then done but I know it can be done, because I did it and found the love of my life. It took me two years. But the wait was well worth it.
2007-04-25 06:31:03 · answer #1 · answered by soulsearcherofthetruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone has been hurt before some really bad and it takes time to trust again but you will be able to trust again when the time is right. I know it seems scary but you can hold on to the past for ever because it will hold you back. Just don't be so easy as you was with your ex look for those bad signs and learn to trust others
2007-04-25 06:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by lafred116 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep, It took me some years to get over the damage done to myself so there is hope for you. Make sure you are in a good position so you can attract some one who is also in a good place. You will attract the type of person who is in the same place as yourself, so if you're hurting you could find someone who would hurt you again. Find your passion about art, shopping,crafting, something you absolutely love to do. Become a happy content and secure person Love will come to you when your not looking. have faith
2007-04-25 06:23:35 · answer #3 · answered by Missy 75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I myself am learning to trust again. It is hard but you can do it. It will take time. took me 3 - 4 years to really trust anyone again. Don't trust right off the bat. When the right guy comes along he will understand you been hurt and will do what he can to make sure you know you can trust him.
2007-04-25 06:22:45 · answer #4 · answered by movu101779 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't date a guy named Jason from Fort Worth, did you? Because you just described my ex.
He was all good at first, then got more and more demanding of my time. He borrowed money, paid for nothing, expected me to drive him around, and all with the promise "I'll pay you back soon." He forged checks, threatened suicide when I wanted to leave or kick him out, and cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend. He ended up in prison, and I got rid of him.
Afterward I was afraid to even TRY a relationship again, because I thought all guys were like him. But eventually I opened myself up again, and it's worked out beautifully. Met a good one, and we're getting married in July.
The thing is, you have to put the old feelings aside. You can't judge new guys by the old one, or you'll never find anyone. You have to open yourself up to being hurt again, because it may happen on the road to finding a good man. But the good one IS out there, and all the crap you put up with while trying to find him will be worth it when it happens.
2007-04-25 06:22:27 · answer #5 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the exact place before and from my own experiece my suggestion to you is to take a break from dating, a few months so you can have personal growth, It's very hard to trust again but you also have to remember that not everyone is like that. Try to really see if you are compatible with that person and always have your guards up. Once you find yourself again you'll see that you can easily spot people with bad intentions. But again 1st try to have a connection with yourself, hang out withn your friends, listen to music you like, spend time with family, after all being single is not so hard. try it!! good luck
2007-04-25 06:27:09 · answer #6 · answered by chcgoguy82 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex husband did the same....plus add a few other things. I then met someone else and thought I was engaged to the most wonderful guy ever. He cheated on me. I am still wondering if there ARE any nice guys left out there.
2007-04-25 06:21:12 · answer #7 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been steped on a used before to but you cant say that all men are the same if you end up finding that right special one to love you again you be able to love again but dont go out there searching let them come to you.
2007-04-25 06:21:51 · answer #8 · answered by confused! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes..my ex made my life a living hell and even threatned to kill me..now i've been with someone else for only 4 months last friday, and we love each other until the universe dies..i trust him with all of my heart..so yes you just have to get to know the next person you consider to go out with and trust him
2007-04-25 06:20:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't been hurt like that before, but I think you should not date anyone for a while. Perhaps even a year, get over this guy before you even try to find another.
2007-04-25 06:20:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋