"no atheists in foxholes"?

Question

ok, i have seen this debated a few times here on R&S...my question is---my dad is a now long time atheist, and a former methodist church deacon and sunday school superintendant (about 20-25 years ago) and was diagnosed with prostate cancer about 6 weeks ago and is half way through his radiation treatments...my mother, who is a very devout christian, has told me that he has made a few little comments, regarding faith and believing in a higher power, one being that he told his dr. that "we really don't know if there is a higher power"...also, since he is one-quarter cherokee indian, he has been doing some research on the "Great One"...any atheists' opinions as to what is going on with him would be greatly appreciated along with others!
thanks, y'all!

thanks, bettie

SCOTT M: WHO SAID WE WERE PESTERING?????? WE *ARE* SUPPORTING HIM AND I LOVE MY FATHER VERY MUCH AND HOW DARE YOU, NOT KNOWING ME FROM THE MOON, ASSUME THAT JUST BECAUSE MY MOTHER AND I ARE CHRISTIANS THAT WE ARE PESTERING HIM, HE HAS DONE ALL OF THIS ON HIS OWN.

Answer 1

People question more when they feel they are faced with their own mortality.


I hope all goes well with your dad. =0)

Answer 2

Those who feel the reality of their own mortality often tend to start questioning the nature of the universe no matter what they've believed in the past.

We can all sit here on Y!A and go out in the real world & whole-heartedly debate what really exists or what doesn't exist.... but they're all just theories! Nobody has any REAL proof of the existance/lack of existance of a god..... So even the most convinced atheist may wonder about what's really out there when they are stricken with a disease that may bring their lives to an end. It's only natural.

Answer 3

I hope everything turns out well. I'm sure you've heard all the stats on how many men eventually die WITH prostrate cancer (not OF it, necessarily). I don't mean to downplay the severity of it, but it kills very slowly so just the fact that they will treat it is a very positive sign. It means the rest of his body is in pretty good shape.

And anything that kills slower than a car crash gives you time to reconsider everything about your mortality. Clearly the existence or non-existence of a god or soul is a more pressing concern than the outcome of the 2008 presidential election - at least from your father's perspective it would seem so.

Answer 4

Sounds like he's beginning to come to terms with his own mortality. Don't expect a miraculous conversion to faith, he may be in the grip of a deadly disease but that doesn't mean he's going to abandon his principles. I've buried seven close relatives, all of whom died of cancer. My advice is to discuss exactly how he would like you to manage his final months, before he becomes too sick to tell you. This won't be easy -- for either of you -- but you need to understand his wishes.

A personal example: My father died of prostate cancer. Beforehand, he was adamant that he wanted no funeral or ceremony of any kind, but he refused to discuss whether he preferred burial or cremation. After he was gone, every family friend and most relatives insisted we hold a formal funeral service. I was able to withstand the determined efforts of such people, and grant my father's wish, only because I knew exactly what he wanted. I pretty much made the decision to cremate his body on my own and fifteen years later I still worry if I made the right decision. For your own peace of mind, you need to understand his wishes so that you can proceed with moral authority.

Answer 5

I'm sure that as he faces death, he wants to be absolutely sure he's right. It sounds like he's keepig an open mind about it. Since he's rejected the Christian god, he's exploring the Cherokee one, to see if he can find that one viable. I imagine that if he could find something reasonable it would offer him comfort as he faces this cancer challenge.

I don't *think* that I'll do this when faced with my own death, as I've not done it when faced with deaths of family members. Most atheists don't have a moment of reconsidering, but I'm sure some do. Just as some believers find they lose their faith when faced with death.

Best wishes to your family during this difficult time. (My dad had prostate cancer 10 years ago and he's still with us!)

Answer 6

Your title for the question sums it all up. When the crap hits the fan, we humans turn to a "higher power" for answers. God is an invention of necessity. Every culture has a lord and master because everyone on the planet needs something to believe in. With out faith in a god, we have no hope in ourselves.

Answer 7

I would imagine that he's looking for comfort in a troubling time. I don't know if he will find it in spirituality or theism (I never have, but everyone's different), but it makes sense that he would wish to look for something similar, especially as that was once part of his life and is still part of his wife's life.

I sincerely hope that he gets well, and that you and your mother can provide the comfort and support he needs regardless of what he decides in terms of the Great One. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 8

He's probably trying to hold on to life as much as possible. Good luck to him for catching it when they did.

His religious beliefs or lack thereof is irrelevant to the situation. You and your mom need to support him and give him as much emotional strength as you can. The last thing he'd need is someone pestering him about religion. At this stage, all it is is an annoyance and a distraction.

Answer 9

He is obviously doing soul search faced with the greatest and most unevitable chalenge of our life: What we will all face and in presence of which, some fear, some despair, some are prepared and some caguht by surprise. he is preparing for His appointment with the infinite and i think he is deciding wether to trust in God or simply convince himself intellectually that there is no hope for him and quietly accept his self to be engulfed by the nothingness.

He is actually engaging in a very deep process of introspection. I Think that no man can weight on his last decision since he has all the resources and knowledges necesary for his transcendental desicion.

If you believe in God pray for Him, and trust that God will give him the light to trust in Him and have a peaceful holy last days of his life,if you don't then watch him quietly disapear and then weep.

I am deeply sympathetic with him, I think his soul is in a very deep state of confrontation with the inevitable.

God bless

Answer 10

First, I'm sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis, and I hope his treatments are successful.
There are many, many people who reach out for any hope at all when they are faced with the reality of their own mortality. There's nothing wrong with being afraid, and religion is a very, very comon way of dealing with that.