Stay at home moms -- how were you able to do it financially....?

Question

Especially during the high cost of living, gas prices, etc.? How did you budget? I would love to stay home with my 4 month old daughter, but I really don't think it is possible. Any ideas for working at home?

Answer 1

In a word: eBay!

Answer 2

Tough spot to be in...What you are experiencing with your wife is not an uncommon phenomenon. You wife has carried and given birth to a baby and you need to understand that she has also become a mother and not just a wife with a masters degree. If you attempt to force her to go back to work, you will no doubt create a great deal of tension. She also knows in her heart that there is nobody out there that will love and care for your son like she will, so you will have a very hard time convincing her that anyone is good enough to take her place while she is at work. You said she has her masters degree, is there not something she can do from home to earn an income that will not take her away from the baby. Something she can control the schedule with and make up the difference? I am sure that if you talk with her and show her the money shortfall and ask her to look into doing some consulting on the side or counseling or something that she can use her degree in, you will find that she will be much more responsive. That way you can share your financial concerns with her and she will also see that you do care about her desire to stay home with your son.

Answer 3

My husband and I made the decision when we got married that when the kids came, I would stay home. I quit working when I was 4 months pregnant. We lived in a one bedroom apartment then so we were lucky because we had our first and I quit before we got ourselves in to a lot of financial responsibility (i.e. a house, cars, debt). There have been times during our marriage and the almost 6 kids that have come along that we needed some extra money and I've done things here and there. eBay, paper routes, etc. The biggest difference is that we keep out expenses low. We live in a decent, 3 bedroom house. We don't have new cars every two years, we don't shop at the mall for clothes or really anything, we don't have cable, we don't eat gourmet meals for dinner, etc. We decided a long time ago that me being home with our kids was worth more to them and us than all the great "things" we could buy if I worked.

Answer 4

90% of the people out there live way beyond their means with out without children. Is your car paid for? If not pay it off or sell it for a car you can afford. People drive cars that usually cost more than their annual income, example Chevy Suburbans. How many people make $50K + a year? If your car is out of bounds with your income find a nice affordable car that is 2-3 years old with a payment under $200 a month. If your car is paid for, keep it that way. Cars are not status symbols, that are for transportation. Look at your eating out pattern. Eat out once a week at a place that won't break the bank. Most people eat out 7+ times a week with real meals and fast food. It all adds up quickly. Look at your meals at home. Steak and other expensive foods also add up. Look at the cost of each meal and how far your dollar goes with your food budget. Don't buy expensive pre-made foods when you can buy regular food for less and get way more for your money. If you have any credit cards with balances STOP using them today and start paying them off quickly. As long as you have credit card debt you will never get ahead. Those are just some things. Go buy a Suze Orman book it will change your life and it is very easy to understand. Also the book personal finance for idiots was a great book. I read it about 15 years ago and it also changed my life. The biggest deal for what you want is to stop shopping for anything unless it is a real NEED and not a want. Most people live to fulfill their WANTS. Look at your cable tv bill and cell phone bills. If you can really do without it and it is a luxury cut it back or get rid of it all together. It is hard, but once you start it isn't that bad because it is for the overall health of your family. Your child should not be in day care at 4 months old! That should be motivation enough for you to give up the extras and live a better life. You had children so you can raise them not so the day care people could raise them. Priorities! Good luck.

Answer 5

It all starts in your head and your heart. You and your husband need to make this decision as a team. Set a date night (a one income date night, i.e. after the kids go to sleep, you make a pot of coffee and sit at the kitchen table holding hands), discuss what you want and explain why you want it. Allow one another to speak and really listen to the concerns and ideas you come up with. Write everything down! Have your bills in front of you, checkbook, credit cards all laid out on the table ALL OF THEM. If you have a budget, get that and put it on the table.

The most important thing to decide is why you want this and if you are willing to commit to making it work. If you like the life style you enjoy now, then you will not be happy if it changes. Life is too short to be unhappy. But the very act of thinking about these things, discussing them and getting everything out on the table will probably help you live with your decisions much more easily. I

If you are living within your means now......probably no problem. But if as some of the other responders have said, you made financial decisions based on two incomes, you have some work to do. Maybe you need to do a practise run. Plan to live off one income for 3 months and bank the second income. See how it works. See what you can live without and what you can't. Plan to revisit the decision when the experiment is over. Then you can decide how to make it work, or if you have lost interest. Maybe with downgrading a few assets, you can do it. Maybe a night job is going to be the key, or babysitting. You should have a better grip on the reality of it after 3 months, and the decisions won't be soley based on emotion.

One income living involves lots and lots of sacrifice as others have said much more eloquently than I. But it is not impossible. It is just different. Dave Ramsey, a financial counselor, often says "Learn to live like no one else today, so that later...............you can live like no one else." But he also stresses learning to modify your spending and not incurring debt. Those are not the ways of this modern world, so you would definately be bucking the system.

If you are people of faith....pray about the decision. If not, share the burden and joy of this decision together. Embrace this new phase of your life and best wishes to you and your family.

Answer 6

Many can't because they bought homes based on both incomes, so now can't afford it on one. Others don't want to give up their conveniences or have racked up considerable debt. Still others only buy new, trendy clothing and never shop garage sales or discount. Others have unexpected situations. Most stay-at-home folks I know who don't have a hubby with a high income only have one car or they select a vehicle that fits within their means better (an Escort wagon, for instance, not only is gas efficient, but has a low insurance rate as well).

You may well have to do what my Mom and Dad and the neighbors did for years: Mom gets an evening/weekend job. When Dad gets home, Mom goes off to work. My Mom worked an evening factory shift, so she was home on the weekend. The neighbor worked 2 evenings a week and then the weekend waitressing. My cousin and his GF are currently doing that as well, although she chose a part-time, rather than full-time job.

No matter what, don't run a credit card balance. You simply can't afford it. While it makes sense to buy things that might be returned on credit, pay the card at the end of the month. Debt is usually the biggest problem with staying in a budget.

Answer 7

I agree with everything that everyone has already mentioned. You totally have to make the decision that staying home is what you want to do and you need to be committed to making the sacrifice for your baby or other children. It may not be easy at first to not be able to just go out and buy whatever you want whenever you want but when you consider the cost of daycare and the fact that someone else will be watching your children grow up and disciplining them, it will make the sacrifice easier for you. Some moms may not have an option but if there is any way you can work from home, do a home party type business, home medical transcription, babysit a couple kids, teach piano lessons or an art class...........do something creative that will help bring in the extra money. I promise you..........it's worth it!!!!! Get rid of any extra expense you can, pay off any bills you can....could you refinance your house?.......pay cash as much as you can............Just make the commitment and I promise you will be happy even if things are a bit tight for a while. I am able to stay home because my husband works a full time day job and teaches karate 4 nights a week plus Sat. mornings and also does personal training for clients. I work 1 graveyard shift at the hospital. If my husband didn't have his second income, it would be very difficult for me to stay home however, we've been fortunate and are able to make it work. Granted.........we don't see each other a lot during the week but with him doing what he loves and wants to do in the evenings, it allows me to do what I love and have looked forward to for my entire life. It's not easy sometimes.......especially when you go to a friends and see their beautiful home with granite countertops in their kitchen and new leather sofas etc. etc. If you were to come to my house, you would see that it isn't the ritz. We are working on it a little at a time. We don't even have furniture in our front living room. The couches that we do have are from my husbands first marriage..........hey......they are ugly and I hate them but they are free! Both cars are paid off so we have no debt. If you have debt, pick one bill at a time and get it paid off. If you can work weekends or part time evenings or part time mall hours which may be just in 4 hour increment shifts........maybe that would work for you. What it all boils down to is sacrifice and commitment. Remember that you are not alone in your sacrifice and commitment to stay home. Good luck to you!!!!!

Answer 8

From the moment we decided to have a baby, my husband and I changed our lifestyle. That is the key. We dumped all our extra money into bills, paying off our car note, etc to prepare. Also, the money I'm not spending by working (daycare, gas, work clothing, lunch) really adds up when you think about it. My daughter is 4 months old and now we "sacrifice" and I put that in quotation marks for a reason. I don't really consider it a sacrifice. We eat out less, see fewer movies, we haven't bought many things for ourselves lately but it's all worth it if it means I can stay home with my precious daughter. Good luck, I hope you can make it work!

Answer 9

I stayed home for a year and a half with my son, and I am due to have a little girl in about 3 weeks and will be staying home then as well. Take all the bills, add them up, and divide it by two. (2 of his paychecks per month) then subtract that from what he makes in one check. If there is enough left over then you can stay home. Our bills only add up to about 1300 a month though...and I have a lease so I drive as little as possible. You just have to have a tight budget...and I go without so my children and fiance can have what they want. I plan to do online courses so I can become a medical transcriptionist, who often work from home. You could also babysit one or two children to help out, or just a part-time job. Good luck!

Answer 10

My husband makes a really good salary, but I have written freelance since staying home with my children. It's very lucrative if you have writing skills; my projects have ranged from an easy standing project that's $800 a month to projects that pay up to $5000 for a couple months' work. Now, I have my own business, but if you have writing skills it's not a bad idea to look into freelance writing. It's not a scheme or anything; you work for reputable companies that don't want to pay for writers in-house.

As far as budgeting, it's helpful to cut out unnecessaries, like cable or satellite, eating out all the time, etc. It all really adds up. But in my opinion it is absolutely possible, it just requires sacrifices. It's always worth it! I have a son who died when he was 2, and I stayed home with him even though it cut back on all the luxuries we were used to. However, I'm SOO glad I did because I was able to stay home with him and spend as much time as possible with him for the short time he was alive. That was worth more to me than a nicer car, vacations, etc. If you can find a way, which you can if you really want to, I highly recommend it.

Answer 11

I stay at home with my kids and its such a joy. I dont have a cell phone, car payment, no cable, but i'd never change it for anything in the world. No one can love and take care of your baby like you can. What good is all the luxuries if you have to take time from your kids to do it. I spend 24-7 with my kids. I home school my 8 year old and my 20mth old even sits down to be like her..its so cute.

I bet if you cut out some of your bills that aren't needed you could do it. This life isn't about getting ahead and having the best of everything. Believe me before you know it your baby is gonna be full grown soon. God bless and I hope you can work it out so you can stay at home.