My husband and I chose to only have 1 child. Our reasons were varied. We wanted to be able to give her many things that we didn't have as children, the world's population is already outrageous, finacially it made much more sense, and many other reasons. I want to know why you chose to have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 etc. children. Too me, my family is just as great as the one with 8 people in it. I am asking this because I was actually rudely questioned about my desion yesterday by my OB/Gyn.
2007-04-25 03:12:26 · 12 answers · asked by mlpsq1996 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
That is rude....what business is it of the obgyn's how many kids you decide to have. That said, I have 3 children, but there is a 12 yr gap between my first child and my other two; so I can kind of identify with both sides of the spectrum. We had our first child very young, and were perfectly happy with just one and planned to keep it that way, but as we both approached 30....something I can only describe as "the biological clock" kicked in and before you know it....we had 2 more! I don't regret it, children are a joy whether you have 1 or many!
Having an "only" child for 12 years and then having 2 close together has given me some perspective on this. There are pros and cons to both. If you have an only child: you can give her all your attention(theres no competing for it) and you are able to give them more and do more with them. Having just one child allows you to focus on that child in a way that you cannot do with 2 or more. Only children learn to be more independant as they get older too. However, they tend to be lonely alot and miss out on the comraderie of having a sibling. They tend to be clingy and demand your attention more. and it is almost virtually impossible not to spoil them, without even thinking about, since there's only one making demands of you.
If you have 2 or more children together closer in age, they always have a friend and playmate. They look out for each other and keep each other occupied. They learn how to share and how to socialize easier. However, they also tend to fight alot and are more of a handful. You have to learn to share your attention with each of them. You just can't afford to get them everything you want(unless you're filthy rich or something) because buying something for one child means buying something for all of them and it costs alot of money to feed and clothe,ect. more than one child.
Bottom line: as long as their is love in a home, whether you have 1 or 20 children, you can't go wrong!
2007-04-25 03:52:22 · answer #1 · answered by Covianna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you as far as giving everything you can to one, and the fact that it is so expensive to raise a child.. I have 3, I said I was done after my first one, but was still unsure if I wanted anymore. And I had 3 and got my tubes tied. The second 2 were not planned, but the way I looked at it was they didn't ask to be brought into this world, so I am gonna do what I can for them to have a happy healthy life and be the best mom I can. I love all 3 of my children more than life, and I would not change any of it for the world...
2007-04-25 10:21:20 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know someone who has six. she did this because her kids give her joy that her life had missing during other times. She was also an only child and wanted her children to have a big happy family. My aunt chose one for financial reasons and she said that all she needed was one. She loves her son with all her heart and would love any other children she had the same way but thats just what life gave her.
2007-04-25 10:19:02 · answer #3 · answered by cassie m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up in a household with two kids. My husband did, too. I have some cousins who had three kids and they always seem to struggle. I want two and then I'm done. I want to give my things that will help make their childhoods very special. I want to enjoy their childhood and not feel like I'm being pulled in several different directions. When they are old enough to be involved in activities, there will always be someone to show up to the event because there will be two kids and two parents. I loved growing up with a sibling, even if we did try and kill each other most of the time. My sister-in-law is an only child. She didn't feel like she missed out because she had lots of cousins her age.
2007-04-25 10:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 1 child, a daughter who is 4.5 months...we would love to have a large family, like 4 children if we are able to. It is all in God's hands because I have PCOS!!! I have 3 other siblings and even though we fought a lot when we were younger, we always had eachother and we all are really close. I would like my children to experience this as well!
2007-04-25 10:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by motherhoodisthebest! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had one, and would have liked to have 2, but health issues settled that issue! Financial issues were part of the decision for wanting 2, but to some extent, it seemed more of a "balance" to not having an only child, who can sometimes be over indulged and spoiled. This is not always the case, for sure, but...... sometimes it can be.
2007-04-25 10:24:31 · answer #6 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we wanted one child for the same reasons as you. and to be honest, my sister has two and it looks scary! heh
However, I want a big family. When I'm older I want a bunch of kids around the thanks giving table, and i also want my daughter to have the support and friendship thru life that a sibling can offer.
I think once we own our own home, and my husband is finished school, we will look into adoption. it seems to be the best thing for both of us.
2007-04-25 10:21:17 · answer #7 · answered by SueWithTwo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always wanted 3 kids. (2boys &1girl) I dont know why. We have 1 boy and 1girl and are ttc. Now that I have 1 of each I dont really care if it was to be a boy or girl. Will be happy either way.
2007-04-25 10:19:08 · answer #8 · answered by love life even when it sucks!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband & I also decided to have just one child. Trust me, it wasn't the easiest decicion either. But I realized that I'd be a better mom of one than of two. I think you just know in your heart what's best for you and your family.
I am also questioned and given 'that look' when I tell people we have one child and that's going to be it. Like there's something wrong with you!!! Please, it's no one else's business.
The best to the three of y'all!
2007-04-25 10:22:04 · answer #9 · answered by les6975 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am pregnant with baby #1, and we plan on having 1 maybe 2 more.
i do have to ask though, if you think the world is over populated, then why did you have the one you did?
2007-04-25 10:16:32 · answer #10 · answered by Awesome Rockin Mom 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋