I've lost my vision...?

Question

On May 23rd, 1999 at 3:50 pm Central Day Light Time, I lost my vision. It was due to a car accident.
The accident wasn't mine... It was my daughter Erin.
She is in a coma and has been since then.
Since then I have lost my vision and love for life. I'm not kidding here....
I wish what has happened to Erin Brostuen
my daughter to no one. She is and is what keeps me going. she was 19 years old and 4 days old when her accident happened in 1999.
She was also a Miss America contestant in June 1998 from our state.

My life has been in the gutter ever since...
As I said I've lost my vision....
I still can see but I have no vision.
Sorry for the rambling...
But I'm lost, what should I do?
If you say suicide.... That's not original.
I have already played roulette 3 times and quit, hoping for better.
I guess that's why I'm asking this.

John
God Bless you Erin

Dear LW,
Erin is my Daughter and all I stated about her here is true. I should clarify
that she was in the Miss North Dakota
Pageant for Miss America. The Erin you
found in your search is my Daughter and
her female Guardian is my Ex-wife Karen. I am sorry for the confusion.
Erin resides at Bethel Lutheran Home in Williston, ND.
My email address is [e-mail] and yes my name is John.

Answer 1

My heart goes out to you and your precious daughter Erin.

I kinda know how you feel. My daughter died to cancer in 1990. The deep pain is still there and always will be.

I know that your Erin is still alive, but is in a coma.
You have lost her in so many ways, yet I am sure for years and still do have hopes that she will come out of the coma.

Erin would want you to keep living. This I know.
How do you go on with your life, knowing that Erin cant with hers? That is the question, really, RIGHT?

I wish I had the answer for you, but I have not been in your shoes. So it would be impossible for me to say what I would do. I do know that I shut down for years after my daughter died. But one day came, and I had to choose to live or do wilt away. I decided to live. For her and for me.

For Erin you need to Live. For you, you need to Live.
Once you decide that, you will gain a new vision in life.

Sending my heart felt thought and prayers.

Answer 2

Wow. I had to read this a few times to really understand the depth of what you were saying here. Just wow.

In 1997 I fell 33 feet off scaffolding and broke my back while a member of the US military. I had 4 surgeries before they discharged me under a medical, and gave me a 50% rating. I was able to work and get along with life until I was in a car accident 4 years ago. My neck, knee, and arm were broken. I have had many problems since, but still kept pushing.

Today I had a Myelogram on my back, as it is now really painful again, and the doctors are going to perform fusion at L4,L5, and L6. This will bode nicely with the two cervical fusions I needed following the car accident.

Point of all this - I will walk with a limp for the rest of my life. I have to get up early just to get out of bed, if I can get out of bed that day. If the pain scale goes 1 to 10, I am constantly at an 8, unless medicated, then I am a zombie. And even after this next fusion, I will not be pain free in the back. In fact, my range of motion will be even more limited.

Add to this the fact that I have a wife and 3 kids, and the government has not raised my 50% disability rating. I can not work, I often feel like I am drowning in depression and anxiety.

But wow. Your story really hit me. I mean, no matter how bad I am, and how much pain I am in, I still have so much...

I wish you the best John. Stay strong. Whatever the reason, God has a plan for all of us. That's a very difficult thing for me to admit given my situation and my own demons with religion and the whole why me thing... but you really make it seem like a viable answer. God will reveal all someday.

Until then, stay strong.

Answer 3

I get how lost you are.

My gut reaction: Help others see.

Help others see: How to prevent car accidents, assist/volunteer with those recovering from brain injuries; hold the hands of others who have lost their loved ones--either literally at the graveside or figuratively unreachable in comas. She must have had one or two volunteer activities or causes she cared deeply about, carry her torch there..,.

Then go back and hold her hand and tell her how you did.

Tell her how you're doing.

She's going to love you forever for it.

She's going to love you forever.

Answer 4

Don't give in to the gloom. There are so many reasons you need to be around for your daughter's sake. When she wakes up, she will need you to be there to help her regain her life back. Life throws us curves and challenges and it is how we deal with those challenges that define us. Your daughter is still here for a reason and you are the reason. Talk to her and tell her and God to come back into your life. Open your heart to Him and He will be your eyes. I will keep a prayer in my heart for Erin and also for you, John.

Answer 5

i am so sorry for the anguish u r going through. i had a co-worker who was in an accident and was in a coma for about a year i think. afterward, when she finally came out of it she had very limited memory. she regained some of it, learned to walk etc. something she said over and over and over and over again was thank God. thank God for this or for that. not to try to tell u whats going on out there because who of us really knows...but i recently saw a movie where someone was in a coma and it turned out that their spirit/soul left their body while in the coma, and experienced things. this was an entertainment type movie, not a documentary. but who knows? this is a difficult question to answer due to the fact that you must be going thru so much. just thought i should share these ideas tho. God bless you and your daughter!

Answer 6

I'm very sorry to hear about your accident. Look to God and he'll give you the strength to make it through. God bless you John and Erin too. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Answer 7

Omg, I am so sorry for you, man! I guess there is nothing more you could do than mourn. I hope that in time you will calm yourself and learn to live with the loss. God Bless Erin, and yourself!

Answer 8

thats a tough one i will pray for your sight and your daughters situation i hope only the best for you all you can do is take it day by day