I thought that I would never find someone
Someone as special as you
It hasn’t been long
But yet I’m falling for you
You’re like a summer’s breeze
On a cold winter day
I’d never thought I’d say
Those three simple words ever again
Until my eyes met yours
And then my world changed
As bright as any day
With wonder in my eye
Know worries at my side
Just the thought of us
Know matter what god sends
I’ll love you till the very end
2007-04-24 16:36:26 · 12 answers · asked by Faith C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wow. thats really good! nice job with it!
the only problem i have with it:
"Know worries at my side"
"Know matter what god sends"
you used the wrong "no" there...Unless its a stylistic choice, but i'm not usually good at spotting that
2007-04-24 16:39:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i stumbled on the poem style of indifferent slightly wordy till the final line. The incongruity had me analyzing the poem a 2d time. i can not reconcile the poem and the proper line. it incredibly is like some unrelated guy or woman wrote the poem and then a newborn of the affected person extra the final line. on the grounds that my mom died some weeks in the past, and that i'm feeling indifferent like the vast majority of the poem, the final line merely knocked the full element out of my head. i can not carry that emotion and all that scientific prose interior a similar room somewhat.
2016-11-27 02:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should know what love is before you use the word
or even mention it. Read 1 Corinthians 13,4-8,13 then ask your self Am I really in love? or just using the word to convince myself of feeling something that really isn't there.
Not a bad poem though check your spelling.
2007-04-24 16:46:15 · answer #3 · answered by setfree 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you did this intentionally or not but in lines 13 & 15 you wrote "know" in a phrase where you'd usually write "no".
IMHO, the poem is great but you just need to touch up on it's lack of organization. It seems to be all over the place. Organize it and break it down into stanzas.
2007-04-24 16:41:04 · answer #4 · answered by LaissezFaire 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you stopped at 'those three simple words again' and added 'I'll love you till the very end' after that i think it would sound good and cut out what's in between. but it is really great. Nice job
2007-04-24 16:43:16 · answer #5 · answered by blessed mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shave off the last 4 or 6 lines and it's perfect. Poems not needeth runneth on to long.
2007-04-24 16:40:05 · answer #6 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can be so cruel, you did a great job. I'd give it to him, but as the one person said just change the KNOW to NO and it is good to go.
2007-04-24 17:24:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give him a poem, give him a gaget that does something sweet, like a ninja radar or a laser banana peeler.
2007-04-24 16:39:41 · answer #8 · answered by Swibblestix 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
is there supposed to be a rhyming scheme?? i'm confused...it's a good thought, but the poem doesn't really have any structure....so it doesn't flow as well as it could.
2007-04-24 16:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by mighty_power7 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's very deep, and you can tell you mean it
2007-04-24 16:40:37 · answer #10 · answered by that redheaded chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋