I am pregnant with my second child. I also have 13 year old daughter. Should I give birth to the baby?

Question

Me and my husband are working currently. We have a 13 year old daughter who goes to school & does her homework daily. At times, she will go out with her friends. She says that she doesn't want me to have the baby because she is afraid that I will tell her to babysit and she will not be able to be with her friends as much as now and she doesn't want to put her plans aside because of the baby. She say it is unfair. I told her honestly that she will not have to take care of the baby all times, but from time to time, yes. She still say no. I will not be able to hire a sitter or quit my current job. I don't have any relatives that can help me with the baby. I want to have to the baby. But, I don't feel right about forcing my 13 yr old to put plans aside for the baby if she doesn't want to but I have to admit that I will need her help from time to time. What should I do? Any suggestions.

Answer 1

You think thats bad. I was 18 and my mom adopted a 2 month old baby. I was 18, my brother 17 and my other brother 15. Mom must have had empty nest syndrome. I was finally an adult and could do whatever I wanted and I thought It was the end of the world. I had to babysit and when my mom got sick my sister came and lived with me for 2 weeks. I fell in love with her the day she came home and I wanted to help out. I am now 21 and I have a 4 year old sister and a 2 month old daughter and when I take them somewhere people think my sister is mine and I have to explian. I think they think im lying. Trust me your daughter will get over it. Whats gonna happen in 10 years you will have no baby if you abort and your daughter will be grown up and she might blame herself. Maybey shes just embarresed because at her age she probably thinks your old and her mom having sex is prob gross. Hang in there and have your child.

Answer 2

If you want this baby then have it... your 13 year old is being a bit selfish... she is probably having some anxiety because she has been the baby for 13 years...maybe once the baby is here she will change her mind...at 13 she really does not sound very mature for her age and it would not be a good idea to let her sit with the baby anyway. Some states actually have laws against children under 18 babysitting... you could get in trouble for letting her babysit anyway... I think the decision rests with you and your husband...not your spoiled 13 year old daughter .

Answer 3

I think you should let Lacey keep her child. I know you can't afford another child in the house right now... you said that having a child at 15 was bad for you because you didn't have the support you needed. Lacey should keep this baby... even though it's going to be hard, she'll always have you for the support. Just because your teen years wasn't that good... it doesn't mean Lacey's is going to be just as bad. She has you. I think this will have an affect... And you got to trust her not to climb in bed with a random guy... besides THAT, you got to tell her all the responsibilities she's going to have to face and deal with maturely ... Ok, I don't think I should be answering this question... I think you need people who understand what you're going through... I'm only 14... but um.. what lays above is just MY opinion. But in the end, it really depends on you. Whatever you chose to do, make sure it's what you want, and what you feel is the right thing. I'm really sorry I didn't help... Good luck, though.

Answer 4

Boy have you been misunderstood....Ok clearly most of those people don't have a 13 yr old. I do, I also have a baby in the house. We went throught this too. I respect that my 13 yr old is going through "Teenager", at that age she is just being normal. They need their "space". So me and daddy decided that I quit working and raise baby, and he get a night job. As you said "YOU" are pregnant, she isn't. Think of it this way, if this was your first child what would you have to do? A 13 yr old doesn't deserve the responsibility of a child. She should only be there to enjoy her baby sibling. Other than that, the baby and it's care is YOU and DADDY'S job. So make your decision accordingly. I hope you reconsider your job and/or childcare situations, there are options, does your company have a daycare? Work from home, or seek a federaly funded daycare program for baby's care. Good Luck.

Answer 5

You are supposed to be the adult. The fact that your 13 year old is making life decisions for you is wrong. Most kids are embarassed to find out their parents are having sex much less expecting a baby, but usually get over it by the time you give birth. In the mean time put an ad in the local paper and start interviewing prospective sitters.

Answer 6

I don't think it's your daughters responsibility to take care of your baby, you should be worried about your daughters education. If you need help from a 13 year old to take care of your baby you probably shouldn't have gotten pregnant. I'm not trying to be mean but think about it at that age you should be worried about school not worried about changing a diaper and feeding your baby sister. But on the other hand your daughter might came around after the baby is born and want to help on her own with out forcing it on her, who can resist a beautiful little baby.

Answer 7

I'm sorry, are you asking if you should give up your baby for your 13 yeard old daughter?

You are pregnant, you have a life growing inside of you... personally I have strong issues against abortion.. I can't imagine how someone could give up a life like that. And, for your reasons, just because your daughter doesn't want to give up plans with friends? That is ridiculous.

I am an older sister, and I was babysitting my sister since I was about five years old. Sometimes she is a pain, yes, and I fight with her often, of course.. that is what siblings do. But I love her to death and I couldn't imagine not having her in my life, or feeling resentful of her because I have had to give up things in my life towards her.

I think you should have your baby, or get your tubes tied to prevent this happening again if you really are considering killing your child, and then sit down with your daughter and tell her to stop acting like a spoiled brat.

That is another reason to have more than one child: you avoid the "only child" syndrome. Look at how you are spoiling her and letting her puberty-prone feelings affect YOUR life decision!! She needs to learn her wants don't come before everyone else's.

Answer 8

You should not let your 13 year old be making your decisions. You want the baby, you have the baby. Your daughter is probably somewhat shocked that, after 13 years, she will not be the center of your attention anymore, but she is part of a family, and with that comes responsibility. It is great that you have been open and honest with her...reassure her that you will still love her just as much, but that you are counting on her to help out the family in this new chapter of your lives.

Answer 9

Are you kidding me? Why are you letting a 13 year old control your life and the life of your baby? Every single day presents another opportunity. You should have the baby and let your selfish 13 year old grow up and deal with it. I've never heard of such selfishness and the fact you would even consider her feelings over your's and the baby is ridiculous. You should have the baby and let your selfish little daughter buck up and learn that life is not all about her. I've never heard of such a thing, it's just unacceptable from any frame of mind. Take control and do something about your selfish 13 year old. It's ridiculous. Congratulations and God bless you and yours.

Answer 10

Have your child and dont ask the 13 year old to baby sit. Hire a babysitter when you need one-thats what the rest of us do. Then when she sees how much the babysitter is making maybe your 13 year old will change her mind.

Dont let the behavior of a 13 year old make your decisions for you. This child has as much right to live as she does so enjoy the new baby.