Two months ago, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me all of a sudden. He said he didn't love anymore and had to figure some things out on his own. (HUH???) When we were going out, he was very insecure and jealous and he had to know everything. Example: If I mentioned a friend I saw today at the store, and I stopped to speak (it just happened to be a guy-maybe a classmate or something), he'd have to know: Does he have a job? Is he good-looking? Do you like him? Is his slimmer than me? And so on and so on..... Then I would get mad at him because I would never cheat on him for anything. I mean, if you see someone you know, you speak, "hey how ya been?" What ya up to these days....?? No problem right? Then, he would get mad at me and say it hurts his feelings when I get mad at him.......I've told him "This is the world, people get mad because you ain't perfect...But, we've decided to stay friends, but his insecurity is still there. We've worked things out, prayed, and we're hangin on.
2007-04-24 15:47:45 · 15 answers · asked by Country Clogger 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It's not wrong to stay friends with your x ,but girls mature faster than boys do ,then the new boyfriend usualy wants to kick the x's but ,why? because he thinks he has something to prove to everyone even though there's nothing going on(theres nothing going on right).thats the way 90 % of guys are ,if you find one who doesnt get mad , he's a keeper..lol.But no guy ,as in no girl wants to go down the street & hear yae i did her ,,,or him,,,so keep it quiet ,,,not like on the jerry springer show ,.. mum 's the word...
2007-04-24 16:14:58 · answer #1 · answered by hawkeye51957 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 19:16:30 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both have a lot to learn about relationships, and you both sound like you have a lot of growing up to do. I'm not saying this to sound condescending. It's just that your question is one of the more naive things people tend to say after the end of a relationship that was obviously doomed from the start.
When you get involved with someone, you should never feel awkward, uncomfortable, or controlled, especially not for the duration of the time you are together. This is a MAJOR sign that the person you are with has issues, or you have issues, or you both have issues. Relationships are supposed to (at least most of the time) make you feel GOOD. If your partner is so insecure that they feel they can't trust you (which is of course the foundation of any relationship) particularly when you've given them no reason to doubt your fidelity, you really need to get someone else's opinion, because you're obviously trapped in your own paradigm, and can't see that person as they truly are.
Staying friends might make you feel better for awhile, but once a relationship has been intimate, it's rare it can even go back to being less. Perhaps you could stay friends with this guy if he starts dating someone else, but do you honestly think he will want to be your "friend" if you get a new boyfriend.
Wake up and smell the coffee. It's over. Grow from the experience and MOVE ON.
2007-04-24 16:02:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with staying friends with an ex, if it is HEALTHY to do so. It sounds to me is this is not the case for you and your exboyfriend. Why would you want to be around someone who nags you about the little things in life when there is a whole, big, beautiful world out there to explore without being hassled? You would be doing your self a huge favor if you stayed on friendly terms, but did not really associate with him very often. Your self-esteem will be affected by his insecurities and his manipulations. Try to hand out with your girl friends and have girl fun. You will then be available to meet some other young man that will compliment you instead of dragging you down. Best of luck! LL
2007-04-24 15:55:23 · answer #4 · answered by Laurie Lee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pray all you want, I bet he isn't going to stop being an @ss. If this is a new break up, then the idea of cutting him off may not be palatable to you right now, but it would probably be best to cut him off from your life. He obviously isn't healthy for you. That may not be what you want to hear, but it's my two cents.
Edit: If he was easier to get along with and not so insecure, it wouldn't be a big deal, but that's not the way it is.
Not being friends doesn't mean you have to hate each other.
2007-04-24 15:53:24 · answer #5 · answered by A 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, prayer changes things...I'm not sure it will be a quick fix for his insecurities so to answer your question...sure, nothing wrong with being friends. but...
- you don't need his extra baggage
- you have your own life...live it, he's not the right one for you
- when the "right" guy comes along, there won't be all the contention that you have experience in the past year.
bottom line this guy has got issues. You came pray for him, but don't babysit him...move on !
2007-04-24 16:01:20 · answer #6 · answered by doug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you might be better off just being friends till he grows up a bit and gets over his insecurity
2007-04-24 15:51:31 · answer #7 · answered by Judas. S. Burroughs. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in theory its a great idea, if ex's all over the world could just be friends and that would be it. but this theory rarely works out and is quite difficult. if you arent dating and he is still insecure then you may want to re consider this.
2007-04-24 16:06:52 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has problems to overcome, problems common to many.
If you can't be friends, how were you ever lovers? You aren't friends with the one you loved?
It's usually the guy that has this problem, not the girl!
2007-04-24 16:03:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be friends after a relations shows a mature relationship. nothing wrong with it. I still chat at times with my first love, been apart for like 15 yrs, she's married, has a kid, but we still gab, check up on each other.
2007-04-24 16:00:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋