I'm a 37 year old father trying to gain custody of my 19 mo daughter. Need advice!?

Question

We've been to family court already and awarded joint legal/joint physical but mom wasnt working at time so she was given more time with our baby. We agreed in mediation for me to have all weekends and one night a week and she stipulated she 'may' agree to more time when she became employed. Shes been employed for months now, refuses to go back to mediation, late and refuses to come to my location for the exchanges, lives in a drug & prostitute infested area of Las Vegas and has ignored every attempt on my part to co-parent. She came up dirty on an initial drug test but was given a slap on the wrist by the judge and warned if any further use, it wouldn't be tolerated. She has also enrolled child in 2 seperate day care centers w/out my involvement when it was also agreed/ordered in mediation. She just seems to get away with everything while I get stuck paying my atty and not seeing results. Any advice??

Answer 1

Keep taking her to court.

Answer 2

How is your daughter going? The situation does not sound good, but is she happy and growing well despite this? Kids need mother and father, and I hope you can get somewhere without having to go back to court. Maybe you can make it so she realsises it is about what is best for your daughter, and not about power struggle. Maybe you could pick your battles eg. accept you have to go to her for exchanges and hopefully that she is not on drugs still (watch like a hawk without accusing unless sure), and you might be more able to negotiate on other things like child care in future and getting some more time here and there with your daughter. Maybe meet the child care centre people so they know you and can have you as an emergency contact too etc if you have not done so already. As your daughter gets older, she is going to do better if you two are not fightning about her, and you will have things like school events to attend together, so hopefully you can work together on raising your daughter. Maybe if your ex does not feel like she is being attacked, she won't be as defensive and might accept advice or help more (might take time). Maybe this is all rubbish that I am saying, but I hope you can work it out without having to go back to court and make the relationship between you and the ex even more tense. Good luck.

Answer 3

We have a court system in place for reasons like these. Because people suffer and it's hard to make valuable choices for ourselves when we are in a state of personal misery.

The mother is not being aware of the totality of the situation. Denying her own child time with the loving father is a very impact-full choice. There is some issue the mother is chewing on that's blinding her from making a more positive and aware choice. Being outside of the relationship with her, it is no longer your issue to help solve. Bypass.

Any sound judge or magistrate understands the weight and impact of having both parents involved in a child's life. Your emotional wounds and her emotional wounds are not factors in determining what is what. Judges have a legal and moral responsibility to look out for the best interests of the child. That truly is the only factual element in family law cases like yours.

I had to go to court twice in another State over a span of a 2 year process in order to get visitation with my two daughters enforced and legal. Mediation failed. The mother was not cooperative in any sense, even lied under oath in trying to convince the court that I was mentally unfit to be in my children's lives with absolutely no proof. The courts awarded me visitation on the premise that I am simply their Father and hurt feelings and bruised egos does not remove the fact that there are two children hanging in the balance.

It is hard. Even to this day, the mother does not fully comply with the order. It becomes a hard line. At the end of the day, I remind myself that I am responsible in ensuring that my daughters have my presence and guidance in their lives and it's my own actions that make the greater difference.

In these kinds of cases there's a clear and definitive bottom line. That's where you'll find the judge hanging out.

Say hi, be happy, love that baby.

Answer 4

I would definitely file it back in another court. A lot of judges seem to smack the mothers hand. Mainly cause their is so much controversy over whether a Dad can handle all the responsibilites of parenting. If she failed a drug test, and lives where there is a lot of trouble, and goes against an order, I would take her to court and try to get full custody. I think that the fathers should have just as much time with their kids and just as much involvement as the mothers. A lot of mothers shouldn't have as much. If you ever need to talk you can email or im me. Me and my boyfriend just went through this with his kids.

Answer 5

Find another lawyer that wants to help your daughter and gets her out of that environment that she's living in with your ex. Make notes- that you want the lawyer to know*(about her dirty drug test, where bouts the child is living, bout not holding up to her part/duties/responsibilites that was orderd in the mediations. Get a hold of the ppl that were there (the mediations) and let them know shes' not doing as instructed...and you're looking out for your daughters best interest* GoodLuck*

Answer 6

I hope you have a good lawyer!! I am telling you to go for full custody of the child or joint/via more time if you want more time or full custody. Get back into court and get your kid. This is not a good evironment for your child and if you have the means and the money to support her and if you are at work full time daycare and/or part time day care etc for your child go for it. You will win it hands down in a drug case. I love parents who love their kids and if you want yours bad enough and can show both emotional and physical appriciation for your child go for it. Make sure you specify that your child is in a dangerous environment and state everything you said here. Kids need parents who care and if you care that much go for it and have a good lawyer. This is serious and you must take action before your child thinks that drugs and/or addictions are ok to him/her. Get her and make sure she/he is safe. Take care Heather, I have lived through abuse and the best thing you can do for him/her is care.

Answer 7

for the reason that CPS keeps to tutor a blind eye, you may desire to grow to be the "diary" for the daughter. [Abuse]: bypass returned as far as your reminiscence is nice and start to make notes of dates, situations, places and witnesses to particular incidents that handed off. something that the youngster has reported, something that any of her friends or friends have reported or considered. [on an commonplace basis Stuff]: additionally, shop archives of all the flaws that family have performed to assist the little lady do her on an commonplace basis existence. additionally, record particular info. Any receipts you have, papers, notes - collect all. shop a tally of expenditures (actually, backed via coverage expenditures, gas and motor vehicle value, outfits, medicine, and so on.) this might tutor how fully unreliable the beginning mom and her hubby are correct to the on an commonplace basis responsibilites. shop the two logs in a secure place. Be as distinctive as conceivable! Interview and hire a stable of the line criminal professional. make certain he/she is quite experienced in family regulation - one that has gained situations for the father may be reachable! Do what they recommend. And whilst the time is nice, your criminal professional will take you via the stairs to get the youngster out of this harsh existence she is going by using. be certain to establish counseling for her, as injury has already taken place psychologically (even infants can remember abuse later). And get your church in the back of you, for the reason which you want prayer to ask for God's help, and to offer you potential and self assurance to bypass via with this and not supply up. God Bless you on your attempt! 112007 2:forty 5

Answer 8

i'm not sure how this whole custody thing works out but if it is legally binding and she is not following the terms then you need to bring this to light. get a notebook and keep detailed records of days you get custody and shes late or doesn't bring your child by. probably go to your local police department and file a complaint as well.

Answer 9

Sick. I guess your attorney is not helping. I heard there is an attorney in San Jose area that is a father advocate. I dont know the name. Perhaps someone can help you find one of those kind of attorneys. Your story makes me so angry. It is not fair to you at all. Sorry, I wish I could help you someway.

Answer 10

Wow, this is horrifically sad. First, no child that young should be away from mom to go to dad. SEcond, no child that young should be in daycare, let alone two day cares.

The research is quite clear on how damaging all this separation is, so maybe you need a better lawyer.

Answer 11

can you take photos of the bad neighbor hood and then of your good neighborhood? why can't you petition the judge to listen to your side? get a better lawyer. your baby could be in danger. sooner or later. closely examine both day care centers.