I am dating a man who is significantly older than me. I am 34 and he is 51. He is kind, loving and our sex life is fantastic! But, the age thing does bother both of us; he feels that people are looking at us when we go out together. I also am worried that in the future I may regret not having children if I stay with him (he already has 8 children from a previous marriage and isn't interested in more). Any advice?
2007-04-24 15:05:47 · 8 answers · asked by fairjuno 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've seen a bigger age spread work but they both wanted a child.
It's critical that you get in touch with how important motherhood is to you. A lot of women get overpowering baby urges between 30 and 35, and it's important not to bury or deny them just because it would be convenient. It's certainly a valid issue.
In comparison, his gripe about discomfort from people looking at the two of you rings false. If he really is that insecure with himself that he'd let this wreck a great relationship then I'd say he has some problems. More likely he feels some discomfort about the age difference and can't or won't discuss it with you, so he projects his discomfort onto strangers. This isn't the same as a bald-faced lie or evasion, but I think it bears exploring.
2007-04-24 15:29:15 · answer #1 · answered by Houyhnhnm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where do you live?
Move to LA and no one will notice. 51 year old producers cruise junior high schools here. A 51 year old who goes out with a 34 year old is doing charity work or can't afford a younger chick. No matter how old a guy is here, when the girl turns 40, he kicks her to the curb.
I would say the interest in having kids should be a bigger red flag than the age difference. If he really loved you, he'd want to pop out a few with you too.
He is probably just enjoying you for right now, and if you go along with his thing about no kids, great. If you don't, I doubt that it will crush him.
2007-04-24 22:11:58 · answer #2 · answered by yurbud 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Get out and start from scratch. I have been there and you end up feeling down on yourself. The kids and ex-wife always come first in his life because they are his kids and she is their Mother. You always will come in thirdplace or even fourth because HE is actually before you too. You are young and you deseve a lot better. You should be the one in First place until your owOWN kids some into the picture.
If you don't believe me, just wait it out, and you will see what I mean time and time again. I would leave as soon as you feel like you are ready to move on to new things and consider it just a fling or a nice memory to refect on while finding your "Mr. Right".
2007-04-24 22:15:57 · answer #3 · answered by Cuppycake♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well there is nothing wrong with being with an older guy, but if you want kids and he wants kids then that is a barrier that you will regret crossing later. I also like younger women but im staying a virgin till marriage and most women these days
dont agree with this, that is my only problem with them, but if i were you i would search for someone that also wants kids.
2007-04-25 09:57:14 · answer #4 · answered by virgin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are worried about what other people think than perhaps you should not be togeather. If he does not want children and you do , than you do not belong with each other
2007-04-24 22:10:49 · answer #5 · answered by Wolverine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
weigh the pros and cons. think about whats more importnant to you. you have to follow your heart whether its screaming i love you or i want kids.
2007-04-24 22:14:29 · answer #6 · answered by ugly truth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a lucky guy.
2007-04-24 22:09:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run fast and far.
2007-04-24 22:09:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋